Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Driving the Point Home, and to Work, and to Pick up some Eggs.

Hey.

I'm back.

Just before I left, I went over to my dad's place to pick up a cooler for my trip.

I needed somewhere to put the juice boxes, eh?

So anyway, I'm driving back, cooler in trunk, taking my time, but driving the speed limit, because somewhere along the way in my life, I decided that I'm not much of a speeder.

However, the dude next to me was.

The problem for him was that he kept hitting all the red lights. Now, Edmonton and the rest of Alberta is known for crazy drivin'. Hillbillies going 170 kph down roads marked 50. Because, dammit, we got places to go! We got milk to git! We got wimins to pick up! We got to git down to the local garage to get that muffler taken off! CAR'S TOO QUIET!

YOU HERE THAT SOUND COMIN' from my CAR?? THAT AIN'T JUST MY MOTOR RUNNIN'! THAT'S MY 12 FOOT LONG DICK FLAPPIN' IN THE WIND!

YEEEEHAWWW!!

Anywhoo, he's hitting all the red lights. So naturally, he's got to peel out at every light so that I know he's higher on the food chain. And then all of a sudden, it happens.

Karma.

He gets in front of me at the next light. Apparently, he likes me behind him (burn. Now who's your daddy?). As he goes to peel out for the 5th straight light...

SMASH!!

His plastic back window falls into several pieces as his lawnmower handles come careening out of the back of his truck.

The great part is, I doubt he could hear it or feel it happen what with all the motor-runnin' and dick-flappin' going on.

I'm not saying I'm the better man. I'm just saying... my back window is still intact.

Link of the Day: http://www.adultswim.com/games/squidbillies_floorit/index.html?showId=330849&name=Squidbillies&timezone=EST

Want to send a hillbilly squid through the windshield of a car? You have to sit through a commercial as it loads, but it's worth the wait.

Song of the Day: Pick it up, Lay it in the Cut by Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings.
This is from the first album. Just listen to how that bass line goes. Wheee.
Listen to it here: http://www.myspace.com/ladylovinlynx

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is music to my ears.....I just wonder, can god make a truck so loud that he cant hear his own voice over it?

Anonymous said...

Ahhh...The Dap-Kings never disappoint. Thanks! = )