I just realized something today.
I've been saying something totally wrong without even thinking about it for as long as I can remember.
I caught myself saying, "Hindsight is 50/50..."
Yeah. That's not so right. Actually, that's totally wrong. But it brought me to my senses about thinking before saying things. Not overthinking, but just thinking a little.
Obey impulse. Just don't be stupid. Meditate on that sonofabitch for a bit.
And take another drag.
Scene.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Sunday, August 27, 2006
And I thought Fifi was just a name for a Poodle...
I went and saw "Stealing Venus".
I liked it.
It proved to me a few things I wasn't too sure of any more. My faith has been restored in my theory that an energetic performance can make for an engaging story. Sometimes, I worry that my own ideas for shows will fall flat because they involve too much chutzpah, pizzazz, and all-around rinky-tinkyness. I thought that energy might be a little old-fashioned.
This man did energy with charisma and loads of charm.
Most importantly, he told stories. True, the way he started his stories were a little base (You wanna know my story? My story?) but sometimes, that's okay.
I give it 3.5 Jazz Hands out of 5.
Then, I saw Montag, which proved to me the power of music. They kept using bizarre, distant soundclip music, trance-like in the way it repeated. It made simple stories seem abstract, and the story of lovers meeting seem ominous and dangerous. Cool.
I give it 4 Picassos out of 5. Renee drank a whole bottle of wine onstage in two swigs. I might have given it 5 had he spewed.
O Hi Yo Fringe, I spent a lot of money on you. With your Green Onion Cakes, Port Satay (which was un-satay-sfactory), Funky Pickle Pizza, Double lemon Chill, Chicken Bhoona, Scorpion Girl (how do I know her?), Balloon-swallowing man with a penis fixation, Deep fried Chocolate bars, and budding performers who either fall on their ass or rise to the top.
Amen.
I liked it.
It proved to me a few things I wasn't too sure of any more. My faith has been restored in my theory that an energetic performance can make for an engaging story. Sometimes, I worry that my own ideas for shows will fall flat because they involve too much chutzpah, pizzazz, and all-around rinky-tinkyness. I thought that energy might be a little old-fashioned.
This man did energy with charisma and loads of charm.
Most importantly, he told stories. True, the way he started his stories were a little base (You wanna know my story? My story?) but sometimes, that's okay.
I give it 3.5 Jazz Hands out of 5.
Then, I saw Montag, which proved to me the power of music. They kept using bizarre, distant soundclip music, trance-like in the way it repeated. It made simple stories seem abstract, and the story of lovers meeting seem ominous and dangerous. Cool.
I give it 4 Picassos out of 5. Renee drank a whole bottle of wine onstage in two swigs. I might have given it 5 had he spewed.
O Hi Yo Fringe, I spent a lot of money on you. With your Green Onion Cakes, Port Satay (which was un-satay-sfactory), Funky Pickle Pizza, Double lemon Chill, Chicken Bhoona, Scorpion Girl (how do I know her?), Balloon-swallowing man with a penis fixation, Deep fried Chocolate bars, and budding performers who either fall on their ass or rise to the top.
Amen.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRico!!
A gentlemen has performed outside of the front of Artifacts Trading Company every Fringe for the past 5 years.
For most of us, it's felt like a few years more.
This year, he offers up an interesting mix of pan flute music, including his versions of:
- House of the Rising Sun
- Living La Vida Loca
- Amazing Grace
- Unchained Melody
- Let it Be
- Chiquitita
- Fernando (two ABBA songs! GOODY!!!)
- The Lion Sleeps Tonight
... and here comes the kickers!
- Lady in Red
- Hotel California
- Candle in the Wind
And many, many, many, many, many more.
Don't cry for me, I'm already dead.
Wait, did I say dead? I meant deaf. I stabbed my own ear drums out this morning.
For most of us, it's felt like a few years more.
This year, he offers up an interesting mix of pan flute music, including his versions of:
- House of the Rising Sun
- Living La Vida Loca
- Amazing Grace
- Unchained Melody
- Let it Be
- Chiquitita
- Fernando (two ABBA songs! GOODY!!!)
- The Lion Sleeps Tonight
... and here comes the kickers!
- Lady in Red
- Hotel California
- Candle in the Wind
And many, many, many, many, many more.
Don't cry for me, I'm already dead.
Wait, did I say dead? I meant deaf. I stabbed my own ear drums out this morning.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Expectations that Grate
For the last 4 years, my view of "acceptable" theatre has become a lot more... keen. Discerning, perceptive, whatever you call it.
All I'm saying is that I want certain things from a theatre experience now. I want a clear story. I want an intelligent or interesting narrative. I want good acting. GOOD ACTING!! I want a satisfactory ending. I want an original.
I will spare the identity of the actors and the plays that they are in at the Fringe that I didn't really enjoy. I have nothing against the people and their productions, because most folk will enjoy them and all the reviews for their work has been four stars and such.
However, when I see actors who just really aren't into their show (it's a comedy, waka waka! Nobody cares if we care, as long as we're funny! Hiyo!), a story that's ripped off from days of yore and made "banana phone" silly, endless references to "politics" (yes, we know George Dubya is destroying the planet, and that's hilarious and not overdone at all) and a mumbly, wandering, half-baked storytelling technique, it just makes me sad.
But love is in the air for the show I don't like, so this shall be the only, slightly cryptic, maybe not cryptic enough criticism of it that will be made.
But sometimes, even a bad story or an iffy overall production can be saved by sincerely zealous cast that takes their work seriously. Or at least it would allow me to walk out after a show thinking "that just didn't speak to me" instead of "that was uninspiring".
But why are you reading this? Shouldn't you be out Fringing?...
Uh, PS- Thanks for reading.
All I'm saying is that I want certain things from a theatre experience now. I want a clear story. I want an intelligent or interesting narrative. I want good acting. GOOD ACTING!! I want a satisfactory ending. I want an original.
I will spare the identity of the actors and the plays that they are in at the Fringe that I didn't really enjoy. I have nothing against the people and their productions, because most folk will enjoy them and all the reviews for their work has been four stars and such.
However, when I see actors who just really aren't into their show (it's a comedy, waka waka! Nobody cares if we care, as long as we're funny! Hiyo!), a story that's ripped off from days of yore and made "banana phone" silly, endless references to "politics" (yes, we know George Dubya is destroying the planet, and that's hilarious and not overdone at all) and a mumbly, wandering, half-baked storytelling technique, it just makes me sad.
But love is in the air for the show I don't like, so this shall be the only, slightly cryptic, maybe not cryptic enough criticism of it that will be made.
But sometimes, even a bad story or an iffy overall production can be saved by sincerely zealous cast that takes their work seriously. Or at least it would allow me to walk out after a show thinking "that just didn't speak to me" instead of "that was uninspiring".
But why are you reading this? Shouldn't you be out Fringing?...
Uh, PS- Thanks for reading.
Monday, August 21, 2006
So Two Shawns walk into a Bar...
And they have a little blogscussion about impro(v).
A little background: In June, I said the following...
"On an improv-related note, I read recently on an expert's improv blog that "most companies would never start their show with a 10-minute rookie round".
Well, I guess we're not like most companies... I don't really like the fact that he referred to the round as being the home of the "weakest" players, because I think we prove consistently that it can be the home of the most no-holds-barred, high-energy, something-else-that-can-be-separated-by-hyphens improv this side of the nuthouse."
I hope Shawn doesn't mind if I reprint his response from my June 8th post called "Dare to be the Same". I'm only doing it because I don't think anybody would see it otherwise, due to how long ago the post was made. Despite the age of the post, the comment is actually only from yesterday...
I'll just cut and paste so I don't change any of his words:
"Hey Shawn,Thanks for reading my notes about impro. I was just working with a couple of the guys from Rapid Fire while we were in Washington. Just wanted to leave a little response to your comments if I may,
Where I said "most companies would never start their show with a 10-minute rookie round". and you said that you aren't like most companies, GOOD FOR YOU! That's great to hear. MOST companies around the world that I've been to (maybe 20 or 30 by now) have this preoccupation with what they see as "SUCCESS". They think they must always make the audience laugh, that they must always weight the show with their 'quickest' and 'strongest' players BUT I think they are missing the point.
When Keith Johnstone was here at the Loose Moose and we were focused on theatresports, he always said how important it was for the feel of the show and the growth of the company to have the opening "10 minute game" of our weaker/rooky players. So Good on ya for embracing a healthier attitude than most companies.
NOW - I just have to comment as well on the terminology of "weaker" players. The term is probably not the best (Rooky is probably a better term)and it was humorous that you called it the "most no-holds-barred, high-energy, something-else-that-can-be-separated-by-hyphens improv."
There are great strengths to "NEWER" improvisers... ("Newbies, Green, beginning level, uh... young in the process improvisers) There is often a great fearlessness that senior performers admire and great passion. But... they are often 'weaker' generally or they probably would be holding down a bigger part of the show. I've seen BRILLIANT scenes done by rooky improvisers BUT the consistency isn't there yet and more often it is a weaker quality (Why aren't rooky players doing the entire show?.
I have my Weak days, you have your weak days BUT having good, consistent technique, presence and content makes us over-all stronger improvisers.
Musn't let the ego get in the way of our work. If we are weaker, so be it. It gives us somewhere to go.
In the early days, Keith and then artistic associate Dennis Cahill would create different levels of performers A - B - C and sometimes lower level performers.
Often the people who were publicly grouped as C or D players would cave in and leave the theatre with crushed egos BUT more often they would rise up and WORK WORK WORK until they could kick the ass of any 'A' player. It was a bad system and didn't last long but showed how we are affected by our 'ego' and how we HATE being categorized as "weaker" even if we were.
Strong, Weak... doesn't really matter. Just do the work to the best of your ability and trust that the artistic directors of theatre companies are doing their job and putting you into a spot in the show that supports your growth and most of all, the show itself.
All the best,
Shawn(probably will change the blog to reflect a better terminology)"
12:28 AM, August 20, 2006
I hope I didn't offend... and I'm flattered to hear from him. For the record, Shawn Kinley is a respected member of the theatre with loads of experience in mime, mask, and physical theatre. I wish him decades more of success.
Link of the Day: www.shawnkinley.com
A little background: In June, I said the following...
"On an improv-related note, I read recently on an expert's improv blog that "most companies would never start their show with a 10-minute rookie round".
Well, I guess we're not like most companies... I don't really like the fact that he referred to the round as being the home of the "weakest" players, because I think we prove consistently that it can be the home of the most no-holds-barred, high-energy, something-else-that-can-be-separated-by-hyphens improv this side of the nuthouse."
I hope Shawn doesn't mind if I reprint his response from my June 8th post called "Dare to be the Same". I'm only doing it because I don't think anybody would see it otherwise, due to how long ago the post was made. Despite the age of the post, the comment is actually only from yesterday...
I'll just cut and paste so I don't change any of his words:
"Hey Shawn,Thanks for reading my notes about impro. I was just working with a couple of the guys from Rapid Fire while we were in Washington. Just wanted to leave a little response to your comments if I may,
Where I said "most companies would never start their show with a 10-minute rookie round". and you said that you aren't like most companies, GOOD FOR YOU! That's great to hear. MOST companies around the world that I've been to (maybe 20 or 30 by now) have this preoccupation with what they see as "SUCCESS". They think they must always make the audience laugh, that they must always weight the show with their 'quickest' and 'strongest' players BUT I think they are missing the point.
When Keith Johnstone was here at the Loose Moose and we were focused on theatresports, he always said how important it was for the feel of the show and the growth of the company to have the opening "10 minute game" of our weaker/rooky players. So Good on ya for embracing a healthier attitude than most companies.
NOW - I just have to comment as well on the terminology of "weaker" players. The term is probably not the best (Rooky is probably a better term)and it was humorous that you called it the "most no-holds-barred, high-energy, something-else-that-can-be-separated-by-hyphens improv."
There are great strengths to "NEWER" improvisers... ("Newbies, Green, beginning level, uh... young in the process improvisers) There is often a great fearlessness that senior performers admire and great passion. But... they are often 'weaker' generally or they probably would be holding down a bigger part of the show. I've seen BRILLIANT scenes done by rooky improvisers BUT the consistency isn't there yet and more often it is a weaker quality (Why aren't rooky players doing the entire show?.
I have my Weak days, you have your weak days BUT having good, consistent technique, presence and content makes us over-all stronger improvisers.
Musn't let the ego get in the way of our work. If we are weaker, so be it. It gives us somewhere to go.
In the early days, Keith and then artistic associate Dennis Cahill would create different levels of performers A - B - C and sometimes lower level performers.
Often the people who were publicly grouped as C or D players would cave in and leave the theatre with crushed egos BUT more often they would rise up and WORK WORK WORK until they could kick the ass of any 'A' player. It was a bad system and didn't last long but showed how we are affected by our 'ego' and how we HATE being categorized as "weaker" even if we were.
Strong, Weak... doesn't really matter. Just do the work to the best of your ability and trust that the artistic directors of theatre companies are doing their job and putting you into a spot in the show that supports your growth and most of all, the show itself.
All the best,
Shawn(probably will change the blog to reflect a better terminology)"
12:28 AM, August 20, 2006
I hope I didn't offend... and I'm flattered to hear from him. For the record, Shawn Kinley is a respected member of the theatre with loads of experience in mime, mask, and physical theatre. I wish him decades more of success.
Link of the Day: www.shawnkinley.com
Thursday, August 17, 2006
It's time to Play the Music, It's Time to Light the Lights
Alright, the FRINGE is HERE!!!. Go see this stuff.
SCRATCH (That's Arlen and Kevin, folks).
Stage 7 (Chianti Stage... confusing because it's at Royal Canadian Legion, Strathcona: 10416 - 81 Avenue... ah, sponsorship)
Tickets Everyone: $10.00 Advance Tickets:$14.00
Upcoming Shows:
Thursday, August 17, 8:00 pm
Saturday, August 19, 1:45 pm
Wednesday, August 23, 2:30 pm
Thursday, August 24, 12:00 pm
Friday, August 25, 11:30 pm
Saturday, August 26, 6:15 pm
Sunday, August 27, 8:15 pm
THEATRESPORTS
BYOV J (Which is the Iron Horse...8101 Gateway Blvd, that train-stationy building)
Tickets General: $10.00 RFT members (must show card): $8.00
Advance Tickets: $14.00
Upcoming Shows:
Friday, August 18, 7:15 pm
Sunday, August 20, 8:45 pm
Monday, August 21, 10:00 pm
Tuesday, August 22, 10:00 pm
Wednesday, August 23, 8:45 pm
Thursday, August 24, 7:00 pm
Friday, August 25, 7:00 pm
Saturday, August 26, 5:30 pm
Sunday, August 27, 7:00 pm
DIE-NASTY: The Legendary Live Improvised Soap Opera
Stage 8, the Coca-Cola Stage... You all know it better as The Varscona Theatre: 10329 -83 Avenue.
Tickets General: $10.00 Fringe Artists with Badges: $0
Advance Tickets:$14.00
Night of Friday, August 18, 12:15 am
Night of Saturday, August 19, 12:15 am
Night of Sunday, August 20, 12:15 am
Night of Monday, August 21, 12:15 am
Night of Tuesday, August 22, 12:15 am
Night of Wednesday, August 23, 12:15 am
Night of Thursday, August 24, 12:15 am
Night of Friday, August 25, 12:15 am
Night of Saturday, August 26, 12:15 am
MONTAG (do not miss, all the way from Austria! Jacob!)
Stage 13 (Not to be confused with the rock concert) (Brian Paisley Stage) Planet ZE Design Centre, 10055 - 80 Avenue
Tickets: $10.00 Students/Austrians: $8.00
Advance Tickets: $14.00
Upcoming Shows:
Thursday, August 17, 8:00 pm
Friday, August 18, 3:30 pm
Monday, August 21, 5:00 pm
Tuesday, August 22, 2:00 pm
Wednesday, August 23, 11:30 pm
Friday, August 25, 11:30 pm
Saturday, August 26, 7:30 pm
Saturday Morning Pajama Jam
BYOV J (Iron Horse: 8101 Gateway Blvd)
Tickets Everyone: $10.00
Advance Tickets: $14.00
Upcoming Shows:
Saturday, August 19, 5:30 pm
Monday, August 21, 8:45 pm
Tuesday, August 22, 7:00 pm
Wednesday, August 23, 10:15 pm
Thursday, August 24, 8:30 pm
Friday, August 25, 5:30 pm
Sunday, August 27, 5:45 pm
Sex, CRUMBS & Rock'n'Roll
BYOV J (Iron Horse: 8101 Gateway Blvd)
Tickets Regular: $10.00 Students: $8.00
Advance Tickets:$14.00
Upcoming Shows:
Friday, August 18, 5:30 pm
Saturday, August 19, 7:00 pm
Sunday, August 20, 7:00 pm
Monday, August 21, 7:00 pm
Tuesday, August 22, 8:15 pm
Wednesday, August 23, 7:00 pm
Thursday, August 24, 10:00 pm
Saturday, August 26, 7:00 pm
Sunday, August 27, 4:00 pm
Enjoy yerselves.
Song of the Day: "2nd Gun" by Volcano, I'm Still Excited!! Really, an interesting trio. Kind of like an American Hot Hot Heat, if you will. Listen: www.myspace.com/ladylovinlynx
Link of the Day: http://www.fringetheatreadventures.ca/
You don't think I seriously handwrote all those schedules out? Heck no! Directly copied from the official site.
Playwright of the Day: Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
- plays attempted to force society to examine its own hypocrisy
- known for his witty, insightful, and sharp commentaries on upper-class British society
- work is similar to most Victorian farces and comedies (only better), melodramatic
- plays include "The Importance of Being Earnest", "Salomé", and "A Woman of No Importance".
Most of my wording is taken from the Bedford Introduction to Drama this time.
SCRATCH (That's Arlen and Kevin, folks).
Stage 7 (Chianti Stage... confusing because it's at Royal Canadian Legion, Strathcona: 10416 - 81 Avenue... ah, sponsorship)
Tickets Everyone: $10.00 Advance Tickets:$14.00
Upcoming Shows:
Thursday, August 17, 8:00 pm
Saturday, August 19, 1:45 pm
Wednesday, August 23, 2:30 pm
Thursday, August 24, 12:00 pm
Friday, August 25, 11:30 pm
Saturday, August 26, 6:15 pm
Sunday, August 27, 8:15 pm
THEATRESPORTS
BYOV J (Which is the Iron Horse...8101 Gateway Blvd, that train-stationy building)
Tickets General: $10.00 RFT members (must show card): $8.00
Advance Tickets: $14.00
Upcoming Shows:
Friday, August 18, 7:15 pm
Sunday, August 20, 8:45 pm
Monday, August 21, 10:00 pm
Tuesday, August 22, 10:00 pm
Wednesday, August 23, 8:45 pm
Thursday, August 24, 7:00 pm
Friday, August 25, 7:00 pm
Saturday, August 26, 5:30 pm
Sunday, August 27, 7:00 pm
DIE-NASTY: The Legendary Live Improvised Soap Opera
Stage 8, the Coca-Cola Stage... You all know it better as The Varscona Theatre: 10329 -83 Avenue.
Tickets General: $10.00 Fringe Artists with Badges: $0
Advance Tickets:$14.00
Night of Friday, August 18, 12:15 am
Night of Saturday, August 19, 12:15 am
Night of Sunday, August 20, 12:15 am
Night of Monday, August 21, 12:15 am
Night of Tuesday, August 22, 12:15 am
Night of Wednesday, August 23, 12:15 am
Night of Thursday, August 24, 12:15 am
Night of Friday, August 25, 12:15 am
Night of Saturday, August 26, 12:15 am
MONTAG (do not miss, all the way from Austria! Jacob!)
Stage 13 (Not to be confused with the rock concert) (Brian Paisley Stage) Planet ZE Design Centre, 10055 - 80 Avenue
Tickets: $10.00 Students/Austrians: $8.00
Advance Tickets: $14.00
Upcoming Shows:
Thursday, August 17, 8:00 pm
Friday, August 18, 3:30 pm
Monday, August 21, 5:00 pm
Tuesday, August 22, 2:00 pm
Wednesday, August 23, 11:30 pm
Friday, August 25, 11:30 pm
Saturday, August 26, 7:30 pm
Saturday Morning Pajama Jam
BYOV J (Iron Horse: 8101 Gateway Blvd)
Tickets Everyone: $10.00
Advance Tickets: $14.00
Upcoming Shows:
Saturday, August 19, 5:30 pm
Monday, August 21, 8:45 pm
Tuesday, August 22, 7:00 pm
Wednesday, August 23, 10:15 pm
Thursday, August 24, 8:30 pm
Friday, August 25, 5:30 pm
Sunday, August 27, 5:45 pm
Sex, CRUMBS & Rock'n'Roll
BYOV J (Iron Horse: 8101 Gateway Blvd)
Tickets Regular: $10.00 Students: $8.00
Advance Tickets:$14.00
Upcoming Shows:
Friday, August 18, 5:30 pm
Saturday, August 19, 7:00 pm
Sunday, August 20, 7:00 pm
Monday, August 21, 7:00 pm
Tuesday, August 22, 8:15 pm
Wednesday, August 23, 7:00 pm
Thursday, August 24, 10:00 pm
Saturday, August 26, 7:00 pm
Sunday, August 27, 4:00 pm
Enjoy yerselves.
Song of the Day: "2nd Gun" by Volcano, I'm Still Excited!! Really, an interesting trio. Kind of like an American Hot Hot Heat, if you will. Listen: www.myspace.com/ladylovinlynx
Link of the Day: http://www.fringetheatreadventures.ca/
You don't think I seriously handwrote all those schedules out? Heck no! Directly copied from the official site.
Playwright of the Day: Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
- plays attempted to force society to examine its own hypocrisy
- known for his witty, insightful, and sharp commentaries on upper-class British society
- work is similar to most Victorian farces and comedies (only better), melodramatic
- plays include "The Importance of Being Earnest", "Salomé", and "A Woman of No Importance".
Most of my wording is taken from the Bedford Introduction to Drama this time.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Spontaneity: In Doses
In beginner improv, we seem to preach spontaneity.
But spontaneity can be dangerous. Let me explain.
So I'm standing in the bathroom. I'm looking at my chest in the mirror. I say to myself:
Damn. That's one long nipple hair.
Now I know nipple hair can't possibly be sexy. Especially wild, untamed nipple hair. I think to myself, I gotta cut this. That just doesn't look right. I look in the drawer for my electric razor. Oh yeah, I haven't unpacked that since the wedding I went to on Saturday... I'm getting a nasty pervo moustache from not shaving...
But spontaneity can be dangerous. Let me explain.
So I'm standing in the bathroom. I'm looking at my chest in the mirror. I say to myself:
Damn. That's one long nipple hair.
Now I know nipple hair can't possibly be sexy. Especially wild, untamed nipple hair. I think to myself, I gotta cut this. That just doesn't look right. I look in the drawer for my electric razor. Oh yeah, I haven't unpacked that since the wedding I went to on Saturday... I'm getting a nasty pervo moustache from not shaving...
So anyway, I look for anything. Scissors, something that cuts. Anything!
And then I see the lighter.
Someone who's never done improv would not consider burning their nipple hair off instead of cutting it. I mean, that's quite possibly the stupidest idea I've ever had. But I had it. It was my idea.
Luckily, that little voice in the back of my head, you know, the one that says stuff like "Now now. Stop staring at that guy's hook hand" or "Whoa back, sonny. Don't you start a fight with that drag queen", that little voice kicked in. It said "Hey there, sport. Fire Bad."
Indeed.
PS-- Sorry to Arlen and Kevin. I totally didn't know you guys were going on "Hey Ma! I'm on Sonic!". I submitted the first Generalizer Sampler last week as a playlist, and Adam said "I'm on the pile", which I guess means the good pile, not the bad pile... I hope you don't think me the copy cat.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Why Shawn Hates Peaches
Yesterday, I received an e-mail from a good friend of mine; Jeremy.
We met when a young, spritely me made his way up to Fort McMurray to explore Keyano College. They had come to my High School to brag about their awesome theatre, so I signed up for their "student for the day" program.
Up I went, with a "gee willikers" expression on my face and a Transformer backpack on my back... No wait, that was the first day of kindergarten...
Up I went, with a "holy shit" expression on my face and a Transformer backpack on my back. I arrived at the Purple Palace... You heard me. Purple Palace. That's what they call their student residence up there, and with good reason. There I met Jeremy. He was my "roommate for the day". Little did I know that situation would continue for a year.
To make a long story short, Jeremy introduced me to the wonderful world of dorm life, drinking, and hurting each other for sport (by they way, the Coulter Ankle Lock is when he attempts to separate my foot from my leg... ah, good times). Oh yeah, and with drinking came Peach Schnapps...
One night, 2 years after he and I had moved on to tackle our Acting careers (Jeremy has been paid to do theatre about 10 times more than me... I'll catch up), we decided to drink and play violent video games for 8 hours straight. Jeremy has a knack for making me think that I'm invincible when I'm with him, and he knows I have a competitive spirit, so I thought if I can't beat him at theatre, I can beat him at alcoholism!
So there I was, with a full bottle of fruit brandy and manliness to prove.
I drank that sucker. I kicked it's ass within 2 hours.
And then, it kicked my ass for 18 hours.
Peach only tastes good going down, and ruins your desire for it for life if you ever get sick from it. I remember mixing it with some Butterscotch Schnapps to soften the blow. That's where drunk logic gets you.
Oh Jeremy, I know it wasn't just you that made me hate Peaches. It was also those coolers I drank at dorm parties, you know, those 2-litre plastic bottles that look ever-so-classy. And it was partially the performing artist/"musician" Peaches, who (sorry Peaches fans) has a knack for being untalented and filthy. Or it could be my hamster from Elementary school named Peaches, who died horribly of some sort of bowel disease.
It's not your fault, Jeremy. My hatred of Peaches is a rich tapestry.
We met when a young, spritely me made his way up to Fort McMurray to explore Keyano College. They had come to my High School to brag about their awesome theatre, so I signed up for their "student for the day" program.
Up I went, with a "gee willikers" expression on my face and a Transformer backpack on my back... No wait, that was the first day of kindergarten...
Up I went, with a "holy shit" expression on my face and a Transformer backpack on my back. I arrived at the Purple Palace... You heard me. Purple Palace. That's what they call their student residence up there, and with good reason. There I met Jeremy. He was my "roommate for the day". Little did I know that situation would continue for a year.
To make a long story short, Jeremy introduced me to the wonderful world of dorm life, drinking, and hurting each other for sport (by they way, the Coulter Ankle Lock is when he attempts to separate my foot from my leg... ah, good times). Oh yeah, and with drinking came Peach Schnapps...
One night, 2 years after he and I had moved on to tackle our Acting careers (Jeremy has been paid to do theatre about 10 times more than me... I'll catch up), we decided to drink and play violent video games for 8 hours straight. Jeremy has a knack for making me think that I'm invincible when I'm with him, and he knows I have a competitive spirit, so I thought if I can't beat him at theatre, I can beat him at alcoholism!
So there I was, with a full bottle of fruit brandy and manliness to prove.
I drank that sucker. I kicked it's ass within 2 hours.
And then, it kicked my ass for 18 hours.
Peach only tastes good going down, and ruins your desire for it for life if you ever get sick from it. I remember mixing it with some Butterscotch Schnapps to soften the blow. That's where drunk logic gets you.
Oh Jeremy, I know it wasn't just you that made me hate Peaches. It was also those coolers I drank at dorm parties, you know, those 2-litre plastic bottles that look ever-so-classy. And it was partially the performing artist/"musician" Peaches, who (sorry Peaches fans) has a knack for being untalented and filthy. Or it could be my hamster from Elementary school named Peaches, who died horribly of some sort of bowel disease.
It's not your fault, Jeremy. My hatred of Peaches is a rich tapestry.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Getting Over Being Right... And not Wanting to Be
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Monday, August 07, 2006
The Crumbling of Social Walls
Sometimes, I feel like the David Suzuki of the Urban Jungle.
I've been fascinated by people since I was very young. The way they move, look, and interact. I divided them into social classes; some might call these "cliques". I always make sure I know where I fit among these misunderstood creatures.
But now, the world has changed.
It all started to occur to me when I went into the local Scottish Cuisine Foodatorium, or McDonald's, as the natives call it. I noticed an intriguing member of the species that I immmediately began to classify.
Lanky.
Dressed in Bohemian plain shirt and skirt combo; Shirt beige, skirt black.
Wearing slipper-type shoes with flower accent; purely for fashion's sake. I wouldn't want to be wearing such footwear if I was walking around on Whyte Avenue... 1/8 of a millimeter of foam between me and that sidewalk?
Lisa Loebesque Glasses.
I placed this subject into the following category: "Geekus Chicus". The nerd with flair. The girl who reads books and can engage in serious conversations about both Dungeons and Dragons and Tom Waits. A girl who listens to the University radio station. A girl who has an apartment nearby with her platonic male friend.
Geekus Chicus.
But what's this? I hear a conversation she's having with her friends. And it goes a little something like this; Hit it:
"So they're going to meet us at the f*ckin' Thirsty Turtle. F*ck. Remember those f*ckin clowns on swings I used to have? F*ckin' Miranda has the same f*ckin' ones, and she has f*ckin' marionettes hanging from her f*ckin' ceiling. F*ck! I can't sleep in that f*ckin' room! Clowns creep the f*ckin' sh*t out of me!! Holy f*ck!"
Oh snap. My classification and categorization was completely off.
The times, they have changed. Battle lines are blurred in the new social circles and behaviour typical of one social circle have bled into many others. Is Geekus Chicus becoming just another Snobbus Popularis? Or has Snobbus Popularis changed it's appearance so drastically, it makes it impossible to tell one from the other?
Fascinating.
I've been fascinated by people since I was very young. The way they move, look, and interact. I divided them into social classes; some might call these "cliques". I always make sure I know where I fit among these misunderstood creatures.
But now, the world has changed.
It all started to occur to me when I went into the local Scottish Cuisine Foodatorium, or McDonald's, as the natives call it. I noticed an intriguing member of the species that I immmediately began to classify.
Lanky.
Dressed in Bohemian plain shirt and skirt combo; Shirt beige, skirt black.
Wearing slipper-type shoes with flower accent; purely for fashion's sake. I wouldn't want to be wearing such footwear if I was walking around on Whyte Avenue... 1/8 of a millimeter of foam between me and that sidewalk?
Lisa Loebesque Glasses.
I placed this subject into the following category: "Geekus Chicus". The nerd with flair. The girl who reads books and can engage in serious conversations about both Dungeons and Dragons and Tom Waits. A girl who listens to the University radio station. A girl who has an apartment nearby with her platonic male friend.
Geekus Chicus.
But what's this? I hear a conversation she's having with her friends. And it goes a little something like this; Hit it:
"So they're going to meet us at the f*ckin' Thirsty Turtle. F*ck. Remember those f*ckin clowns on swings I used to have? F*ckin' Miranda has the same f*ckin' ones, and she has f*ckin' marionettes hanging from her f*ckin' ceiling. F*ck! I can't sleep in that f*ckin' room! Clowns creep the f*ckin' sh*t out of me!! Holy f*ck!"
Oh snap. My classification and categorization was completely off.
The times, they have changed. Battle lines are blurred in the new social circles and behaviour typical of one social circle have bled into many others. Is Geekus Chicus becoming just another Snobbus Popularis? Or has Snobbus Popularis changed it's appearance so drastically, it makes it impossible to tell one from the other?
Fascinating.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Maestro, Please Kill Me... Putu-may-out of my Misery.
So, most of you have figured out by now I love music.
But there's one CD that's got to go. Either it goes, or I go. Seriously.
At work (Artifacts Trading Co), we're having a massive sale of sorts. During this time, the owners of the store get mighty picky about what music is appropriate. You know, we don't want the customers moshing or raising da proverbial roof.
So it has come to pass that a compilation by the good folks at "Putumayo" (the world music company) called "Asian Groove" is practically the only CD we play at work now.
This was absolutely fine for the first little while. Hell, one of the tracks is remixed by Dan the Automator of Gorillaz fame. But here's the problem.
Once a day, okay, fine.
Twice a day, aha. Okay.
Three times a day? Hrumph.
Four times a day? Blarg!
Five times a day? HOOOWWWWLLLL!!
Six times a day?... SHAWN DESTROY!! CRUSH!! MAIM!! KILL!!! MRAAAAGH! EEEEEARG! BLOOOOOAAAASSHIAGOO!!!! EEEEEEeeeee... feeling weak... all Shawn's power draining from body... oooo...
Fin.
Song of the Day? Link of the Day? Playwright of the Day? I'll work that shizzle out later.
All I can think about right now is what type of screwdriver I'm going to use to shatter the laser on the CD player.
But there's one CD that's got to go. Either it goes, or I go. Seriously.
At work (Artifacts Trading Co), we're having a massive sale of sorts. During this time, the owners of the store get mighty picky about what music is appropriate. You know, we don't want the customers moshing or raising da proverbial roof.
So it has come to pass that a compilation by the good folks at "Putumayo" (the world music company) called "Asian Groove" is practically the only CD we play at work now.
This was absolutely fine for the first little while. Hell, one of the tracks is remixed by Dan the Automator of Gorillaz fame. But here's the problem.
Once a day, okay, fine.
Twice a day, aha. Okay.
Three times a day? Hrumph.
Four times a day? Blarg!
Five times a day? HOOOWWWWLLLL!!
Six times a day?... SHAWN DESTROY!! CRUSH!! MAIM!! KILL!!! MRAAAAGH! EEEEEARG! BLOOOOOAAAASSHIAGOO!!!! EEEEEEeeeee... feeling weak... all Shawn's power draining from body... oooo...
Fin.
Song of the Day? Link of the Day? Playwright of the Day? I'll work that shizzle out later.
All I can think about right now is what type of screwdriver I'm going to use to shatter the laser on the CD player.
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