...And I don't mean wacky tobaccy.
I want God to get my letter, and this was the only way I thought I could do it. Because God sees everything, right? No need to build a slingshot to heaven.
Dear God:
I appreciate all you have done for us. You've given us mountains, music, and sweater muffins, and I thank you for all. But I would really appreciate some help right now. I have a few things to talk to you about, and I thank you in advance for taking time out of your busy schedule to read this.
1) Rain... Please, if you could, slow down the rain. Our Improvaganza festival would like that. And so would my Basement. And so would the Ghermazian brothers, whose mall is so shoddily built, it can't handle it whatsoever. And Whitemud Drive also would like you to perhaps turn the taps off, or stop crying so much. Ralph Klein will die someday. No need to cry about it anymore... My lawn really needs to be mowed. I stare at it every day, and cannot do a thing until it is dry. I'm getting really, really crazy about it.
2) Oilers... They pray to you, I'm sure, and so do the fans. Don't listen to those North Carolinans. I hear they covet their neighbour's wives on a regular basis. And forget to keep the sabbath day holy.
3) Jobs... Please, help myself and those around me keep or get jobs. No, not that kind. God, you cad!
In closing, I always admired your work ethic and charm, and ability to get mad at the right time. I also admire the curls in your beard, and your unstained frock. Kudos to your son and all he did too. Let him know I give him the "okay" sign with my left hand and the "thumbs up" with my right.
Thank you,
Shawn Pallier
Rapid Fire Theatre
Amen.
UPDATE: 1 hour after I posted this, my Girlfriend got a call from the job she applied for, and she got it. Hallelujah. God really is out there...
Song of the Day: "Ha Ha" by the Mates of State. You know, because we're trying to make with the ha ha for the run of the festival. Listen to it here: http://www.myspace.com/ladylovinlynx
Link of the Day: http://saying-what-youre-thinking.blogspot.com/ Jesse's got a new blog.
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3 comments:
No more gag order on mentioning a certain someone?
Well that's a relief... you know I can barely hold it in, wanting to talk about Jesse so badly!
Ha ha. You know you're right, I wasn't supposed to ever, ever mention a certain someone...oops.
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