...Be ready to rock the most metal library in the city (IDYLWYLDE!! Meedilymeedilymeedily) and do a workshop with yours truly.
It's a workshop for absolute beginners in Improv, so if you have experience, you might want to leave this one in the dust.
Here's the thing though. You've got to register. I think you can just call them (496-1808).
Link of the day: http://www.myspace.com/ladylovinlynx
Hee hee, I don't know what I'm doing with this page yet.
Song of the day: "Jackass" by Beck. Found a live recording of sorts, and put it on the link above. Maybe that's the function that page will serve... Songs of the day. Yes.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Whyte Avenue Urban Legends... Onstage?
So, the P-jam returned to an idea we tried once; The Urban Legend game.
Without going into too much detail (because I already explained it once), we re-tell a myth onstage and provide some insight as to how it happened.
It made me think that Whyte Avenue (or Edmonton in general) must have some urban legends or myths attached to it... Curious if anybody knows any of them or who to ask.
Or maybe our Dirty Ol' Town actually has clean laundry, I don't know.
Or maybe Edmonton Urban Legends are boring (which means we could spice 'em up?).
Or maybe I'm reaching for something that isn't there.
Or maybe I'm amazed by you. Maybe Baby... I seriously digress.
Gimme your myths and legends. They might be from your school, work, or massage parlour. I'm sure there are some.
Or be hilarious and make up one.
Link of the day: http://www.normandcompany.com/SM1GAME/newsplash.html
Why not? Solve a stickman murder.
Song of the day: "Super Bon Bon" by Soul Coughing. There's a highly entertaining remix out there. I enjoyed it.
Without going into too much detail (because I already explained it once), we re-tell a myth onstage and provide some insight as to how it happened.
It made me think that Whyte Avenue (or Edmonton in general) must have some urban legends or myths attached to it... Curious if anybody knows any of them or who to ask.
Or maybe our Dirty Ol' Town actually has clean laundry, I don't know.
Or maybe Edmonton Urban Legends are boring (which means we could spice 'em up?).
Or maybe I'm reaching for something that isn't there.
Or maybe I'm amazed by you. Maybe Baby... I seriously digress.
Gimme your myths and legends. They might be from your school, work, or massage parlour. I'm sure there are some.
Or be hilarious and make up one.
Link of the day: http://www.normandcompany.com/SM1GAME/newsplash.html
Why not? Solve a stickman murder.
Song of the day: "Super Bon Bon" by Soul Coughing. There's a highly entertaining remix out there. I enjoyed it.
Monday, May 29, 2006
I Wash Myself with a Rag on a Stick.
Some forced perspective going on here, but that's still a big effin rabbit.
The Rise of Lawrence Bideaux?
Yes. A reincarnation.
Some of you maybe read the story about my clownie alterego, Bido.
Well, I think I found his new look.
You see, sometimes (more often than not), I'd say people are totally weirded out by clowns. Either you hate them, they make you feel uncomfortable, or the "uncoolness" of being one makes you want to punch them.
However, I like a well-performed or sincere clown.
I think most people would rather not get to know a clown. The mere appearance of a red nose is like a stop sign or a medicalert tag that says "Warning: Very likely to annoy and follow those who least want anything to do with me. There is no vaccine."
So I can solve that problem. I'm going to take Bido's nose away for a while, and I'm going to give him an alterego.
Aw yeah. Very Gemini.
I will call Bido's alterego Lawrence Bideaux. I don't know when or where he'll make his debut, but it's bound to happen. Essentially, he's a very confident man who believes he can do anything he wants at any time. Become a hockey player? No problem. Become Canada's next Prime Minister? Easy. Do burpees from Edmonton to Calgary? Before breakfast.
But the only problem will be, he fails outright every time. It's more the journey that'll be the story, not so much the accomplishment... Well, not the thing he set out to accomplish. I'm sure he'll get all sorts of unintentional glory on the way...
Perhaps some short films will be the way to introduce him. Around 2 or 3 minutes long, just to warm people up to the idea at first.
Then, the climb up Everest, using only his teeth.
Link of the Day: http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/animals.asp
Copius pictures of real and fake animal encounters. Enjoy.
Song of the Day: "Hanging on the Telephone" by Def Leppard. You heard me. Def Leppard has a new, 2006 album of covers. Including this one, originally done by Blondie, also covered by L7.
Some of you maybe read the story about my clownie alterego, Bido.
Well, I think I found his new look.
You see, sometimes (more often than not), I'd say people are totally weirded out by clowns. Either you hate them, they make you feel uncomfortable, or the "uncoolness" of being one makes you want to punch them.
However, I like a well-performed or sincere clown.
I think most people would rather not get to know a clown. The mere appearance of a red nose is like a stop sign or a medicalert tag that says "Warning: Very likely to annoy and follow those who least want anything to do with me. There is no vaccine."
So I can solve that problem. I'm going to take Bido's nose away for a while, and I'm going to give him an alterego.
Aw yeah. Very Gemini.
I will call Bido's alterego Lawrence Bideaux. I don't know when or where he'll make his debut, but it's bound to happen. Essentially, he's a very confident man who believes he can do anything he wants at any time. Become a hockey player? No problem. Become Canada's next Prime Minister? Easy. Do burpees from Edmonton to Calgary? Before breakfast.
But the only problem will be, he fails outright every time. It's more the journey that'll be the story, not so much the accomplishment... Well, not the thing he set out to accomplish. I'm sure he'll get all sorts of unintentional glory on the way...
Perhaps some short films will be the way to introduce him. Around 2 or 3 minutes long, just to warm people up to the idea at first.
Then, the climb up Everest, using only his teeth.
Link of the Day: http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/animals.asp
Copius pictures of real and fake animal encounters. Enjoy.
Song of the Day: "Hanging on the Telephone" by Def Leppard. You heard me. Def Leppard has a new, 2006 album of covers. Including this one, originally done by Blondie, also covered by L7.
Friday, May 26, 2006
Ta Da: The Rise and Fall of Bido
Before you read me, why don't you check out Jesse?
http://fret-buzz.livejournal.com/
Carry on.
Once upon a time, I was a clown named Bido.
No, not some sort of party clown. I don't really know how to make balloon animals or squirt kids in the face with clown-acid out of my novelty flower.
An actual, classic, traditional (with a splash of "discovering the clown within" courtesy of Jan Henderson) clown.
It took a summer of hard training at the University of Alberta, my involvement in a show that had some "clowning" in it (entitled Move-Ease, it was often criticized for trying to have too many ideas in one show, but most viewers agreed it was a fun romp), and a year's worth of physical theatre training in a Lecoq-style school for myself to feel confident enough to actually take the show on the road.
Yes, my friends, I did a clown-street performing show a few years back at Fort McMurray's interPLAY festival... And I brought along a friend of mine, who I now have completely lost track of, named Benjamin Roy. Our little acting troupe (also including Melissa Everitt for creative input and housing) was called the Special Blend; Get it? Shawn (Special) and Ben (Blend)?
I'm special.
Anyway, the show was well attended, as we were in an outside busking venue with a huge stage. The routine consisted of a brief commedia dell' arte lazze in which myself and Ben performed as Hamtore and Bob (for those in the know, these were takes on the characters Arlecchino and Brigellha). Then, the main routine consisted of Ben as "Announcer Guy" and myself as Bido.
The story goes, we trained a weasel to juggle scrarves in it's mouth while balancing on a teeter board, and then he jumps through a hoop as the grand finale. Naturally, the "weasel" (concealed inside a hat) attacks Bido and he has to kill it (stomping on the hat). As a replacement, we attempt to have "Speedo" (a miniature replica marionette) perform those stunts. But he dies of a heart attack due to stage fright and a larger-than-life threat provided by Bido.
Of course, Bido has to perform the trick himself.
Then, to wrap things up, Bido challenges an audience member to a "Big Contest", and a burly man would always be picked. We would reveal the contest to be a stripping contest, much to the joy(?) of the audience.
But here's the fall of the story: As an inexperienced street performer, I forgot the "money speech" at the end of one of our shows.
And guess what happened? $40, that's what happened.
From a crowd of about 150.
Yeah, when you find a creative way to get people to come up and give you some money, they do (the show the day before brought in about $200).
And thus, the Bido show was put on hiatus. Perhaps permanently.
So a lesson to all aspiring street performers: ASK FOR MONEY. Find a way. Your audience will deliver.
Link of the Day: http://www.foolmoon.org/
The home of Jan Henderson, who heightened my clowning ability.
Song of the Day: "Circus Song" By The Gandharvas. These Canadians were an interesting batch.
http://fret-buzz.livejournal.com/
Carry on.
Once upon a time, I was a clown named Bido.
No, not some sort of party clown. I don't really know how to make balloon animals or squirt kids in the face with clown-acid out of my novelty flower.
An actual, classic, traditional (with a splash of "discovering the clown within" courtesy of Jan Henderson) clown.
It took a summer of hard training at the University of Alberta, my involvement in a show that had some "clowning" in it (entitled Move-Ease, it was often criticized for trying to have too many ideas in one show, but most viewers agreed it was a fun romp), and a year's worth of physical theatre training in a Lecoq-style school for myself to feel confident enough to actually take the show on the road.
Yes, my friends, I did a clown-street performing show a few years back at Fort McMurray's interPLAY festival... And I brought along a friend of mine, who I now have completely lost track of, named Benjamin Roy. Our little acting troupe (also including Melissa Everitt for creative input and housing) was called the Special Blend; Get it? Shawn (Special) and Ben (Blend)?
I'm special.
Anyway, the show was well attended, as we were in an outside busking venue with a huge stage. The routine consisted of a brief commedia dell' arte lazze in which myself and Ben performed as Hamtore and Bob (for those in the know, these were takes on the characters Arlecchino and Brigellha). Then, the main routine consisted of Ben as "Announcer Guy" and myself as Bido.
The story goes, we trained a weasel to juggle scrarves in it's mouth while balancing on a teeter board, and then he jumps through a hoop as the grand finale. Naturally, the "weasel" (concealed inside a hat) attacks Bido and he has to kill it (stomping on the hat). As a replacement, we attempt to have "Speedo" (a miniature replica marionette) perform those stunts. But he dies of a heart attack due to stage fright and a larger-than-life threat provided by Bido.
Of course, Bido has to perform the trick himself.
Then, to wrap things up, Bido challenges an audience member to a "Big Contest", and a burly man would always be picked. We would reveal the contest to be a stripping contest, much to the joy(?) of the audience.
But here's the fall of the story: As an inexperienced street performer, I forgot the "money speech" at the end of one of our shows.
And guess what happened? $40, that's what happened.
From a crowd of about 150.
Yeah, when you find a creative way to get people to come up and give you some money, they do (the show the day before brought in about $200).
And thus, the Bido show was put on hiatus. Perhaps permanently.
So a lesson to all aspiring street performers: ASK FOR MONEY. Find a way. Your audience will deliver.
Link of the Day: http://www.foolmoon.org/
The home of Jan Henderson, who heightened my clowning ability.
Song of the Day: "Circus Song" By The Gandharvas. These Canadians were an interesting batch.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Spoon in Your Head
My sister's boyfriend pointed it out to me while I was watching hockey the other night;
"No family watches commericals more closely than the Pallier Family."
Which is true, to a point.
I know there is a car commercial out there where when the car in question drives by, everything around it is "turned on". Little robots in store windows dance, balloons inflate and take a girl high in the sky and... a woman's vibrator "turns on" in her purse?!
Yeah, next time you watch that commercial, watch for it.
The problem is, I'm so distracted by that moment, I don't know what the commercial is for.
Same thing happened with the new commercial for Satellite Radio (but which one? Sirius? XM Radio? See my problem?). I'm so distracted by the fact that the commercial seems to compare one of my favorite bands, Spoon, with Bob Dylan and Ludacris(??).
Basically, they're saying you'll "discover" your favorite band on their radio stations just like music executives "discovered" Bob Dylan at a Laundromat, Ludacris in the woods(??), and another artist at a bus stop... can't remember who.
But I'm so distracted by Spoon's awesomeness, I don't care what the product is.
Now that's backfiring advertising.
Link of the Day: http://www.spoontheband.com/site.html
Spoon rocks.
Song of the Day: "Sister Jack" by Spoon. 'Tis the song in the commercial.
"No family watches commericals more closely than the Pallier Family."
Which is true, to a point.
I know there is a car commercial out there where when the car in question drives by, everything around it is "turned on". Little robots in store windows dance, balloons inflate and take a girl high in the sky and... a woman's vibrator "turns on" in her purse?!
Yeah, next time you watch that commercial, watch for it.
The problem is, I'm so distracted by that moment, I don't know what the commercial is for.
Same thing happened with the new commercial for Satellite Radio (but which one? Sirius? XM Radio? See my problem?). I'm so distracted by the fact that the commercial seems to compare one of my favorite bands, Spoon, with Bob Dylan and Ludacris(??).
Basically, they're saying you'll "discover" your favorite band on their radio stations just like music executives "discovered" Bob Dylan at a Laundromat, Ludacris in the woods(??), and another artist at a bus stop... can't remember who.
But I'm so distracted by Spoon's awesomeness, I don't care what the product is.
Now that's backfiring advertising.
Link of the Day: http://www.spoontheband.com/site.html
Spoon rocks.
Song of the Day: "Sister Jack" by Spoon. 'Tis the song in the commercial.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Brilliance (or Smile-Inducing Stupidity...)
So I've been watching the 1980's series "Sledge Hammer!" on DVD lately.
The first thing I've discovered is it was partially written by Al Jean, of "The Simpsons" fame (or infamy, depending on how you feel about the Simpsons). The second thing I've discovered is the budget wasn't very high.
But the most important thing I've noticed about the series is it's impossible-to-decipher target audience.
On the surface, it's a spoof of the Cop show genre. And it could also be said it's done "Naked Gun/Police Story"-style spoof. But for those who watch far too many movies, every single episode is also based on the outline of a movie... well, maybe a couple were not, but almost all were (hey, kind of like the Simpsons...).
So if you've seen the movie they're spoofing, the comedy can be seen as brilliant. If you haven't seen the movie they're spoofing, you might find yourself saying,
"What is this shit and how did it get on the air?"
So who was this show made for? Cop-show buffs? Movie buffs? Spoof-lovers? All of the above? Is there such thing as someone who loves all of the above at the same time?
Don't take my word for it, see it for yourself.
link of the day:
http://www.sledgehammeronline.com/
Song of the day:
"Immigrant Song" by Led Zeppelin. Because this series also makes me think of "Get Smart", check out how Robert Plant's vocals from the opening of this song totally robs the "Get Smart" Theme song. Hilarious.
The first thing I've discovered is it was partially written by Al Jean, of "The Simpsons" fame (or infamy, depending on how you feel about the Simpsons). The second thing I've discovered is the budget wasn't very high.
But the most important thing I've noticed about the series is it's impossible-to-decipher target audience.
On the surface, it's a spoof of the Cop show genre. And it could also be said it's done "Naked Gun/Police Story"-style spoof. But for those who watch far too many movies, every single episode is also based on the outline of a movie... well, maybe a couple were not, but almost all were (hey, kind of like the Simpsons...).
So if you've seen the movie they're spoofing, the comedy can be seen as brilliant. If you haven't seen the movie they're spoofing, you might find yourself saying,
"What is this shit and how did it get on the air?"
So who was this show made for? Cop-show buffs? Movie buffs? Spoof-lovers? All of the above? Is there such thing as someone who loves all of the above at the same time?
Don't take my word for it, see it for yourself.
link of the day:
http://www.sledgehammeronline.com/
Song of the day:
"Immigrant Song" by Led Zeppelin. Because this series also makes me think of "Get Smart", check out how Robert Plant's vocals from the opening of this song totally robs the "Get Smart" Theme song. Hilarious.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Your Own Worst Enemy
Rapid Fire Theatre puts on great improv shows.
And sometimes, we beat ourselves up about it.
Glad to report, not so much this week, but sometimes, we give ourselves a hell of a tough time. As an audience member recently pointed out;
"Don't worry so much. You're awesome."
She meant us as a whole, the collective "you're", if you will.
If the improvisers change the way we look at the shows we do, we can have fun and not suck all at the same time.
Of course, if we deserve a tongue-lashing, we almost always know that... But less self tongue-lashing is probably a good idea.
Besides, there are better ways to stay clean.
Song of the Day: Rockin' Robin by Bobby Day. It's my second-favorite Karaoke song of all time.
Link of the Day: http://www.artifactstrading.com
I designed the site, and I don't know what else to do with it. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know... I do plan on adding about 14,990 more items, though...
And sometimes, we beat ourselves up about it.
Glad to report, not so much this week, but sometimes, we give ourselves a hell of a tough time. As an audience member recently pointed out;
"Don't worry so much. You're awesome."
She meant us as a whole, the collective "you're", if you will.
If the improvisers change the way we look at the shows we do, we can have fun and not suck all at the same time.
Of course, if we deserve a tongue-lashing, we almost always know that... But less self tongue-lashing is probably a good idea.
Besides, there are better ways to stay clean.
Song of the Day: Rockin' Robin by Bobby Day. It's my second-favorite Karaoke song of all time.
Link of the Day: http://www.artifactstrading.com
I designed the site, and I don't know what else to do with it. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know... I do plan on adding about 14,990 more items, though...
Friday, May 19, 2006
How to Open a Can of Worms in One Easy Step!
Check this out.
After recently seeing "American Dreamz" (boy oh boy, are the reviews gonna be mixed on this one), I noticed a line Hugh Grant said, and had a good laugh. It went something like this:
"Alright. I have all the freak-show singers I need, but where is the one I can masterbate to?"
I thought to myself, now there's a line that would not win you points with a person that you were trying to put the moves on... Realizing (of course) that his character (Simon Cowell) would never say that to someone's face (or would he?).
I just imagined the scenario though, as something really casual.
Say you're sitting with a friend of yours, enjoying a tea at the local "teaporium". You look across the table at them, and say;
"So, I know we're just friends and all, but, do you ever think of me when you masterbate?"
And the person across the table says,
"Dude, you just totally crossed the line and are dancing towards a new, previously undiscovered line... What's your problem?"
And you're all like,
"It's just a question... Conservative right-wing jerk."
And then you continue to drink tea, and ruin a friendship.
Sounds like fun to me.
Link of the Day: http://ilovecakelikeabrother.blogspot.com
Jeremey the workshopper's blog.
Song of the Day: "Hallelujah" by Imogen Heap. Proof yet again that everyone loves Leonard Cohen. Even Bono, Jeff Buckley, John Cale, Allison Crowe, k.d. lang, Bob Dylan, Rufus Wainwright, Elisa, Gavin DeGraw, Arooj Aftab and the Jazz Mandolin Project. Everyone.
After recently seeing "American Dreamz" (boy oh boy, are the reviews gonna be mixed on this one), I noticed a line Hugh Grant said, and had a good laugh. It went something like this:
"Alright. I have all the freak-show singers I need, but where is the one I can masterbate to?"
I thought to myself, now there's a line that would not win you points with a person that you were trying to put the moves on... Realizing (of course) that his character (Simon Cowell) would never say that to someone's face (or would he?).
I just imagined the scenario though, as something really casual.
Say you're sitting with a friend of yours, enjoying a tea at the local "teaporium". You look across the table at them, and say;
"So, I know we're just friends and all, but, do you ever think of me when you masterbate?"
And the person across the table says,
"Dude, you just totally crossed the line and are dancing towards a new, previously undiscovered line... What's your problem?"
And you're all like,
"It's just a question... Conservative right-wing jerk."
And then you continue to drink tea, and ruin a friendship.
Sounds like fun to me.
Link of the Day: http://ilovecakelikeabrother.blogspot.com
Jeremey the workshopper's blog.
Song of the Day: "Hallelujah" by Imogen Heap. Proof yet again that everyone loves Leonard Cohen. Even Bono, Jeff Buckley, John Cale, Allison Crowe, k.d. lang, Bob Dylan, Rufus Wainwright, Elisa, Gavin DeGraw, Arooj Aftab and the Jazz Mandolin Project. Everyone.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Insight from a Coconut
I discovered recently that sometimes, when we put our heads together onstage we can:
a) achieve anything
b) make a coconut-like sound
Both have the potential to be entertaining and engaging.
Speaking of achievements, I think this invention should be given a second chance.
http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/051206/chinese-food-bong.gif
Thanks, Jeremey.
"Loose" by Iggy and the Stooges. If anyone can find me the cover that Spoon did of this song, let me know.
a) achieve anything
b) make a coconut-like sound
Both have the potential to be entertaining and engaging.
Speaking of achievements, I think this invention should be given a second chance.
http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/051206/chinese-food-bong.gif
Thanks, Jeremey.
"Loose" by Iggy and the Stooges. If anyone can find me the cover that Spoon did of this song, let me know.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Idle and Wild-- Two Cops Who Just Don't Get Along
So, I'm conducting a workshop for the Edmonton Public Library.
Shhhhhhhh...
Sorry.
The age limit on the poster says 13 to 19, because that's what the library wanted.
However, everyone and their dog has been asking if they can take it. From 11 year-olds to 35 year-olds. Hell, even the people who asked me to do this teen-related workshop asked me is if folks in their 20s could take it.
Seriously, I don't care. Bring down Grandma, Grandpa and unborn phoetuses. Mummies and Mommies. Little people and those with acromegaly. Bring'em all, and sign 'em up at the Idylwylde Library near Bonnie Doon Mall.
The only library named by 1985 headbangers. Welcome to the IDYLWYLDE!!! Meedilymeedilymeedily!!
Link of the Day: http://www.headbangers.tv/ I didn't mean these headbangers... who are these headbangers, anyway?
Song of the Day: "Into the Fire" by Dokken. Rock and rolla.
PS-- The Doctor Jamie Cavanagh is in... http://ramblingjamie.blogspot.com/
Shhhhhhhh...
Sorry.
The age limit on the poster says 13 to 19, because that's what the library wanted.
However, everyone and their dog has been asking if they can take it. From 11 year-olds to 35 year-olds. Hell, even the people who asked me to do this teen-related workshop asked me is if folks in their 20s could take it.
Seriously, I don't care. Bring down Grandma, Grandpa and unborn phoetuses. Mummies and Mommies. Little people and those with acromegaly. Bring'em all, and sign 'em up at the Idylwylde Library near Bonnie Doon Mall.
The only library named by 1985 headbangers. Welcome to the IDYLWYLDE!!! Meedilymeedilymeedily!!
Link of the Day: http://www.headbangers.tv/ I didn't mean these headbangers... who are these headbangers, anyway?
Song of the Day: "Into the Fire" by Dokken. Rock and rolla.
PS-- The Doctor Jamie Cavanagh is in... http://ramblingjamie.blogspot.com/
Monday, May 15, 2006
Decoding the Dream
So I'm having this dream-- I'm in a sort-of "band class", but the only problem is, I don't have an instrument. And my sheet music is in my locker.
My locker is in the room, but I don't know the combination. I tell myself "Be cool, your fingers will know the combination." And you know what?
They did.
And then, I realize that I wouldn't know how to play the instrument (probably a trombone) anyway. Now that I have the music, I don't know how to read it, and I haven't played any instrument for a decade.
And, even though my adrenaline is really starting to race, I'm not overly scared...
And then I wake up.
How did I know the locker combination? This must relate to some sort of Improvisational something, but what does it mean?
Link of the Day: http://www.snopes.com/horrors/insects/cactus.htm
The truth behind the spider-cactus thingie!
Song of the Day: "Territorial Pissings (Live)", by From Autumn To Ashes. And you thought Nirvana would be the only band to tear through this one... No way.
My locker is in the room, but I don't know the combination. I tell myself "Be cool, your fingers will know the combination." And you know what?
They did.
And then, I realize that I wouldn't know how to play the instrument (probably a trombone) anyway. Now that I have the music, I don't know how to read it, and I haven't played any instrument for a decade.
And, even though my adrenaline is really starting to race, I'm not overly scared...
And then I wake up.
How did I know the locker combination? This must relate to some sort of Improvisational something, but what does it mean?
Link of the Day: http://www.snopes.com/horrors/insects/cactus.htm
The truth behind the spider-cactus thingie!
Song of the Day: "Territorial Pissings (Live)", by From Autumn To Ashes. And you thought Nirvana would be the only band to tear through this one... No way.
Friday, May 12, 2006
As Uncle Carl Once Said...
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
or was that Abraham Lincoln?... Gerald Ford?.... Freddie Mercury?
Oh, no wait, it was totally Victoria Chevrolet. Yeah, that's it.
Song of the Day: "Warmth Of The Sand" by Dashboard Confessional. Seriously, playing Rexall Place? Where was I when they got that popular?
NEW FEATURE!! Link of the Day: http://www.engrish.com/recent_detail.php?imagename=wealthy-person-lump.jpg&category=Signs/Posters&date=2006-04-29
Hee hee. Remember, no bombs! Oh yeah, and that crazy engrish stuff! And No Preaching!
or was that Abraham Lincoln?... Gerald Ford?.... Freddie Mercury?
Oh, no wait, it was totally Victoria Chevrolet. Yeah, that's it.
Song of the Day: "Warmth Of The Sand" by Dashboard Confessional. Seriously, playing Rexall Place? Where was I when they got that popular?
NEW FEATURE!! Link of the Day: http://www.engrish.com/recent_detail.php?imagename=wealthy-person-lump.jpg&category=Signs/Posters&date=2006-04-29
Hee hee. Remember, no bombs! Oh yeah, and that crazy engrish stuff! And No Preaching!
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Pulling Your Wire(s) and Living Life
Yessir, the most recent way somebody stumbled across me was by searching for:
"Edmonton Oilers and boobies on Whyte Avenue."
I suggest to this individual (who lives here in Edmonton according to my high-tech tracking gizmo) that if he or she would like to see boobies on Whyte Avenue, just go to Whyte Avenue! There are plenty of boobies that don't have to come to you through a wire on your computer screen; They can come to you in REAL LIFE!
And the Oilers won last night. Maaaan, you shoulda gone there last night... I'm sure there was plenty of "Edmontonflesh" on display.
Oh, and while I'm at it, alleeall searching for Funny Nicknames and coming to my site to look for one; Funny nicknames are not looked up on a computer. They are given specifically to specific people whom are suited to that particular funny nickname. You can't just go start calling your friend "Dutchess Fruity Pants" because somebody once had that nickname, and you think it's funny. No No. A funny nickname is earned, not thrown at someone like a beer bottle.
And while we're on the topic of specifics and earning things, you might notice I'm not shoveling a lot of improvisational advice at y'all lately. That's because I'm becoming more and more aware that you can't give the same improv advice to everyone... This is a highly-specialized world of performing and if everyone tryed to pull a Seering Meer, a Mad Crad, or a... Bevvy of Kevvy(?) out of their ass, you'd get one thing: A sore ass, from trying to pull something out of it that wasn't there.
Every single member of Rapid Fire Theatre is going to find their own voice, their own style, and you'll find what works for them is sooo not what works for someone else.
So... who wants to go to Whyte Avenue with me after the next Oilers game?
Song of the Day: "Black Night" (DJ Baba G & Dan the Automator Remix) by Badar Ali Kahn. How many old school samples can 2 DJs fit in one song? The answer is ALL OF THEM!
Building, Constructing...
Groove Modulation... Grr, grr, Groove Modulation!
"Edmonton Oilers and boobies on Whyte Avenue."
I suggest to this individual (who lives here in Edmonton according to my high-tech tracking gizmo) that if he or she would like to see boobies on Whyte Avenue, just go to Whyte Avenue! There are plenty of boobies that don't have to come to you through a wire on your computer screen; They can come to you in REAL LIFE!
And the Oilers won last night. Maaaan, you shoulda gone there last night... I'm sure there was plenty of "Edmontonflesh" on display.
Oh, and while I'm at it, alleeall searching for Funny Nicknames and coming to my site to look for one; Funny nicknames are not looked up on a computer. They are given specifically to specific people whom are suited to that particular funny nickname. You can't just go start calling your friend "Dutchess Fruity Pants" because somebody once had that nickname, and you think it's funny. No No. A funny nickname is earned, not thrown at someone like a beer bottle.
And while we're on the topic of specifics and earning things, you might notice I'm not shoveling a lot of improvisational advice at y'all lately. That's because I'm becoming more and more aware that you can't give the same improv advice to everyone... This is a highly-specialized world of performing and if everyone tryed to pull a Seering Meer, a Mad Crad, or a... Bevvy of Kevvy(?) out of their ass, you'd get one thing: A sore ass, from trying to pull something out of it that wasn't there.
Every single member of Rapid Fire Theatre is going to find their own voice, their own style, and you'll find what works for them is sooo not what works for someone else.
So... who wants to go to Whyte Avenue with me after the next Oilers game?
Song of the Day: "Black Night" (DJ Baba G & Dan the Automator Remix) by Badar Ali Kahn. How many old school samples can 2 DJs fit in one song? The answer is ALL OF THEM!
Building, Constructing...
Groove Modulation... Grr, grr, Groove Modulation!
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Two Turntables, but no Microphone
I am now the proud owner of a "portable" RCA Victor Record Player.
It looks like a suitcase, but when you open it, two silver-thread covered speakers that look like coffins fold out, and a Garrard Turntable drops down. Just to give you an idea of it's age, this sucker has 4 speeds! (16(!), 33, 45, and 78 rpm). The only problem is this: It doesn't really play records fast enough. It's spinning just slow enough that David Bowie sounds a little more sad than usual... Now, I have 2 turntables that don't really work, but hey, a collection I have started.
My new addition came to me because I was helping an elderly woman move out of her west-end house. She is a Holocaust survivor. I was told she is a candy-maker (I don't know what the official title for a candy-maker is-- confecionist? Sugarmonger?). She says that she survived the concentration camps because of her talent to make candy with very little ingredients and means. That made her an effective member of society, and useful according to her.
Her husband passed away not too long ago. All his clothes could be fit into 3 very small boxes. I saved his hat.
Song of the Day: "Fame" by David Bowie. It's the song I used to demo the Victrola... For those who are more curious about the record player, it says all this throughout the piece:
New Vista All Transistor Stereo
RCA Victor Victrola Record Player
model# VS14, Made in Montreal, Canada
(Turntable: AT6 Garrard, Made in England)
It looks like a suitcase, but when you open it, two silver-thread covered speakers that look like coffins fold out, and a Garrard Turntable drops down. Just to give you an idea of it's age, this sucker has 4 speeds! (16(!), 33, 45, and 78 rpm). The only problem is this: It doesn't really play records fast enough. It's spinning just slow enough that David Bowie sounds a little more sad than usual... Now, I have 2 turntables that don't really work, but hey, a collection I have started.
My new addition came to me because I was helping an elderly woman move out of her west-end house. She is a Holocaust survivor. I was told she is a candy-maker (I don't know what the official title for a candy-maker is-- confecionist? Sugarmonger?). She says that she survived the concentration camps because of her talent to make candy with very little ingredients and means. That made her an effective member of society, and useful according to her.
Her husband passed away not too long ago. All his clothes could be fit into 3 very small boxes. I saved his hat.
Song of the Day: "Fame" by David Bowie. It's the song I used to demo the Victrola... For those who are more curious about the record player, it says all this throughout the piece:
New Vista All Transistor Stereo
RCA Victor Victrola Record Player
model# VS14, Made in Montreal, Canada
(Turntable: AT6 Garrard, Made in England)
Monday, May 08, 2006
Telefunny?
Where would modern man be without the telephone?
I mean, it sure cleared up that old-timey story device where a telegram would arrive "just in time". It seems to me far more likely that a phone call would, so hazzah to the telephone for helping stories (or hindering? discuss).
But boo to the phone for helping us lie.
Man, it's easy to be deceptive over the phone. Maybe the Jetsons had it right: Visaphones. Then, you'd have to sort of look at the other person and tell them the truth... Instead of something about a plan you've got with someone else, you could say:
"Yeah, well as you can see, I'm in my boxers, I'm eating out of a box of cereal, I'm watching Maury, and my hair is all askew. And that's just a little lazy for 7 pm. Yeah, I taped Maury. No, not Tivo'd, what do you think I am, a high-paid hooker? I can't afford no Tivo. Look at this place!"
Then, you could pan your visaphone camera around the room, showing the results of your bohemian lifestyle.
But right now? I can tell you I have a meeting with the president of the United States, and that I'm very busy counting my mountains of gold coins.
And you'd be none the wiser.
I mean, it sure cleared up that old-timey story device where a telegram would arrive "just in time". It seems to me far more likely that a phone call would, so hazzah to the telephone for helping stories (or hindering? discuss).
But boo to the phone for helping us lie.
Man, it's easy to be deceptive over the phone. Maybe the Jetsons had it right: Visaphones. Then, you'd have to sort of look at the other person and tell them the truth... Instead of something about a plan you've got with someone else, you could say:
"Yeah, well as you can see, I'm in my boxers, I'm eating out of a box of cereal, I'm watching Maury, and my hair is all askew. And that's just a little lazy for 7 pm. Yeah, I taped Maury. No, not Tivo'd, what do you think I am, a high-paid hooker? I can't afford no Tivo. Look at this place!"
Then, you could pan your visaphone camera around the room, showing the results of your bohemian lifestyle.
But right now? I can tell you I have a meeting with the president of the United States, and that I'm very busy counting my mountains of gold coins.
And you'd be none the wiser.
Friday, May 05, 2006
I am the Dungeonmaster... No, seriously.
Got some free time? Play this:
http://www.homestarrunner.com/dman3.html
I passed with a perfect score. And it's totally fun.
Need help? Let me know....
Oh, and I have to say, my exploration of Punk Culture has lead me to one point so far:
Strangely, the anti-establishment/ anti-capitalist message has become blatantly blurred. To join the non-conformist, you have to conform... to the non-conformist ways.
Whoa.
And for those who didn't go to the P-Jam, I think I'm going to rock out a new game in the coming weeks. We Called it: URBAN LEGENDS!! I think it was one of the most hilarious games I've ever seen.
Essentially, you ask the audience for an urban legend (a possibly true event that probably wasn't true, but is somewhat plausible, and that didn't happen to you; you heard if from a friend or the internet etc). Then, we perform it.
Sounds simple, and it is. We did "The Exploding Cactus", in which the legend is, a couple brought a cactus back from Arizona with them, and it was filled with spider-eggs, which then "exploded" all over the living room. Spiders everywhere.
The key to what made the scene so hilarious when it was performed was the element of surprise. Chad was pretending to be a child (the couple threw a party for their son in our version of the story) swinging a bat at a pinata, and of course, we were all waiting in anticipation for him to hit the cactus.
However, the cactus simply exploded on it's own, and holy mother, it made me giggle. Because we all knew what was going to happen, and then, something way more simple did... And Cactus-man, you're awesome. Why can't I remember your name?
Song of the Day "Too Drunk to F**k" by the Dead Kennedys. Thanks, Lindsay, for your lending of music.
http://www.homestarrunner.com/dman3.html
I passed with a perfect score. And it's totally fun.
Need help? Let me know....
Oh, and I have to say, my exploration of Punk Culture has lead me to one point so far:
Strangely, the anti-establishment/ anti-capitalist message has become blatantly blurred. To join the non-conformist, you have to conform... to the non-conformist ways.
Whoa.
And for those who didn't go to the P-Jam, I think I'm going to rock out a new game in the coming weeks. We Called it: URBAN LEGENDS!! I think it was one of the most hilarious games I've ever seen.
Essentially, you ask the audience for an urban legend (a possibly true event that probably wasn't true, but is somewhat plausible, and that didn't happen to you; you heard if from a friend or the internet etc). Then, we perform it.
Sounds simple, and it is. We did "The Exploding Cactus", in which the legend is, a couple brought a cactus back from Arizona with them, and it was filled with spider-eggs, which then "exploded" all over the living room. Spiders everywhere.
The key to what made the scene so hilarious when it was performed was the element of surprise. Chad was pretending to be a child (the couple threw a party for their son in our version of the story) swinging a bat at a pinata, and of course, we were all waiting in anticipation for him to hit the cactus.
However, the cactus simply exploded on it's own, and holy mother, it made me giggle. Because we all knew what was going to happen, and then, something way more simple did... And Cactus-man, you're awesome. Why can't I remember your name?
Song of the Day "Too Drunk to F**k" by the Dead Kennedys. Thanks, Lindsay, for your lending of music.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
UPDATE: "Read My Hips" finally makes sense...
Just a quick line to say, I read over "Read My Hips", and I think it finally makes sense. You see, I should explain, I make all of these posts just before my shift starts at work (or during work, if the mood catches me...shhhh....)
So occasionally, A story about the sin of pride becomes a brief rant about swinging balls.
Sigh...
So, I guess the moral of the story is, don't rush things. Unless you're rescuing people from a burning building.
Or making minute rice.
Or if you're in an eating contest.
Or if you really need to go to the bathroom.
Or if someone is about to get hit by a car, and you have to push them out of your way.
Or if someone is killing you, and you need to get away.
I'm sure there are more examples.
Anywhoo, on to today's real post, about Calgary and stuff:
So occasionally, A story about the sin of pride becomes a brief rant about swinging balls.
Sigh...
So, I guess the moral of the story is, don't rush things. Unless you're rescuing people from a burning building.
Or making minute rice.
Or if you're in an eating contest.
Or if you really need to go to the bathroom.
Or if someone is about to get hit by a car, and you have to push them out of your way.
Or if someone is killing you, and you need to get away.
I'm sure there are more examples.
Anywhoo, on to today's real post, about Calgary and stuff:
The Calgary Flames, without the F.
Can't they do anything right?
Man, I was right all those years ago when I wrote a parody poem (I think in Grade 7) of " The Cremation of Sam McGee", which I called "Bill McCree".
Here is a small section (the only section I remember...)
"... Now Bill McCree was from Calgary
Where the Flames go to the playoffs and choke
Why he left his home
in the South to roam
Edmonton, easy! More dope to smoke.
He was wrong, he was told
But his house was already sold..."
And so on an so forth.
All Edmonton wanted to do was beat you, Calgary, in the second round of the playoffs. But you just couldn't step up to the plate, could you?
Song of the day: "Do You Know the Way to San Jose" by Burt Bacharach. Hehe.
Man, I was right all those years ago when I wrote a parody poem (I think in Grade 7) of " The Cremation of Sam McGee", which I called "Bill McCree".
Here is a small section (the only section I remember...)
"... Now Bill McCree was from Calgary
Where the Flames go to the playoffs and choke
Why he left his home
in the South to roam
Edmonton, easy! More dope to smoke.
He was wrong, he was told
But his house was already sold..."
And so on an so forth.
All Edmonton wanted to do was beat you, Calgary, in the second round of the playoffs. But you just couldn't step up to the plate, could you?
Song of the day: "Do You Know the Way to San Jose" by Burt Bacharach. Hehe.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Read My Hips
So, I was collecting money for the Level 2 workshop at the RFT space last night.
Just before I left, I said "Read My Blog!".
I then mentioned the plethora of hits I'd been getting (y'all know how I hate to brag).
And then I swung a mimed pair of gigantic testicles, clanking them together and doing a little dance on my way out of the room.
I don't get it (my sudden more-idiotic-than-usual behaviour)... Perhaps it was karma, making me pay for my deadly sin of pride.
But I can't blame karma for everything... can I?
Song of the Day: "Verbal Anime" by The Herbaliser. Because it makes about as much sense as I do... But hey, I'm having a freak-ass good time. Clanky-clank!
Just before I left, I said "Read My Blog!".
I then mentioned the plethora of hits I'd been getting (y'all know how I hate to brag).
And then I swung a mimed pair of gigantic testicles, clanking them together and doing a little dance on my way out of the room.
I don't get it (my sudden more-idiotic-than-usual behaviour)... Perhaps it was karma, making me pay for my deadly sin of pride.
But I can't blame karma for everything... can I?
Song of the Day: "Verbal Anime" by The Herbaliser. Because it makes about as much sense as I do... But hey, I'm having a freak-ass good time. Clanky-clank!
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Tiptoe through The Two Lips and the Stage
I'm a little concerned that I'm amplifying a little. You know, making a big deal of nothing.
I've been thinking (too much) lately about misinterpretation, and things said (and did) that didn't mean the same thing to one as it did to the other, or even the original delivery of something onstage that turned out to (universally) mean something that it never intended to mean.
And hey, sometimes it can be hilarious. You can accidentally suggest something onstage that makes you look witty as hell.
But ho, sometimes it can be dangerous. You can accidentally suggest something onstage that makes you look racist, sexist, gay-bashing, and in poor taste.
I'm not going to cite any specifics here. But I can't help but think about it. It's like "broken glass in my head" (John Coffey said that in the Green Mile, and I felt that line big time).
So, for those of you following along, you'll notice that I still haven't found a way that I'm satisfied with to fix this thing I've got with onstage choices. But I'm working on it.
Here is a thing though, that I would like to offer the host of the show or the audience when any one of us says something inappropriate; The Ring of Shame. Let's use it in situations where something like that happens. For a fake example:
BERTOLD: Well, it looks like it's just you and me, loyal sheep. Here, let's huddle for warmth. (BERTOLD mime-cuddles sheep, he accidentally looks like perhaps he's caressing the sheep's bottom... audience laughs tentatively).
HOST: (aside, to note-taker, whispering) Dude, is Bertold gonna launch into a Sheep-shagging joke? That's not only dumb, that's inappropriate. Let's shame'em.
NOTE-TAKER: Agreed. Shame will be awarded upon conclusion of the scene.
I find we use the ring often in only really obvious situations, or only when it would be comical to do so. Let's start using it again for inappropriateness, shall we?
Because sometimes, the actors involved didn't know that they did anything wrong. Then, we can get that out in the open, instead of feeling bad about it afterwards.
We've got it, we introduce it at the top of the show, let's use it.
Song of the Day: "Attitude" By The Inbreds. These guys were the original rock duo (drums and guitar), and from Canada no less. Meh, but I really don't know if they're the original. I just know they predate Meg and Jack by about 10 years.
I've been thinking (too much) lately about misinterpretation, and things said (and did) that didn't mean the same thing to one as it did to the other, or even the original delivery of something onstage that turned out to (universally) mean something that it never intended to mean.
And hey, sometimes it can be hilarious. You can accidentally suggest something onstage that makes you look witty as hell.
But ho, sometimes it can be dangerous. You can accidentally suggest something onstage that makes you look racist, sexist, gay-bashing, and in poor taste.
I'm not going to cite any specifics here. But I can't help but think about it. It's like "broken glass in my head" (John Coffey said that in the Green Mile, and I felt that line big time).
So, for those of you following along, you'll notice that I still haven't found a way that I'm satisfied with to fix this thing I've got with onstage choices. But I'm working on it.
Here is a thing though, that I would like to offer the host of the show or the audience when any one of us says something inappropriate; The Ring of Shame. Let's use it in situations where something like that happens. For a fake example:
BERTOLD: Well, it looks like it's just you and me, loyal sheep. Here, let's huddle for warmth. (BERTOLD mime-cuddles sheep, he accidentally looks like perhaps he's caressing the sheep's bottom... audience laughs tentatively).
HOST: (aside, to note-taker, whispering) Dude, is Bertold gonna launch into a Sheep-shagging joke? That's not only dumb, that's inappropriate. Let's shame'em.
NOTE-TAKER: Agreed. Shame will be awarded upon conclusion of the scene.
I find we use the ring often in only really obvious situations, or only when it would be comical to do so. Let's start using it again for inappropriateness, shall we?
Because sometimes, the actors involved didn't know that they did anything wrong. Then, we can get that out in the open, instead of feeling bad about it afterwards.
We've got it, we introduce it at the top of the show, let's use it.
Song of the Day: "Attitude" By The Inbreds. These guys were the original rock duo (drums and guitar), and from Canada no less. Meh, but I really don't know if they're the original. I just know they predate Meg and Jack by about 10 years.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
