I was fixing up my "office" in the house today... And the black cap from my lava lamp fell off the top.
I discovered underneath a bottle cap holds the liquid in, and it got me to thinking: Am I supposed to drink the 14-year-old liquid inside?
Should I heat it up first? I mean, the wax does need to be melty in order for me to guzzle, right?
And then it said it, right on the lid "Do Not Ingest".
Oh. Mystery solved.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Manifesting my What?
It might surprise some of you to know I actually went to school to become an actor. Maybe I got a little eccentric and full of myself sometimes. Here's my Bio from the program for 1998's "Viewer Discretion", done at Keyano Recital Theatre:
"Manifesting his exigency, Shawn E. Pallier cogitates his existence as an edictor after realizing he has performed as an immoral transvestite twice now at separate Keyano functions. Grasping at dignity, Shawn envisions a hell where maggots eternally digest his rotten body while a dove of death pecks at his heart. I love widdle fuzzy bunnies."
Clever, wasn't I? Clever at opening a thesaurus, no doubt.
"Manifesting his exigency, Shawn E. Pallier cogitates his existence as an edictor after realizing he has performed as an immoral transvestite twice now at separate Keyano functions. Grasping at dignity, Shawn envisions a hell where maggots eternally digest his rotten body while a dove of death pecks at his heart. I love widdle fuzzy bunnies."
Clever, wasn't I? Clever at opening a thesaurus, no doubt.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
On Childish Name-calling... and Billy Bob Dorkton.
Yeah, that's right Billy Bob. If I called you "Billy Bob Dorkton" or "Booby Blob Simpleton", I'd expect you to be pissed right off.
But Oscar-winning screenwriter, actor and director?
I know, I know, what a terrible thing to be called. And maybe Jian did say you'd been "sidetracked" by your Hollywood career, but always intended on music. WAY out of line, Jian... if you could hear my voice, you'd hear the sarcasm.
I've been called plenty of things throughout my endeavors in acting. I've been told I'm not a real actor, I'm not a real director, hell, I've been told I'm not a real writer. I've been told I can't dance, can't sing, and shouldn't "try so hard" and "be so desperate". I've had roommates tell me i "stole their dreams" from them when I was successful. I've been called an egomaniac, selfish, and lazy.
And I've never believed a word of it.
Oh sure, I was hurt. And maybe for a little while, I took a little look at myself. But I always liked what I saw, and tried to improve on the little things and not let anyone stand in my way.
But Billy Bob Thornton. I hope that we are all misunderstanding you, and that something really serious happened in your life that you're not willing to share. And you were waiting for the chance to let all your anger out on someone. Someone who said something, anything, that might be considered offensive to you.
In fact, I forgive you. I was going to rant about what a detached and socially inept void you were. How anyone like you could not realize how incredibly lucky someone like me might think you are, doing everything that you love, making a comfortable financial living, and understanding that the consequence is ironic... You don't deserve to be judged by people like me, but for some reason, the public lives vicariously through the famous, and this kind of thing, the way you treated Jian, is just not acceptable in the public's eye.
You know what? It's not because you're famous that I'm so sickened by the way you feel entitled to treat someone like that. It's that I don't like seeing human beings treat each other that way. I'm sorry that you have to be my example.
As you can tell, I'm having a hard time deciding how you make me feel. I really do hope that you aren't so deluded that you think anyone "deserves" to be treated any particular way because they inadvertently hurt your feelings.
A "magician" once pulled me aside and berated me for spoiling one of his "magical illusions". You want to know how I knew about it? I saw it on Camp Caribou, the public access children's show. CHILDREN'S SHOW. Billy Bob Thornton? To me, you are the "magician" who made his hand turn a 360, and then got mad at someone who knew how it was done... by the way Magic dude, I'm glad we don't bump into each other any more.
Oscar-winning screenwriter, actor and director? I've heard worse.
He could have called you the star of the re-make of "Bad News Bears", the voice of "Hounddog McDog", or he could have said you were on the Marquee of "Manure".
Now that's what I call name-calling.
But Oscar-winning screenwriter, actor and director?
I know, I know, what a terrible thing to be called. And maybe Jian did say you'd been "sidetracked" by your Hollywood career, but always intended on music. WAY out of line, Jian... if you could hear my voice, you'd hear the sarcasm.
I've been called plenty of things throughout my endeavors in acting. I've been told I'm not a real actor, I'm not a real director, hell, I've been told I'm not a real writer. I've been told I can't dance, can't sing, and shouldn't "try so hard" and "be so desperate". I've had roommates tell me i "stole their dreams" from them when I was successful. I've been called an egomaniac, selfish, and lazy.
And I've never believed a word of it.
Oh sure, I was hurt. And maybe for a little while, I took a little look at myself. But I always liked what I saw, and tried to improve on the little things and not let anyone stand in my way.
But Billy Bob Thornton. I hope that we are all misunderstanding you, and that something really serious happened in your life that you're not willing to share. And you were waiting for the chance to let all your anger out on someone. Someone who said something, anything, that might be considered offensive to you.
In fact, I forgive you. I was going to rant about what a detached and socially inept void you were. How anyone like you could not realize how incredibly lucky someone like me might think you are, doing everything that you love, making a comfortable financial living, and understanding that the consequence is ironic... You don't deserve to be judged by people like me, but for some reason, the public lives vicariously through the famous, and this kind of thing, the way you treated Jian, is just not acceptable in the public's eye.
You know what? It's not because you're famous that I'm so sickened by the way you feel entitled to treat someone like that. It's that I don't like seeing human beings treat each other that way. I'm sorry that you have to be my example.
As you can tell, I'm having a hard time deciding how you make me feel. I really do hope that you aren't so deluded that you think anyone "deserves" to be treated any particular way because they inadvertently hurt your feelings.
A "magician" once pulled me aside and berated me for spoiling one of his "magical illusions". You want to know how I knew about it? I saw it on Camp Caribou, the public access children's show. CHILDREN'S SHOW. Billy Bob Thornton? To me, you are the "magician" who made his hand turn a 360, and then got mad at someone who knew how it was done... by the way Magic dude, I'm glad we don't bump into each other any more.
Oscar-winning screenwriter, actor and director? I've heard worse.
He could have called you the star of the re-make of "Bad News Bears", the voice of "Hounddog McDog", or he could have said you were on the Marquee of "Manure".
Now that's what I call name-calling.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Creativity and Dreams. Married at last.
Sometimes, you just have to create a fake album cover.
Very cathartic.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
I'll just get up here on this Soapbox...
Sonic recently had a Survey, and they asked if I had anything to tell them.
I did.
Consider the level of total music obsession some of your listeners have. I've called in a couple of times to complete disdain from DJs my music requests when it's quite obvious Sonic is considering playing most of those artists (Flaming Lips (other than She Don't Use Jelly), Ben Folds, Matthew Sweet, etc) but aren't too sure how their primarily(? not sure if the following statement is true) 14-22 year old audience would react.
If you play Big Audio Dynamite and Jim Carroll, you must know we're out there. And I think you've lost contact with a lot of us.
Truth moment? I've heard several of my friends don't listen any more. They're tired of some of the over-played stuff that the Bear is playing already (Linkin Park, Three Days Grace, Disturbed, Papa Roach... already heard them before Sonic, would tune into 100.3 if I wanted to hear them). I do understand the quandary though; there is definitely a fan base that would be just as pissed if those bands airtimes were diminished, so I know you can't please everyone. I just had to get that off my chest.
My thought? I know people like me already have Farm Fresh, but I think we deserve another hour. A program that dedicated itself to the geekier side of Modern Rock. For people like me (I know I'm not alone) who own Mates of State albums, who think Vampire Weekend are the greatest thing since sliced bread, who lament the sudden absence or lack of Spoon, Flobots, The Weakerthans and The Dears, and who KNOW Modern Rock pioneers like Morrissey still make new albums, and are totally aware of the Adulty-Modern rock movements including artists like Sharon Jones, Beirut... blah blah blah.
That's what I had to tell you at Sonic. You can all roll your eyes collectively at this one. I know it was a little self-righteous and ranty, but I thought I'd throw it out there.
I did.
Consider the level of total music obsession some of your listeners have. I've called in a couple of times to complete disdain from DJs my music requests when it's quite obvious Sonic is considering playing most of those artists (Flaming Lips (other than She Don't Use Jelly), Ben Folds, Matthew Sweet, etc) but aren't too sure how their primarily(? not sure if the following statement is true) 14-22 year old audience would react.
If you play Big Audio Dynamite and Jim Carroll, you must know we're out there. And I think you've lost contact with a lot of us.
Truth moment? I've heard several of my friends don't listen any more. They're tired of some of the over-played stuff that the Bear is playing already (Linkin Park, Three Days Grace, Disturbed, Papa Roach... already heard them before Sonic, would tune into 100.3 if I wanted to hear them). I do understand the quandary though; there is definitely a fan base that would be just as pissed if those bands airtimes were diminished, so I know you can't please everyone. I just had to get that off my chest.
My thought? I know people like me already have Farm Fresh, but I think we deserve another hour. A program that dedicated itself to the geekier side of Modern Rock. For people like me (I know I'm not alone) who own Mates of State albums, who think Vampire Weekend are the greatest thing since sliced bread, who lament the sudden absence or lack of Spoon, Flobots, The Weakerthans and The Dears, and who KNOW Modern Rock pioneers like Morrissey still make new albums, and are totally aware of the Adulty-Modern rock movements including artists like Sharon Jones, Beirut... blah blah blah.
That's what I had to tell you at Sonic. You can all roll your eyes collectively at this one. I know it was a little self-righteous and ranty, but I thought I'd throw it out there.
Saturday, January 03, 2009
Your New Year's Resolution? See at Least one of these Every Month: (Yeah, Yeah. This is only part of January. Smartass.):
"The Play About The Baby" (Image Theatre)
Roxy Theatre (10708 124 Street)
Previews January 6 & 7, January 8-18, 2009
Tickets: 780-453-2440 or www.tixonthesquare.com
www.attheroxy.com
"10 Days of Madness Playwriting Festival" (University of Alberta)
TransAlta Arts Barns (24-hour contest: Dinwoodie on the U of A campus)
January 8-17, 2009
Information: Melissa at 780-718-6583
www.bookstore.ualberta.ca
"Monthly STORY CAFE: Laugh Like the Devil" (T.A.L.E.S. Edmonton)
Rosie's Bar and Grill (10475- 80 Ave)
January 8, 2009 @ 7 pm
Tickets: At the Door; Pay What You Will ($6 minimum)
www.ecn.ab.ca/~tales/
"Monthly TELLAROUND" (T.A.L.E.S. Edmonton)
The City Arts Centre (10943 84 Ave)
January 9, 2009 @ 8 pm
Tickets: At the Door; First time free. Subsequent admission $3.
www.ecn.ab.ca/~tales/
"Scorched"(Citadel Theatre)
Rice Theatre (Inside the Citadel: 9828 101A Avenue)
January 10 – February 1, 2009
Tickets: 780-425-1820 or:
www.citadeltheatre.com
"Die-Nasty! Season 18: The French Renovation" (Die-Nasty Improv)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
Every Monday at 8 PM
Tickets: 780-433-3399 (Mailbox #1) or 780-707-7964
www.die-nastyimprov.com
"Theatresports" (Rapid Fire Theatre)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
Every Friday at 11pm (RFT Primetime 8 pm on January 9)
Tickets: At the door or reserve ahead at 780-448-0695
www.rapidfiretheatre.com
"CHiMPROV" (Rapid Fire Theatre)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
Every Saturday except the last of the month at 11pm
Tickets: At the door or reserve ahead at 780-448-0695
www.rapidfiretheatre.com
"Oh Susanna!"
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
The last Saturday of the month at 11 pm
Tickets: 780-433-3399
www.varsconatheatre.org
"Peace, Love & Rock N' Roll: And The Beat Goes On!" (Mayfield Dinner Theatre)
Mayfield Inn and Suites (16615 109 Avenue)
November 7, 2008 to February 15, 2009
Tickets: 780-483-4051 or Toll Free 1-877-529-7829, or at: www.mayfieldtheatre.ca
"Pirates of the North Saskatchewan II" (Jubilations Dinner Theatre)
West Edmonton Mall (#2690, 8882 170 Street)
November 6, 2008 to January 24, 2009
Tickets: 780-484-2424 or Toll Free 1-877-214-2424
www.jubilations.ca
Roxy Theatre (10708 124 Street)
Previews January 6 & 7, January 8-18, 2009
Tickets: 780-453-2440 or www.tixonthesquare.com
www.attheroxy.com
"10 Days of Madness Playwriting Festival" (University of Alberta)
TransAlta Arts Barns (24-hour contest: Dinwoodie on the U of A campus)
January 8-17, 2009
Information: Melissa at 780-718-6583
www.bookstore.ualberta.ca
"Monthly STORY CAFE: Laugh Like the Devil" (T.A.L.E.S. Edmonton)
Rosie's Bar and Grill (10475- 80 Ave)
January 8, 2009 @ 7 pm
Tickets: At the Door; Pay What You Will ($6 minimum)
www.ecn.ab.ca/~tales/
"Monthly TELLAROUND" (T.A.L.E.S. Edmonton)
The City Arts Centre (10943 84 Ave)
January 9, 2009 @ 8 pm
Tickets: At the Door; First time free. Subsequent admission $3.
www.ecn.ab.ca/~tales/
"Scorched"(Citadel Theatre)
Rice Theatre (Inside the Citadel: 9828 101A Avenue)
January 10 – February 1, 2009
Tickets: 780-425-1820 or:
www.citadeltheatre.com
"Die-Nasty! Season 18: The French Renovation" (Die-Nasty Improv)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
Every Monday at 8 PM
Tickets: 780-433-3399 (Mailbox #1) or 780-707-7964
www.die-nastyimprov.com
"Theatresports" (Rapid Fire Theatre)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
Every Friday at 11pm (RFT Primetime 8 pm on January 9)
Tickets: At the door or reserve ahead at 780-448-0695
www.rapidfiretheatre.com
"CHiMPROV" (Rapid Fire Theatre)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
Every Saturday except the last of the month at 11pm
Tickets: At the door or reserve ahead at 780-448-0695
www.rapidfiretheatre.com
"Oh Susanna!"
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
The last Saturday of the month at 11 pm
Tickets: 780-433-3399
www.varsconatheatre.org
"Peace, Love & Rock N' Roll: And The Beat Goes On!" (Mayfield Dinner Theatre)
Mayfield Inn and Suites (16615 109 Avenue)
November 7, 2008 to February 15, 2009
Tickets: 780-483-4051 or Toll Free 1-877-529-7829, or at: www.mayfieldtheatre.ca
"Pirates of the North Saskatchewan II" (Jubilations Dinner Theatre)
West Edmonton Mall (#2690, 8882 170 Street)
November 6, 2008 to January 24, 2009
Tickets: 780-484-2424 or Toll Free 1-877-214-2424
www.jubilations.ca
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