Nazi Gum?-- The Story Behind Trident Splash

I know the commercial is a wee bit old, but they still run it, and it still pisses me off. Here's a little scenario:

Monday morning. Cadbury Corporation in the board room.

BOSS: Good morning gentlemen.

Enter INTERN. He is carrying tray of piping hot coffee.

BOSS: We have a product that we've been developing for a while, it's called Trident Splash. We need a catchy commercial that is "hip" and "now". Johnson, what's hip and now?

JOHNSON: Quentin Tarantino!

BOSS: Excellent Johnson! But we can't afford him. Let's make sure we use a song he's used in one of his movies for the commercial. Now... I know we have to make sure everyone knows the fellow who's chewing the gum is confident and in the know. What's something confident people do?

SPERBER: They wear speedos!

JOHNSON: They swagger!

BOSS: Excellent. This fellow is wearing a speedo and swaggering down the street. Now, where is somewhere where people meet?

PALLIER: A Bus stop!

BOSS: Perfect. But how did you get in here?! (PALLIER is thrown out by JOHNSON by the back belt loop) And now, I need some quintessential losers. What kind of people are an easy target?

SPERBER: Fags!

JOHNSON: Black people!

MCGILLICUTTY: Slackers!... Uh, the un-shaven, dirty, poor, punk-rock loving bohemian!

BOSS: Don't overthink, McGillicutty. But I like it. A dirty Punk-rocker. Maybe someone in a Green Day T-shirt.

INTERN: Uh, Green Day is barely punk anymore.

BOSS: SILENCE! (BOSS throws hot coffee on INTERN. SPERBER and JOHNSON beat him with his own arms. MCGILLICUTTY puts out his cigar on INTERN's bruises.) I wanted an intern that was "hip" and "now", not "Wannabe-hipster" and "Dao....... ist". Now where were we... Right! Confident middle-class pasty white man swaggers down the street in speedos. He meets 3 easy targets: A black woman on a computer.... haahaa... hoo. A black woman on a computer?! I crack me up...ahaha. A fag with a poofy dog, because we all know they love their pussy-ass poodles, and a dirty punk trying to hit on an innocent Aryan girl. Okay, okay, that's 4, but we won't victimize that blonde beauty. Regardless. When our hero chews the gum, he'll reveal the others for who they are: They'll be hit by a "wave"... Get it? Trident Splash? Wave? So all the targets are hit: The black woman's computer is destroyed, because, what was she using that for anyway... the Homo's faggity poodle will have his hairdo destroyed, and the punk will actually turn out to be an old has-been, hiding a comb-over! In fact, he's a pervert for even trying to get with that girl, and she'll scream mockingly at his stupid bald head! And, what the hell, let's throw in a goth chick. They're funny looking. Especially wet... Besides, she's anti-conformist! And gentlemen, we have a commercial.

JOHNSON: Here here!

SPERBER: Hooray!

MCGILLICUTTY: Superb!

They exit, each kicking the INTERN in the ribs on the way to a "power-lunch".

Now, is that really the message Trident Splash wanted me to get? I hope not, and I hope nobody was actually thinking this way when the commercial was developed. I know I couldn't be the first person to think this way about this commercial. And I know I'm just as bad in a way for recognizing the targets, but hey, I was raised in Capatalist North America: I think they subliminaly wanted me to notice, and never reveal their Anti-gay, Racist, Anti-unique individualness (notice the "anarchist" was also victimized) message. No, no. They wouldn't want me to notice that message upfront. They never wanted it to bubble to the surface....

Or maybe the commercial meant none of it at all. But that leads me to my point: Be careful, when you're improvising, what message you may accidentally be portraying. Stereotypes are occasionally funny, but do you really need to beat down another intern?

Wait, I stereotyped Corporate America! I made those office jerks into caricatures! I DON'T EVEN HEED MY OWN MESSAGE!! I'M JUST LIKE THEM!

NOOOOO.....!

Oh well, screw it.

PS-- for those wondering what the song is, it's supposed to be the George Baker Selection playing "Little Green Bag". It's not, but it's supposed to be... In fact, the original commercial had a sound-alike, and then, likely after legal action and some suing, it became the "real" song, redone by some studio musicians.