Putting a Soap-Covered Finger in a Glass of Water with Pepper Dashed on top

When I did that once, the pepper rushed to the sides of the glass, making the water perfectly clear. I wish I could do that with my words... That is, make them perfectly clear...

I remember when I first joined RFT, the whole experience was a big (mostly self-imposed) load of intimidation; I was scared about what I would say, how people would take it, and if I would start embellishing truths to sound more interesting. Would I? Indeed I would.

But the odd thing is, the exaggerations are often unintentional...

Take a conversation I had with Jacob in my first couple of months on board. I don't know how this came about, but I ended up telling him I shave my face twice a day. What the eff?... No, no, what I meant was, I have once or twice shaved my face more than once a day, but the social nervousness lead me to stick by my unintentional lie. Now, did Jacob lead me to make that shit up? No, that was 100% pure Shawn. But since I was feeling awkward, I just went with it...

More recently, I was (surprise!) having a conversation about music with some folks. Now, for whatever reason, I still get quasi-nervous around some of the higher-ups in the company to what I hope is a much lesser degree, but I know it's still there. Point being, I was trying to explain that, for fun, I like to make up "beats" and "drum loops" on my computer to be used in future songs of my own composition.

That's the truth.

I was trying to express my frustration with the fact that I make up some pretty shitty beats that I hate, but save on my computer nonetheless (my dinosaur-like computer... let's just say, it ain't even a pentium).

That's the truth.

Here's where I start to get verbal mini-throwup. Now, what I mean to say is, I notice similar music on the radio with similar beats to the ones that I thought were uninspired. I meant to express my frustration with the lack of creative Hip Hip/Rap/Yadayada-that-kinda-genre music that is mass consumed via the radio.

Pretentious, elitist, and all around snobby, but certainly what I was trying to express.

Instead, I come out with something like this:

"So, I'm like, listening to the radio and stuff, and like, there's my beat! They totally stole my beat, and I'm all like, I should be making millions!"

Whoa.

Which must sound a little something like this to the people who I'm talking to:

"I'm bat shit insane! I like to talk to the beatmasters in my stomach! Get out of my skin, you little DJs! And now, to go on stage with alleeall of you, and watch out, I'm friends with Shifty of Crazy Town... COME MY LADY, COME COME MY LADY!!! He'll cut you up... did I tell you I wrote that song?"

Well, okay maybe not exactly like that, but something similar.

My advice to all you new RFT Improvisers, don't get nervous around the veterans of the company. Staying cool and loose, especially before shows, is what makes us one step above the rest.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to put my straitjacket back on.