It might surprise some of you to know I actually went to school to become an actor. Maybe I got a little eccentric and full of myself sometimes. Here's my Bio from the program for 1998's "Viewer Discretion", done at Keyano Recital Theatre:
"Manifesting his exigency, Shawn E. Pallier cogitates his existence as an edictor after realizing he has performed as an immoral transvestite twice now at separate Keyano functions. Grasping at dignity, Shawn envisions a hell where maggots eternally digest his rotten body while a dove of death pecks at his heart. I love widdle fuzzy bunnies."
Clever, wasn't I? Clever at opening a thesaurus, no doubt.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Thursday, April 09, 2009
On Childish Name-calling... and Billy Bob Dorkton.
Yeah, that's right Billy Bob. If I called you "Billy Bob Dorkton" or "Booby Blob Simpleton", I'd expect you to be pissed right off.
But Oscar-winning screenwriter, actor and director?
I know, I know, what a terrible thing to be called. And maybe Jian did say you'd been "sidetracked" by your Hollywood career, but always intended on music. WAY out of line, Jian... if you could hear my voice, you'd hear the sarcasm.
I've been called plenty of things throughout my endeavors in acting. I've been told I'm not a real actor, I'm not a real director, hell, I've been told I'm not a real writer. I've been told I can't dance, can't sing, and shouldn't "try so hard" and "be so desperate". I've had roommates tell me i "stole their dreams" from them when I was successful. I've been called an egomaniac, selfish, and lazy.
And I've never believed a word of it.
Oh sure, I was hurt. And maybe for a little while, I took a little look at myself. But I always liked what I saw, and tried to improve on the little things and not let anyone stand in my way.
But Billy Bob Thornton. I hope that we are all misunderstanding you, and that something really serious happened in your life that you're not willing to share. And you were waiting for the chance to let all your anger out on someone. Someone who said something, anything, that might be considered offensive to you.
In fact, I forgive you. I was going to rant about what a detached and socially inept void you were. How anyone like you could not realize how incredibly lucky someone like me might think you are, doing everything that you love, making a comfortable financial living, and understanding that the consequence is ironic... You don't deserve to be judged by people like me, but for some reason, the public lives vicariously through the famous, and this kind of thing, the way you treated Jian, is just not acceptable in the public's eye.
You know what? It's not because you're famous that I'm so sickened by the way you feel entitled to treat someone like that. It's that I don't like seeing human beings treat each other that way. I'm sorry that you have to be my example.
As you can tell, I'm having a hard time deciding how you make me feel. I really do hope that you aren't so deluded that you think anyone "deserves" to be treated any particular way because they inadvertently hurt your feelings.
A "magician" once pulled me aside and berated me for spoiling one of his "magical illusions". You want to know how I knew about it? I saw it on Camp Caribou, the public access children's show. CHILDREN'S SHOW. Billy Bob Thornton? To me, you are the "magician" who made his hand turn a 360, and then got mad at someone who knew how it was done... by the way Magic dude, I'm glad we don't bump into each other any more.
Oscar-winning screenwriter, actor and director? I've heard worse.
He could have called you the star of the re-make of "Bad News Bears", the voice of "Hounddog McDog", or he could have said you were on the Marquee of "Manure".
Now that's what I call name-calling.
But Oscar-winning screenwriter, actor and director?
I know, I know, what a terrible thing to be called. And maybe Jian did say you'd been "sidetracked" by your Hollywood career, but always intended on music. WAY out of line, Jian... if you could hear my voice, you'd hear the sarcasm.
I've been called plenty of things throughout my endeavors in acting. I've been told I'm not a real actor, I'm not a real director, hell, I've been told I'm not a real writer. I've been told I can't dance, can't sing, and shouldn't "try so hard" and "be so desperate". I've had roommates tell me i "stole their dreams" from them when I was successful. I've been called an egomaniac, selfish, and lazy.
And I've never believed a word of it.
Oh sure, I was hurt. And maybe for a little while, I took a little look at myself. But I always liked what I saw, and tried to improve on the little things and not let anyone stand in my way.
But Billy Bob Thornton. I hope that we are all misunderstanding you, and that something really serious happened in your life that you're not willing to share. And you were waiting for the chance to let all your anger out on someone. Someone who said something, anything, that might be considered offensive to you.
In fact, I forgive you. I was going to rant about what a detached and socially inept void you were. How anyone like you could not realize how incredibly lucky someone like me might think you are, doing everything that you love, making a comfortable financial living, and understanding that the consequence is ironic... You don't deserve to be judged by people like me, but for some reason, the public lives vicariously through the famous, and this kind of thing, the way you treated Jian, is just not acceptable in the public's eye.
You know what? It's not because you're famous that I'm so sickened by the way you feel entitled to treat someone like that. It's that I don't like seeing human beings treat each other that way. I'm sorry that you have to be my example.
As you can tell, I'm having a hard time deciding how you make me feel. I really do hope that you aren't so deluded that you think anyone "deserves" to be treated any particular way because they inadvertently hurt your feelings.
A "magician" once pulled me aside and berated me for spoiling one of his "magical illusions". You want to know how I knew about it? I saw it on Camp Caribou, the public access children's show. CHILDREN'S SHOW. Billy Bob Thornton? To me, you are the "magician" who made his hand turn a 360, and then got mad at someone who knew how it was done... by the way Magic dude, I'm glad we don't bump into each other any more.
Oscar-winning screenwriter, actor and director? I've heard worse.
He could have called you the star of the re-make of "Bad News Bears", the voice of "Hounddog McDog", or he could have said you were on the Marquee of "Manure".
Now that's what I call name-calling.
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