"He didn't give you gay, did he?" - Homer Simpson, Episode #168 "Homer's Phobia" (1997).
It seems as if some Sonic 102.9 listeners hate fun (and the band called "fun."). Well, at least a small pocket of Tapout-wearing, white-sunglass-faced lovers of all things douche, probably. The thing is, it seems as soon as a band becomes famous, they are bound to experience backlash (I won't even get into why people like this would listen to a station like Sonic).
So, as per usual, we all profess to hate all things popular with no explanation given (or necessary, I suppose). However, I think the reason most people give them a tough time is this: They look/sound/seem "gay".
Yep, it turns out in our ass-backwards, chicken-shit society, we can hide behind fake names on Facebook and pretty much say any ignorant thing we want these days. Heaven forbid a band or a group of people (for the sake of the UFC crowd, I will refer to these people as "hipsters") doesn't fit into your ultra-masculine stereotypes.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out overcompensation to battle the "gay". It can be done in 10 easy steps:
1. Buy a truck, and remove the muffler, and jack the tires up.
2. Buy a pair of white Oakley sunglasses.
3. Wear only brands that refer to MMA, Racing, Chop Shops, or Tattoos.
4. Be as racist as modern society now allows (this is limitless somehow as of 2001).
5. Talk about American sports all day. Try and name-drop athletes only by their nicknames.
6. Be as aggressive to strangers as possible. Typically, do this behind the wheel of step 1.
7. Blame all your irrational rage on others and mutter "I need a fuckin' cigarette" at least 3 times a day.
8. Tell everyone via social media how much you hate things that don't involve steps 1-7.
9. Gather together in groups of clones of yourself every weekend and talk about or watch things involving steps 1, 3, 4, and 5, and at 2 AM walk down the street drunkenly re-enacting step 6 (a little more punchy now), and then mutter step 7.
10. The most important step: Hate everything "gay" and remind your "not gay" friends that you still hate "gay" things by obsessively talking about "gay" things and how much you hate them.
There. Now you'll fit in. You're welcome.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
In Regards to the Ego Yet Again.
Ah, the wondrous return of the blog to what it's supposed to be - a diary that other people can read, but most likely will not.
At one time, I had a well-read blog. It attracted a lot of attention and views. In fact, it was this one. And then came Facebook and Twitter. Also known as the death of the personal blog.
Blogs still have a place in the world - If someone has a business or hobby that they want to share pointers on, or try to get a few more clients, it's perfect for them... As far as a sad little corner for people to whine about their personal lives go, alas, this is more of a Facebook thing now, and can be limited to much shorter entries.
But sometimes, personal life-whining needs more space to stretch it's legs.
I've been doing Improv on stage since 1994. I've pretty much been doing it every year since then, and I still do it almost once a week. Hell, a few years ago, I did it 3 times a week. Seriously.
So it it really my ego that gets in the way of criticism? Can you still tell me that now? I suppose you can, but you'd be wrong.
I've taken criticism from everyone - From teachers, mentors, theatre gurus, theatre rookies, random adults, college and university kids, teens, and children. I've got everything from where I need to improve to more or less "I hate what you do". And I take it with a smile on my face and I listen.
But would it kill some people to give me a little respect now and then?
I'm really happy that the group I'm with now, Tales From the Improv Zone, is totally supportive. They continue to give me pointers, but also let me put in my two cents. Some even are very flattering in their comments (cough... Chad), and that gives them permission, in my opinion, to be blunt with me when there's something I need to work on.
Most other people out there have one or two nice things to say, but rather infrequently about my abilities. It's more about my great attitude and sticktoitiveness. Hell, I'd argue the whole thing about me having a good attitude or not with anyone, so I take that with a grain of salt.
Still, despite all the efforts I've put in over the years, there are folks out there that just don't have it in them to give me an ounce of credit. And that stings.
I really enjoy helping to develop new talent, young and old. That's my passion. And it's my fate to frequently see them pass me by and become more successful than me. In all my time, I have never had anyone who really went on to good success in the improv world say thank you to me. In fact, they seem to largely ignore me only a mere few months after moving on to greener pastures. And that's a fact. Not that I'm keeping score or anything. Okay. I'm keeping score.
I've watched them do very well for themselves in art, theatre, and music. Some of them (who should be thankful I'm not naming them) asked me personally for my advice. They came to me for pointers specifically and now have a hard time returning a "Hi" when I pass them on the street.
That stinks.
Sour grapes, I'm just jealous, bitter, blah blah. Nope. I'm just feeling sad.
I hope some day the talented people who know how dedicated I was to them (and still would be if they were still pushing to climb the ladder) realize that I very much so care about Edmonton's theatre community. I love seeing them succeed. I'd enjoy still being a friend to those who have done well, and I'd like it if they saw value in me still.
To be honest, I will remain in this community as long as it will have me, and I will continue to support and mentor new talents. If they don't want to hear what I have to say, that's okay, I will leave them alone. But as many people have said to me "Don't ask me for my opinion if you don't want it."
I feel better now.
At one time, I had a well-read blog. It attracted a lot of attention and views. In fact, it was this one. And then came Facebook and Twitter. Also known as the death of the personal blog.
Blogs still have a place in the world - If someone has a business or hobby that they want to share pointers on, or try to get a few more clients, it's perfect for them... As far as a sad little corner for people to whine about their personal lives go, alas, this is more of a Facebook thing now, and can be limited to much shorter entries.
But sometimes, personal life-whining needs more space to stretch it's legs.
I've been doing Improv on stage since 1994. I've pretty much been doing it every year since then, and I still do it almost once a week. Hell, a few years ago, I did it 3 times a week. Seriously.
So it it really my ego that gets in the way of criticism? Can you still tell me that now? I suppose you can, but you'd be wrong.
I've taken criticism from everyone - From teachers, mentors, theatre gurus, theatre rookies, random adults, college and university kids, teens, and children. I've got everything from where I need to improve to more or less "I hate what you do". And I take it with a smile on my face and I listen.
But would it kill some people to give me a little respect now and then?
I'm really happy that the group I'm with now, Tales From the Improv Zone, is totally supportive. They continue to give me pointers, but also let me put in my two cents. Some even are very flattering in their comments (cough... Chad), and that gives them permission, in my opinion, to be blunt with me when there's something I need to work on.
Most other people out there have one or two nice things to say, but rather infrequently about my abilities. It's more about my great attitude and sticktoitiveness. Hell, I'd argue the whole thing about me having a good attitude or not with anyone, so I take that with a grain of salt.
Still, despite all the efforts I've put in over the years, there are folks out there that just don't have it in them to give me an ounce of credit. And that stings.
I really enjoy helping to develop new talent, young and old. That's my passion. And it's my fate to frequently see them pass me by and become more successful than me. In all my time, I have never had anyone who really went on to good success in the improv world say thank you to me. In fact, they seem to largely ignore me only a mere few months after moving on to greener pastures. And that's a fact. Not that I'm keeping score or anything. Okay. I'm keeping score.
I've watched them do very well for themselves in art, theatre, and music. Some of them (who should be thankful I'm not naming them) asked me personally for my advice. They came to me for pointers specifically and now have a hard time returning a "Hi" when I pass them on the street.
That stinks.
Sour grapes, I'm just jealous, bitter, blah blah. Nope. I'm just feeling sad.
I hope some day the talented people who know how dedicated I was to them (and still would be if they were still pushing to climb the ladder) realize that I very much so care about Edmonton's theatre community. I love seeing them succeed. I'd enjoy still being a friend to those who have done well, and I'd like it if they saw value in me still.
To be honest, I will remain in this community as long as it will have me, and I will continue to support and mentor new talents. If they don't want to hear what I have to say, that's okay, I will leave them alone. But as many people have said to me "Don't ask me for my opinion if you don't want it."
I feel better now.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Lava Lamp: Wheat, Barley, or Wax Ale?
I was fixing up my "office" in the house today... And the black cap from my lava lamp fell off the top.
I discovered underneath a bottle cap holds the liquid in, and it got me to thinking: Am I supposed to drink the 14-year-old liquid inside?
Should I heat it up first? I mean, the wax does need to be melty in order for me to guzzle, right?
And then it said it, right on the lid "Do Not Ingest".
Oh. Mystery solved.
I discovered underneath a bottle cap holds the liquid in, and it got me to thinking: Am I supposed to drink the 14-year-old liquid inside?
Should I heat it up first? I mean, the wax does need to be melty in order for me to guzzle, right?
And then it said it, right on the lid "Do Not Ingest".
Oh. Mystery solved.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Manifesting my What?
It might surprise some of you to know I actually went to school to become an actor. Maybe I got a little eccentric and full of myself sometimes. Here's my Bio from the program for 1998's "Viewer Discretion", done at Keyano Recital Theatre:
"Manifesting his exigency, Shawn E. Pallier cogitates his existence as an edictor after realizing he has performed as an immoral transvestite twice now at separate Keyano functions. Grasping at dignity, Shawn envisions a hell where maggots eternally digest his rotten body while a dove of death pecks at his heart. I love widdle fuzzy bunnies."
Clever, wasn't I? Clever at opening a thesaurus, no doubt.
"Manifesting his exigency, Shawn E. Pallier cogitates his existence as an edictor after realizing he has performed as an immoral transvestite twice now at separate Keyano functions. Grasping at dignity, Shawn envisions a hell where maggots eternally digest his rotten body while a dove of death pecks at his heart. I love widdle fuzzy bunnies."
Clever, wasn't I? Clever at opening a thesaurus, no doubt.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
On Childish Name-calling... and Billy Bob Dorkton.
Yeah, that's right Billy Bob. If I called you "Billy Bob Dorkton" or "Booby Blob Simpleton", I'd expect you to be pissed right off.
But Oscar-winning screenwriter, actor and director?
I know, I know, what a terrible thing to be called. And maybe Jian did say you'd been "sidetracked" by your Hollywood career, but always intended on music. WAY out of line, Jian... if you could hear my voice, you'd hear the sarcasm.
I've been called plenty of things throughout my endeavors in acting. I've been told I'm not a real actor, I'm not a real director, hell, I've been told I'm not a real writer. I've been told I can't dance, can't sing, and shouldn't "try so hard" and "be so desperate". I've had roommates tell me i "stole their dreams" from them when I was successful. I've been called an egomaniac, selfish, and lazy.
And I've never believed a word of it.
Oh sure, I was hurt. And maybe for a little while, I took a little look at myself. But I always liked what I saw, and tried to improve on the little things and not let anyone stand in my way.
But Billy Bob Thornton. I hope that we are all misunderstanding you, and that something really serious happened in your life that you're not willing to share. And you were waiting for the chance to let all your anger out on someone. Someone who said something, anything, that might be considered offensive to you.
In fact, I forgive you. I was going to rant about what a detached and socially inept void you were. How anyone like you could not realize how incredibly lucky someone like me might think you are, doing everything that you love, making a comfortable financial living, and understanding that the consequence is ironic... You don't deserve to be judged by people like me, but for some reason, the public lives vicariously through the famous, and this kind of thing, the way you treated Jian, is just not acceptable in the public's eye.
You know what? It's not because you're famous that I'm so sickened by the way you feel entitled to treat someone like that. It's that I don't like seeing human beings treat each other that way. I'm sorry that you have to be my example.
As you can tell, I'm having a hard time deciding how you make me feel. I really do hope that you aren't so deluded that you think anyone "deserves" to be treated any particular way because they inadvertently hurt your feelings.
A "magician" once pulled me aside and berated me for spoiling one of his "magical illusions". You want to know how I knew about it? I saw it on Camp Caribou, the public access children's show. CHILDREN'S SHOW. Billy Bob Thornton? To me, you are the "magician" who made his hand turn a 360, and then got mad at someone who knew how it was done... by the way Magic dude, I'm glad we don't bump into each other any more.
Oscar-winning screenwriter, actor and director? I've heard worse.
He could have called you the star of the re-make of "Bad News Bears", the voice of "Hounddog McDog", or he could have said you were on the Marquee of "Manure".
Now that's what I call name-calling.
But Oscar-winning screenwriter, actor and director?
I know, I know, what a terrible thing to be called. And maybe Jian did say you'd been "sidetracked" by your Hollywood career, but always intended on music. WAY out of line, Jian... if you could hear my voice, you'd hear the sarcasm.
I've been called plenty of things throughout my endeavors in acting. I've been told I'm not a real actor, I'm not a real director, hell, I've been told I'm not a real writer. I've been told I can't dance, can't sing, and shouldn't "try so hard" and "be so desperate". I've had roommates tell me i "stole their dreams" from them when I was successful. I've been called an egomaniac, selfish, and lazy.
And I've never believed a word of it.
Oh sure, I was hurt. And maybe for a little while, I took a little look at myself. But I always liked what I saw, and tried to improve on the little things and not let anyone stand in my way.
But Billy Bob Thornton. I hope that we are all misunderstanding you, and that something really serious happened in your life that you're not willing to share. And you were waiting for the chance to let all your anger out on someone. Someone who said something, anything, that might be considered offensive to you.
In fact, I forgive you. I was going to rant about what a detached and socially inept void you were. How anyone like you could not realize how incredibly lucky someone like me might think you are, doing everything that you love, making a comfortable financial living, and understanding that the consequence is ironic... You don't deserve to be judged by people like me, but for some reason, the public lives vicariously through the famous, and this kind of thing, the way you treated Jian, is just not acceptable in the public's eye.
You know what? It's not because you're famous that I'm so sickened by the way you feel entitled to treat someone like that. It's that I don't like seeing human beings treat each other that way. I'm sorry that you have to be my example.
As you can tell, I'm having a hard time deciding how you make me feel. I really do hope that you aren't so deluded that you think anyone "deserves" to be treated any particular way because they inadvertently hurt your feelings.
A "magician" once pulled me aside and berated me for spoiling one of his "magical illusions". You want to know how I knew about it? I saw it on Camp Caribou, the public access children's show. CHILDREN'S SHOW. Billy Bob Thornton? To me, you are the "magician" who made his hand turn a 360, and then got mad at someone who knew how it was done... by the way Magic dude, I'm glad we don't bump into each other any more.
Oscar-winning screenwriter, actor and director? I've heard worse.
He could have called you the star of the re-make of "Bad News Bears", the voice of "Hounddog McDog", or he could have said you were on the Marquee of "Manure".
Now that's what I call name-calling.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Creativity and Dreams. Married at last.
Sometimes, you just have to create a fake album cover.
Very cathartic.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
I'll just get up here on this Soapbox...
Sonic recently had a Survey, and they asked if I had anything to tell them.
I did.
Consider the level of total music obsession some of your listeners have. I've called in a couple of times to complete disdain from DJs my music requests when it's quite obvious Sonic is considering playing most of those artists (Flaming Lips (other than She Don't Use Jelly), Ben Folds, Matthew Sweet, etc) but aren't too sure how their primarily(? not sure if the following statement is true) 14-22 year old audience would react.
If you play Big Audio Dynamite and Jim Carroll, you must know we're out there. And I think you've lost contact with a lot of us.
Truth moment? I've heard several of my friends don't listen any more. They're tired of some of the over-played stuff that the Bear is playing already (Linkin Park, Three Days Grace, Disturbed, Papa Roach... already heard them before Sonic, would tune into 100.3 if I wanted to hear them). I do understand the quandary though; there is definitely a fan base that would be just as pissed if those bands airtimes were diminished, so I know you can't please everyone. I just had to get that off my chest.
My thought? I know people like me already have Farm Fresh, but I think we deserve another hour. A program that dedicated itself to the geekier side of Modern Rock. For people like me (I know I'm not alone) who own Mates of State albums, who think Vampire Weekend are the greatest thing since sliced bread, who lament the sudden absence or lack of Spoon, Flobots, The Weakerthans and The Dears, and who KNOW Modern Rock pioneers like Morrissey still make new albums, and are totally aware of the Adulty-Modern rock movements including artists like Sharon Jones, Beirut... blah blah blah.
That's what I had to tell you at Sonic. You can all roll your eyes collectively at this one. I know it was a little self-righteous and ranty, but I thought I'd throw it out there.
I did.
Consider the level of total music obsession some of your listeners have. I've called in a couple of times to complete disdain from DJs my music requests when it's quite obvious Sonic is considering playing most of those artists (Flaming Lips (other than She Don't Use Jelly), Ben Folds, Matthew Sweet, etc) but aren't too sure how their primarily(? not sure if the following statement is true) 14-22 year old audience would react.
If you play Big Audio Dynamite and Jim Carroll, you must know we're out there. And I think you've lost contact with a lot of us.
Truth moment? I've heard several of my friends don't listen any more. They're tired of some of the over-played stuff that the Bear is playing already (Linkin Park, Three Days Grace, Disturbed, Papa Roach... already heard them before Sonic, would tune into 100.3 if I wanted to hear them). I do understand the quandary though; there is definitely a fan base that would be just as pissed if those bands airtimes were diminished, so I know you can't please everyone. I just had to get that off my chest.
My thought? I know people like me already have Farm Fresh, but I think we deserve another hour. A program that dedicated itself to the geekier side of Modern Rock. For people like me (I know I'm not alone) who own Mates of State albums, who think Vampire Weekend are the greatest thing since sliced bread, who lament the sudden absence or lack of Spoon, Flobots, The Weakerthans and The Dears, and who KNOW Modern Rock pioneers like Morrissey still make new albums, and are totally aware of the Adulty-Modern rock movements including artists like Sharon Jones, Beirut... blah blah blah.
That's what I had to tell you at Sonic. You can all roll your eyes collectively at this one. I know it was a little self-righteous and ranty, but I thought I'd throw it out there.
Saturday, January 03, 2009
Your New Year's Resolution? See at Least one of these Every Month: (Yeah, Yeah. This is only part of January. Smartass.):
"The Play About The Baby" (Image Theatre)
Roxy Theatre (10708 124 Street)
Previews January 6 & 7, January 8-18, 2009
Tickets: 780-453-2440 or www.tixonthesquare.com
www.attheroxy.com
"10 Days of Madness Playwriting Festival" (University of Alberta)
TransAlta Arts Barns (24-hour contest: Dinwoodie on the U of A campus)
January 8-17, 2009
Information: Melissa at 780-718-6583
www.bookstore.ualberta.ca
"Monthly STORY CAFE: Laugh Like the Devil" (T.A.L.E.S. Edmonton)
Rosie's Bar and Grill (10475- 80 Ave)
January 8, 2009 @ 7 pm
Tickets: At the Door; Pay What You Will ($6 minimum)
www.ecn.ab.ca/~tales/
"Monthly TELLAROUND" (T.A.L.E.S. Edmonton)
The City Arts Centre (10943 84 Ave)
January 9, 2009 @ 8 pm
Tickets: At the Door; First time free. Subsequent admission $3.
www.ecn.ab.ca/~tales/
"Scorched"(Citadel Theatre)
Rice Theatre (Inside the Citadel: 9828 101A Avenue)
January 10 – February 1, 2009
Tickets: 780-425-1820 or:
www.citadeltheatre.com
"Die-Nasty! Season 18: The French Renovation" (Die-Nasty Improv)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
Every Monday at 8 PM
Tickets: 780-433-3399 (Mailbox #1) or 780-707-7964
www.die-nastyimprov.com
"Theatresports" (Rapid Fire Theatre)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
Every Friday at 11pm (RFT Primetime 8 pm on January 9)
Tickets: At the door or reserve ahead at 780-448-0695
www.rapidfiretheatre.com
"CHiMPROV" (Rapid Fire Theatre)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
Every Saturday except the last of the month at 11pm
Tickets: At the door or reserve ahead at 780-448-0695
www.rapidfiretheatre.com
"Oh Susanna!"
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
The last Saturday of the month at 11 pm
Tickets: 780-433-3399
www.varsconatheatre.org
"Peace, Love & Rock N' Roll: And The Beat Goes On!" (Mayfield Dinner Theatre)
Mayfield Inn and Suites (16615 109 Avenue)
November 7, 2008 to February 15, 2009
Tickets: 780-483-4051 or Toll Free 1-877-529-7829, or at: www.mayfieldtheatre.ca
"Pirates of the North Saskatchewan II" (Jubilations Dinner Theatre)
West Edmonton Mall (#2690, 8882 170 Street)
November 6, 2008 to January 24, 2009
Tickets: 780-484-2424 or Toll Free 1-877-214-2424
www.jubilations.ca
Roxy Theatre (10708 124 Street)
Previews January 6 & 7, January 8-18, 2009
Tickets: 780-453-2440 or www.tixonthesquare.com
www.attheroxy.com
"10 Days of Madness Playwriting Festival" (University of Alberta)
TransAlta Arts Barns (24-hour contest: Dinwoodie on the U of A campus)
January 8-17, 2009
Information: Melissa at 780-718-6583
www.bookstore.ualberta.ca
"Monthly STORY CAFE: Laugh Like the Devil" (T.A.L.E.S. Edmonton)
Rosie's Bar and Grill (10475- 80 Ave)
January 8, 2009 @ 7 pm
Tickets: At the Door; Pay What You Will ($6 minimum)
www.ecn.ab.ca/~tales/
"Monthly TELLAROUND" (T.A.L.E.S. Edmonton)
The City Arts Centre (10943 84 Ave)
January 9, 2009 @ 8 pm
Tickets: At the Door; First time free. Subsequent admission $3.
www.ecn.ab.ca/~tales/
"Scorched"(Citadel Theatre)
Rice Theatre (Inside the Citadel: 9828 101A Avenue)
January 10 – February 1, 2009
Tickets: 780-425-1820 or:
www.citadeltheatre.com
"Die-Nasty! Season 18: The French Renovation" (Die-Nasty Improv)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
Every Monday at 8 PM
Tickets: 780-433-3399 (Mailbox #1) or 780-707-7964
www.die-nastyimprov.com
"Theatresports" (Rapid Fire Theatre)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
Every Friday at 11pm (RFT Primetime 8 pm on January 9)
Tickets: At the door or reserve ahead at 780-448-0695
www.rapidfiretheatre.com
"CHiMPROV" (Rapid Fire Theatre)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
Every Saturday except the last of the month at 11pm
Tickets: At the door or reserve ahead at 780-448-0695
www.rapidfiretheatre.com
"Oh Susanna!"
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
The last Saturday of the month at 11 pm
Tickets: 780-433-3399
www.varsconatheatre.org
"Peace, Love & Rock N' Roll: And The Beat Goes On!" (Mayfield Dinner Theatre)
Mayfield Inn and Suites (16615 109 Avenue)
November 7, 2008 to February 15, 2009
Tickets: 780-483-4051 or Toll Free 1-877-529-7829, or at: www.mayfieldtheatre.ca
"Pirates of the North Saskatchewan II" (Jubilations Dinner Theatre)
West Edmonton Mall (#2690, 8882 170 Street)
November 6, 2008 to January 24, 2009
Tickets: 780-484-2424 or Toll Free 1-877-214-2424
www.jubilations.ca
Friday, December 12, 2008
Merry Kweznuz: This Week in Theatre
"The Nutcracker" (Alberta Ballet)
Northern Alberta Jubilee Auditorium (11455 87th Avenue)
December 11, 2008 to December 14, 2008
Tickets: 780-428-6839 ext. 1 or www.ticketmaster.ca
www.albertaballet.com
A Christmas Carol: A Dramatized Reading (East of 60 Productions)
Royal Canadian Legion Devon Branch (6 Huron Street, Devon AB)
December 13, 2008 to December 14, 2008
Tickets: 780-987-0912 or 780-987-3356
eastofsixty.com
"Trains fantômes *with english subtitles*" (L'Unitheatre / Théâtre Triangle Vital de Montréal)
La Cite Francophone (8627 91 Street)
December 11, 1008 to December 13, 2008
Tickets: 780-466-1556 or at www.tixonthesquare.com
www.lunitheatre.ca
"Black Hearts in the Green Room" (Walterdale Playhouse)
Walterdale Playhouse (10322 83 Ave)
December 10, 2008 to December 20, 2008
Tickets: 780-420-1757 or www.tixonthesquare.com
www.walterdaleplayhouse.com
"XXXMas IV: The Re-Gifting" (Mostly Water Theatre)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
December 13, 2008
Tickets: available at the door (cash only), and can be reserved at 780-686-5960
www.mostlywatertheatre.com
"Trap Door Party"(MOVE: The Company)
Festival Place (100 Festival Way, Sherwood Park AB)
December 14, 2008
Tickets: 780-449-3378 or:
www.festivalplace.ab.ca
(780) 449-3378
"A Christmas Carol" (Citadel Theatre)
McLab Theatre (9828 101A Avenue)
November 28, 2008 to December 23, 2008
Tickets: 780-425-1820 or Toll Free 1-888-425-1820 or at:
www.citadeltheatre.com
"Sailor's Song" (Trunk Theatre)
Roxy Theatre (10708 124 Street)
December 4, 2008 to December 14, 2008
Tickets: 780-420-1752 or www.tixonthesquare.com
more information at: www.attheroxy.com
"The V.I.P. Kids Show!" (Varscona Saturday Morning Children's Series)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
December 13, 2008
Tickets: 780-420-1757 or www.tixonthesquare.com
www.varsconatheatre.org
"Die-Nasty! Season 18: The French Renovation" (Die-Nasty Improv)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
Every Monday at 8 PM
Tickets: 780-433-3399 (Mailbox #1) or 780-707-7964
www.die-nastyimprov.com
"Theatresports" (Rapid Fire Theatre)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
Every Friday at 11pm
Tickets: At the door or reserve ahead at 780-448-0695
www.rapidfiretheatre.com
"CHiMPROV" (Rapid Fire Theatre)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
Every Saturday except the last of the month at 11pm
Tickets: At the door or reserve ahead at 780-448-0695
www.rapidfiretheatre.com
"Oh Susanna!"
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
The last Saturday of the month at 11 pm
Tickets: 780-433-3399
www.varsconatheatre.org
"Peace, Love & Rock N' Roll: And The Beat Goes On!" (Mayfield Dinner Theatre)
Mayfield Inn and Suites (16615 109 Avenue)
November 7, 2008 to February 15, 2009
Tickets: 780-483-4051 or Toll Free 1-877-529-7829, or at: www.mayfieldtheatre.ca
"Pirates of the North Saskatchewan II" (Jubilations Dinner Theatre)
West Edmonton Mall (#2690, 8882 170 Street)
November 6, 2008 to January 24, 2009
Tickets: 780-484-2424 or Toll Free 1-877-214-2424
www.jubilations.ca
Northern Alberta Jubilee Auditorium (11455 87th Avenue)
December 11, 2008 to December 14, 2008
Tickets: 780-428-6839 ext. 1 or www.ticketmaster.ca
www.albertaballet.com
A Christmas Carol: A Dramatized Reading (East of 60 Productions)
Royal Canadian Legion Devon Branch (6 Huron Street, Devon AB)
December 13, 2008 to December 14, 2008
Tickets: 780-987-0912 or 780-987-3356
eastofsixty.com
"Trains fantômes *with english subtitles*" (L'Unitheatre / Théâtre Triangle Vital de Montréal)
La Cite Francophone (8627 91 Street)
December 11, 1008 to December 13, 2008
Tickets: 780-466-1556 or at www.tixonthesquare.com
www.lunitheatre.ca
"Black Hearts in the Green Room" (Walterdale Playhouse)
Walterdale Playhouse (10322 83 Ave)
December 10, 2008 to December 20, 2008
Tickets: 780-420-1757 or www.tixonthesquare.com
www.walterdaleplayhouse.com
"XXXMas IV: The Re-Gifting" (Mostly Water Theatre)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
December 13, 2008
Tickets: available at the door (cash only), and can be reserved at 780-686-5960
www.mostlywatertheatre.com
"Trap Door Party"(MOVE: The Company)
Festival Place (100 Festival Way, Sherwood Park AB)
December 14, 2008
Tickets: 780-449-3378 or:
www.festivalplace.ab.ca
(780) 449-3378
"A Christmas Carol" (Citadel Theatre)
McLab Theatre (9828 101A Avenue)
November 28, 2008 to December 23, 2008
Tickets: 780-425-1820 or Toll Free 1-888-425-1820 or at:
www.citadeltheatre.com
"Sailor's Song" (Trunk Theatre)
Roxy Theatre (10708 124 Street)
December 4, 2008 to December 14, 2008
Tickets: 780-420-1752 or www.tixonthesquare.com
more information at: www.attheroxy.com
"The V.I.P. Kids Show!" (Varscona Saturday Morning Children's Series)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
December 13, 2008
Tickets: 780-420-1757 or www.tixonthesquare.com
www.varsconatheatre.org
"Die-Nasty! Season 18: The French Renovation" (Die-Nasty Improv)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
Every Monday at 8 PM
Tickets: 780-433-3399 (Mailbox #1) or 780-707-7964
www.die-nastyimprov.com
"Theatresports" (Rapid Fire Theatre)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
Every Friday at 11pm
Tickets: At the door or reserve ahead at 780-448-0695
www.rapidfiretheatre.com
"CHiMPROV" (Rapid Fire Theatre)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
Every Saturday except the last of the month at 11pm
Tickets: At the door or reserve ahead at 780-448-0695
www.rapidfiretheatre.com
"Oh Susanna!"
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
The last Saturday of the month at 11 pm
Tickets: 780-433-3399
www.varsconatheatre.org
"Peace, Love & Rock N' Roll: And The Beat Goes On!" (Mayfield Dinner Theatre)
Mayfield Inn and Suites (16615 109 Avenue)
November 7, 2008 to February 15, 2009
Tickets: 780-483-4051 or Toll Free 1-877-529-7829, or at: www.mayfieldtheatre.ca
"Pirates of the North Saskatchewan II" (Jubilations Dinner Theatre)
West Edmonton Mall (#2690, 8882 170 Street)
November 6, 2008 to January 24, 2009
Tickets: 780-484-2424 or Toll Free 1-877-214-2424
www.jubilations.ca
Monday, December 01, 2008
Theatre This Week & Improv Jam! Thursday December 11, 2008
Not doing anything Thursday, December 11th? Do you like Improv? Do you like free things? Maybe you live in Sherwood Park... Or you don't mind coming out there... Hey, tell me if you need a ride. I've got wheels... Why am I asking you all these questions??
Well, I've got news for you. If you didn't hear all the buzz, There's a new kid near town. "Tales From The Improv Zone", Sherwood Park's Licensed Theatresports Troupe. And they want to see you at Festival Place: www.festivalplace.ab.ca/festivalplace/find.php
Things get under way at 7:00 pm, and if you like it, you can start coming back. And then you'll be addicted. And there's nothing quite like the crack that is improv, I tell you what.
But if that's not your thing, check out all the great things going on this week:
"Seussical" (St. Albert Children's Theatre)
Arden Theatre (St. Albert Place, 5 St. Anne Street, St. Albert, AB)
November 27, 2008 to December 7, 2008
Tickets: 780-459-1542, www.ticketmaster.ca
www.sact.ca
"A Christmas Carol" (Citadel Theatre)
McLab Theatre (9828 101A Avenue)
November 28, 2008 to December 23, 2008
Tickets: 780-425-1820 or Toll Free 1-888-425-1820 or at:
www.citadeltheatre.com
"Without You: Studio Theatre World Premiere" (Studio Theatre)
Timms Centre for the Arts (87 Ave & 112 St)
November 27, 2008 to December 6, 2008
Tickets: 780-420-1757 or www.tixonthesquare.ca
www.drama.ualberta.ca
"The Blonde, The Brunette and The Vengeful Redhead" (Citadel Theatre)
Shoctor Theatre (9828 101A Avenue)
November 15, 2008 to December 7, 2008
Tickets: 780-425-1820 or Toll Free 1-888-425-1820 or at:
www.citadeltheatre.com
"Sailor's Song" (Trunk Theatre)
Roxy Theatre (10708 124 Street)
December 4, 2008 to December 14, 2008
Tickets: 780-420-1752 or www.tixonthesquare.com
more information at: www.attheroxy.com
John D. Huston Presents “A Christmas Carol” (Blue Chair Cafe)
Blue Chair Cafe (9624 76 ave)
December 4, 2008
Tickets: 780-989-2861
www.bluechair.ca
"Monthly STORY CAFE: Perfect Gifts" (T.A.L.E.S. Edmonton)
Rosie's Bar and Grill (10475- 80 Ave)
December 4, 2008
Tickets: At the Door; Pay What You Will ($6 minimum)
www.ecn.ab.ca/~tales/
"Little Red Riding Hood" (Alberta Opera Musical Theatre for Young People)
Transalta Arts Barns (10330 84 Avenue)
December 5, 2008 to December 7, 2008
Tickets: 780-409-1910 or www.fringetheatreadventures.ca
ao.newglobemedia.com
Lights Up Presents: "Like the 5 Fingers on your Hand" (Bouge de là Dance Company)
Shell Theatre (8700 84 Street, Fort Saskatchewan AB)
December 5, 2008
Tickets: 780-992-6400, or 780-451-8000 www.ticketmaster.ca
www.bougedela.org
"The V.I.P. Kids Show!" (Varscona Saturday Morning Children's Series)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
December 6, 2008
Tickets: 780-420-1757 or www.tixonthesquare.com
www.varsconatheatre.org
"Die-Nasty! Season 18: The French Renovation" (Die-Nasty Improv)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
Every Monday at 8 PM
Tickets: 780-433-3399 (Mailbox #1) or 780-707-7964
www.die-nastyimprov.com
"Theatresports" (Rapid Fire Theatre)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
Every Friday at 11pm
Tickets: At the door or reserve ahead at 780-448-0695
www.rapidfiretheatre.com
"CHiMPROV" (Rapid Fire Theatre)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
Every Saturday except the last of the month at 11pm
Tickets: At the door or reserve ahead at 780-448-0695
www.rapidfiretheatre.com
"Oh Susanna!"
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
The last Saturday of the month at 11 pm
Tickets: 780-433-3399
www.varsconatheatre.org
"Peace, Love & Rock N' Roll: And The Beat Goes On!" (Mayfield Dinner Theatre)
Mayfield Inn and Suites (16615 109 Avenue)
November 7, 2008 to February 15, 2009
Tickets: 780-483-4051 or Toll Free 1-877-529-7829, or at: www.mayfieldtheatre.ca
"Pirates of the North Saskatchewan II" (Jubilations Dinner Theatre)
West Edmonton Mall (#2690, 8882 170 Street)
November 6, 2008 to January 24, 2009
Tickets: 780-484-2424 or Toll Free 1-877-214-2424
www.jubilations.ca
Well, I've got news for you. If you didn't hear all the buzz, There's a new kid near town. "Tales From The Improv Zone", Sherwood Park's Licensed Theatresports Troupe. And they want to see you at Festival Place: www.festivalplace.ab.ca/festivalplace/find.php
Things get under way at 7:00 pm, and if you like it, you can start coming back. And then you'll be addicted. And there's nothing quite like the crack that is improv, I tell you what.
But if that's not your thing, check out all the great things going on this week:
"Seussical" (St. Albert Children's Theatre)
Arden Theatre (St. Albert Place, 5 St. Anne Street, St. Albert, AB)
November 27, 2008 to December 7, 2008
Tickets: 780-459-1542, www.ticketmaster.ca
www.sact.ca
"A Christmas Carol" (Citadel Theatre)
McLab Theatre (9828 101A Avenue)
November 28, 2008 to December 23, 2008
Tickets: 780-425-1820 or Toll Free 1-888-425-1820 or at:
www.citadeltheatre.com
"Without You: Studio Theatre World Premiere" (Studio Theatre)
Timms Centre for the Arts (87 Ave & 112 St)
November 27, 2008 to December 6, 2008
Tickets: 780-420-1757 or www.tixonthesquare.ca
www.drama.ualberta.ca
"The Blonde, The Brunette and The Vengeful Redhead" (Citadel Theatre)
Shoctor Theatre (9828 101A Avenue)
November 15, 2008 to December 7, 2008
Tickets: 780-425-1820 or Toll Free 1-888-425-1820 or at:
www.citadeltheatre.com
"Sailor's Song" (Trunk Theatre)
Roxy Theatre (10708 124 Street)
December 4, 2008 to December 14, 2008
Tickets: 780-420-1752 or www.tixonthesquare.com
more information at: www.attheroxy.com
John D. Huston Presents “A Christmas Carol” (Blue Chair Cafe)
Blue Chair Cafe (9624 76 ave)
December 4, 2008
Tickets: 780-989-2861
www.bluechair.ca
"Monthly STORY CAFE: Perfect Gifts" (T.A.L.E.S. Edmonton)
Rosie's Bar and Grill (10475- 80 Ave)
December 4, 2008
Tickets: At the Door; Pay What You Will ($6 minimum)
www.ecn.ab.ca/~tales/
"Little Red Riding Hood" (Alberta Opera Musical Theatre for Young People)
Transalta Arts Barns (10330 84 Avenue)
December 5, 2008 to December 7, 2008
Tickets: 780-409-1910 or www.fringetheatreadventures.ca
ao.newglobemedia.com
Lights Up Presents: "Like the 5 Fingers on your Hand" (Bouge de là Dance Company)
Shell Theatre (8700 84 Street, Fort Saskatchewan AB)
December 5, 2008
Tickets: 780-992-6400, or 780-451-8000 www.ticketmaster.ca
www.bougedela.org
"The V.I.P. Kids Show!" (Varscona Saturday Morning Children's Series)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
December 6, 2008
Tickets: 780-420-1757 or www.tixonthesquare.com
www.varsconatheatre.org
"Die-Nasty! Season 18: The French Renovation" (Die-Nasty Improv)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
Every Monday at 8 PM
Tickets: 780-433-3399 (Mailbox #1) or 780-707-7964
www.die-nastyimprov.com
"Theatresports" (Rapid Fire Theatre)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
Every Friday at 11pm
Tickets: At the door or reserve ahead at 780-448-0695
www.rapidfiretheatre.com
"CHiMPROV" (Rapid Fire Theatre)
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
Every Saturday except the last of the month at 11pm
Tickets: At the door or reserve ahead at 780-448-0695
www.rapidfiretheatre.com
"Oh Susanna!"
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
The last Saturday of the month at 11 pm
Tickets: 780-433-3399
www.varsconatheatre.org
"Peace, Love & Rock N' Roll: And The Beat Goes On!" (Mayfield Dinner Theatre)
Mayfield Inn and Suites (16615 109 Avenue)
November 7, 2008 to February 15, 2009
Tickets: 780-483-4051 or Toll Free 1-877-529-7829, or at: www.mayfieldtheatre.ca
"Pirates of the North Saskatchewan II" (Jubilations Dinner Theatre)
West Edmonton Mall (#2690, 8882 170 Street)
November 6, 2008 to January 24, 2009
Tickets: 780-484-2424 or Toll Free 1-877-214-2424
www.jubilations.ca
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Curtains Up?
So, I'm thinking about posting theatre events around town again... But I may need some of your help to tell me what I missed and fill in some details. Also, sincere apologies that some of these are late. This is kind of the prototype. As for now:
"Seussical" (St. Albert Children's Theatre)
Arden Theatre (St. Albert Place, 5 St. Anne Street, St. Albert, AB)
November 27, 2008 to December 7, 2008
Tickets: 780-459-1542, www.ticketmaster.ca
www.sact.ca
"Ring Around The Moon" (DR 456 BFA Acting 2nd Year)
Corner Stage (89 Ave and 112 St, Fine Arts Building)
November 27, 2008 to November 30, 2008
Tickets: Those crazy cats don't mention on the internet any way to get tickets... I hope it's a public performance. They actually don't mention what time it runs either... Perhaps a poster or two over at the U of A would clear that up.
www.drama.ualberta.ca
"Village of Idiots" (Victoria School of Performing and Visual Arts)
Eva O. Howard Theatre (Victoria School: 101 St and Kingsway Ave)
November 24, 2008 to November 29, 2008
Tickets: 780-426-3010
www.victoria-school.ca
"Three Little Birds" (Workshop West Theatre)
Catalyst Theatre (8529 Gateway Blvd)
November 20, 2008 to November 30, 2008
Tickets: At the Door or www.tixonthesquare.ca
www.workshopwest.org
"A Christmas Carol" (Citadel Theatre)
McLab Theatre (9828 101A Avenue)
November 28, 2008 to December 23, 2008
Tickets: 780-425-1820 or Toll Free 1-888-425-1820 or at:
www.citadeltheatre.com
"The Three Musketeers" (Horizon Players)
Horizon Stage (1001 Calahoo Road, Spruce Grove AB)
November 27, 2008 to November 29, 2008
Tickets: 780-962-8995 or www.horizonstage.com
www.horizonplayers.com
"Chang O: The Lady of the Moon - A Cantonese Opera" (ICPA Edmonton)
Northern Alberta Jubilee Auditorium (11455 87th Avenue)
November 29, 2008
Tickets: 780-451-8000 or www.ticketmaster.ca
"Without You: Studio Theatre World Premiere" (Studio Theatre)
Timms Centre for the Arts (87 Ave & 112 St)
November 27, 2008 to December 6, 2008
Tickets: 780-420-1757 or www.tixonthesquare.ca
www.drama.ualberta.ca
"The Blonde, The Brunette and The Vengeful Redhead" (Citadel Theatre)
Shoctor Theatre (9828 101A Avenue)
November 15, 2008 to December 7, 2008
Tickets: 780-425-1820 or Toll Free 1-888-425-1820 or at:
www.citadeltheatre.com
"Extremities" (Guts&Guile Productions)
The Third Space (11516 103 Street)
November 21, 2008 to November 30, 2008
Tickets: 780-420-1757 or www.tixonthesquare.ca
"laFura: World Premiere" (Brian Webb Dance Company)
John L. Haar Theatre (10045 156 Street)
November 28, 2008 to November 29, 2008
Tickets: 780-420-1757 or www.tixonthesquare.ca
www.bwdc.ca
"Su-Kat" (Azimuth Theatre)
The Living Room Playhouse (11315 106 Ave)
November 13, 2008 to November 29, 2008
Tickets: 780-454-0583
www.azimuththeatre.com
"Oh Susanna!"
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
The last Saturday of the month at 11 pm
Tickets: Seriously, I don't know. At the door? Try calling Varscona: 780-433-3399
www.varsconatheatre.org
"Peace, Love & Rock N' Roll: And The Beat Goes On!" (Mayfield Dinner Theatre)
Mayfield Inn and Suites (16615 109 Avenue)
November 7, 2008 to February 15, 2009
Tickets: 780-483-4051 or Toll Free 1-877-529-7829, or at: www.mayfieldtheatre.ca
"Pirates of the North Saskatchewan II" (Jubilations Dinner Theatre)
West Edmonton Mall (#2690, 8882 170 Street)
November 6, 2008 to January 24, 2009
Tickets: 780-484-2424 or Toll Free 1-877-214-2424
www.jubilations.ca
"Seussical" (St. Albert Children's Theatre)
Arden Theatre (St. Albert Place, 5 St. Anne Street, St. Albert, AB)
November 27, 2008 to December 7, 2008
Tickets: 780-459-1542, www.ticketmaster.ca
www.sact.ca
"Ring Around The Moon" (DR 456 BFA Acting 2nd Year)
Corner Stage (89 Ave and 112 St, Fine Arts Building)
November 27, 2008 to November 30, 2008
Tickets: Those crazy cats don't mention on the internet any way to get tickets... I hope it's a public performance. They actually don't mention what time it runs either... Perhaps a poster or two over at the U of A would clear that up.
www.drama.ualberta.ca
"Village of Idiots" (Victoria School of Performing and Visual Arts)
Eva O. Howard Theatre (Victoria School: 101 St and Kingsway Ave)
November 24, 2008 to November 29, 2008
Tickets: 780-426-3010
www.victoria-school.ca
"Three Little Birds" (Workshop West Theatre)
Catalyst Theatre (8529 Gateway Blvd)
November 20, 2008 to November 30, 2008
Tickets: At the Door or www.tixonthesquare.ca
www.workshopwest.org
"A Christmas Carol" (Citadel Theatre)
McLab Theatre (9828 101A Avenue)
November 28, 2008 to December 23, 2008
Tickets: 780-425-1820 or Toll Free 1-888-425-1820 or at:
www.citadeltheatre.com
"The Three Musketeers" (Horizon Players)
Horizon Stage (1001 Calahoo Road, Spruce Grove AB)
November 27, 2008 to November 29, 2008
Tickets: 780-962-8995 or www.horizonstage.com
www.horizonplayers.com
"Chang O: The Lady of the Moon - A Cantonese Opera" (ICPA Edmonton)
Northern Alberta Jubilee Auditorium (11455 87th Avenue)
November 29, 2008
Tickets: 780-451-8000 or www.ticketmaster.ca
"Without You: Studio Theatre World Premiere" (Studio Theatre)
Timms Centre for the Arts (87 Ave & 112 St)
November 27, 2008 to December 6, 2008
Tickets: 780-420-1757 or www.tixonthesquare.ca
www.drama.ualberta.ca
"The Blonde, The Brunette and The Vengeful Redhead" (Citadel Theatre)
Shoctor Theatre (9828 101A Avenue)
November 15, 2008 to December 7, 2008
Tickets: 780-425-1820 or Toll Free 1-888-425-1820 or at:
www.citadeltheatre.com
"Extremities" (Guts&Guile Productions)
The Third Space (11516 103 Street)
November 21, 2008 to November 30, 2008
Tickets: 780-420-1757 or www.tixonthesquare.ca
"laFura: World Premiere" (Brian Webb Dance Company)
John L. Haar Theatre (10045 156 Street)
November 28, 2008 to November 29, 2008
Tickets: 780-420-1757 or www.tixonthesquare.ca
www.bwdc.ca
"Su-Kat" (Azimuth Theatre)
The Living Room Playhouse (11315 106 Ave)
November 13, 2008 to November 29, 2008
Tickets: 780-454-0583
www.azimuththeatre.com
"Oh Susanna!"
Varscona Theatre (10329 83 Ave)
The last Saturday of the month at 11 pm
Tickets: Seriously, I don't know. At the door? Try calling Varscona: 780-433-3399
www.varsconatheatre.org
"Peace, Love & Rock N' Roll: And The Beat Goes On!" (Mayfield Dinner Theatre)
Mayfield Inn and Suites (16615 109 Avenue)
November 7, 2008 to February 15, 2009
Tickets: 780-483-4051 or Toll Free 1-877-529-7829, or at: www.mayfieldtheatre.ca
"Pirates of the North Saskatchewan II" (Jubilations Dinner Theatre)
West Edmonton Mall (#2690, 8882 170 Street)
November 6, 2008 to January 24, 2009
Tickets: 780-484-2424 or Toll Free 1-877-214-2424
www.jubilations.ca
Thursday, November 06, 2008
She's a Mighty Good Writer
After watching a few "film festival" movies recently, I've come to this conclusion:
Witty and eloquent writing? Excellent.
Witty and eloquent dialogue? Grates on my nerves.
I mean it. I don't mind reading it, I just have a problem hearing it.
Nice getting that off my chest.
Witty and eloquent writing? Excellent.
Witty and eloquent dialogue? Grates on my nerves.
I mean it. I don't mind reading it, I just have a problem hearing it.
Nice getting that off my chest.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
MSN's CelebEdge? You're fired.
In a recent MSN's CelebEdge, fun was poked at all those loser celebrities for dressing up in their lame costumes.
Amongst the targets? Corey Feldman and Corey Haim, for dressing up in "Lost Boys" costumes (albeit not top notch, but probably on purpose).
Here's the part that bugs me: The article writer (who wisely does not identify themselves)complains at the way these celebrities aren't even trying, and then goes on to write a completely lazy and non-researched article about it!
Ah, irony.
Here's what the writer says about Corey Feldman's obvious Vampire Slayer costume:
"Corey Feldman
Sin: Dressing Up As Nothing
Committed By: Thinking we'd believe dressing in all black is a costume just because he's holding a sword.
Tip: If you don't have a costume at the last minute, every closet has a hobo just waiting to be thrown together. It's a last resort, but at least it's a costume, unlike velvet pants."
The sword? It's a stake, you boob.
And then there was Corey Haim:
Corey Haim
Sin: Not Dressing Up
Committed By: Wearing street clothes to what is obviously a Halloween-themed event. Infinitely worse than Dressing Up As Nothing.
Tip: Half-ass is better than no ass.
The funny thing is, I've never Seen Lost Boys, and I knew these were Lost Boys costumes. Even Corey Haim's supposed "street clothes" are from that movie.
The moral of the story? Don't complain that everyone is being half-assed when you can't tell your ass from your elbow.
mmkay?
Amongst the targets? Corey Feldman and Corey Haim, for dressing up in "Lost Boys" costumes (albeit not top notch, but probably on purpose).
Here's the part that bugs me: The article writer (who wisely does not identify themselves)complains at the way these celebrities aren't even trying, and then goes on to write a completely lazy and non-researched article about it!
Ah, irony.
Here's what the writer says about Corey Feldman's obvious Vampire Slayer costume:
"Corey Feldman
Sin: Dressing Up As Nothing
Committed By: Thinking we'd believe dressing in all black is a costume just because he's holding a sword.
Tip: If you don't have a costume at the last minute, every closet has a hobo just waiting to be thrown together. It's a last resort, but at least it's a costume, unlike velvet pants."
The sword? It's a stake, you boob.
And then there was Corey Haim:
Corey Haim
Sin: Not Dressing Up
Committed By: Wearing street clothes to what is obviously a Halloween-themed event. Infinitely worse than Dressing Up As Nothing.
Tip: Half-ass is better than no ass.
The funny thing is, I've never Seen Lost Boys, and I knew these were Lost Boys costumes. Even Corey Haim's supposed "street clothes" are from that movie.
The moral of the story? Don't complain that everyone is being half-assed when you can't tell your ass from your elbow.
mmkay?
Sunday, November 02, 2008
About Sean Cullen; How am I Supposed to Feel?
Apparently, I cannot survive without television.
As I work at my Compy 2000, I tend to watch the Comedy Network on my '80's Samsung 13 inch screen. And who is having his own special today?
Sean Cullen.
Yeah, I know. There should be an accent over the "e" in Sean, but who really gives a flying frick. My point is, as a Canadian, am I supposed to love Sean Cullen by default?
Let's look at the positives: Corky and the Juice Pigs. Very funny, especially "Remember", that REM parody... Awesome.
That's the only positive I can recall.
Let's look at the negatives:
1. The accent. I don't even know what sort of accent that's supposed to be. Pseudo-british?
2. The Food of Your Choice... Some of the worst improv I've ever seen in my life. Seriously.
3. The Costume Changes. Ooo! I'm going to dress up like an old woman and do the EXACT SAME ACT!! Hmmmm...
4. The Jokes. Here, I'll write one right now: "I am feeling old. Old like the slime on the walls of some ancient castle, old like the drool on Grandpa's chin... old... old like the Pope just before he careened into a death pool with all the various things swimming in it, swimming and drowning like oh so many drowning things... With fruits and vegetables being boiled in the deep by some sort of soup chef... a soup chef with a funny hat and a shovel in his ear...".
5. The facial expression. How does he hold that "I'm going to tell you a saucy story" face for as long as he does?
I could go on, but he might read this some day, so I think I'll stop.
But really, I guess I should just be supportive; It's the rare Canadian comedian that becomes an actual celebrity. Sure, he certainly hasn't made it in the states, but here, why he's our Whoopi Goldberg, our Billy Crystal, our comedian-that-isn't-truly-hilarious-but-never-says-anything-offensive-enough-to-worry-about-them-ruining-the-reputation-of-the-station special guest host.
He's mostly harmless. I don't know why I'm picking on him today, other than to pose this question:
Should I learn to love Sean, like a stepbrother that I'm not fond of, but have to live with, or am I allowed to criticize him? You be the judge.
As I work at my Compy 2000, I tend to watch the Comedy Network on my '80's Samsung 13 inch screen. And who is having his own special today?
Sean Cullen.
Yeah, I know. There should be an accent over the "e" in Sean, but who really gives a flying frick. My point is, as a Canadian, am I supposed to love Sean Cullen by default?
Let's look at the positives: Corky and the Juice Pigs. Very funny, especially "Remember", that REM parody... Awesome.
That's the only positive I can recall.
Let's look at the negatives:
1. The accent. I don't even know what sort of accent that's supposed to be. Pseudo-british?
2. The Food of Your Choice... Some of the worst improv I've ever seen in my life. Seriously.
3. The Costume Changes. Ooo! I'm going to dress up like an old woman and do the EXACT SAME ACT!! Hmmmm...
4. The Jokes. Here, I'll write one right now: "I am feeling old. Old like the slime on the walls of some ancient castle, old like the drool on Grandpa's chin... old... old like the Pope just before he careened into a death pool with all the various things swimming in it, swimming and drowning like oh so many drowning things... With fruits and vegetables being boiled in the deep by some sort of soup chef... a soup chef with a funny hat and a shovel in his ear...".
5. The facial expression. How does he hold that "I'm going to tell you a saucy story" face for as long as he does?
I could go on, but he might read this some day, so I think I'll stop.
But really, I guess I should just be supportive; It's the rare Canadian comedian that becomes an actual celebrity. Sure, he certainly hasn't made it in the states, but here, why he's our Whoopi Goldberg, our Billy Crystal, our comedian-that-isn't-truly-hilarious-but-never-says-anything-offensive-enough-to-worry-about-them-ruining-the-reputation-of-the-station special guest host.
He's mostly harmless. I don't know why I'm picking on him today, other than to pose this question:
Should I learn to love Sean, like a stepbrother that I'm not fond of, but have to live with, or am I allowed to criticize him? You be the judge.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Would You like Fries With Your Olympic Hero?
So McDonald's is putting pictures of Canadian Olympic athletes on their placemats.
I walk back to my table, tray full of guilt, shame, and extreme satisfaction. On it: Cola, freedom fries, and a 1/4 of beef mushed between buns... oh, and an Olympian's smile.
My fries are fresh, so I spill them onto his face, because if I didn't want them to be way too hot. I'm more of a mayonnaise man, so I squirt 3 packets onto his neck. I have a bit of a short break, so I'm slopping a bit of ketchup out of my burger onto his forehead.
20 minutes later, I've cleared my tray. A grease-covered, salty mug with what appears to be a severe head wound beams at me.
So I'd like to apologize to Canadian athletes everywhere. The scene I described will repeat itself until you run/swim/fling yourself around in a circle/hurl yourself through the air using a stick... or all those other crazy things you do... just so you can get a chance to wear some metal around your neck.
Go Canada Go!
I walk back to my table, tray full of guilt, shame, and extreme satisfaction. On it: Cola, freedom fries, and a 1/4 of beef mushed between buns... oh, and an Olympian's smile.
My fries are fresh, so I spill them onto his face, because if I didn't want them to be way too hot. I'm more of a mayonnaise man, so I squirt 3 packets onto his neck. I have a bit of a short break, so I'm slopping a bit of ketchup out of my burger onto his forehead.
20 minutes later, I've cleared my tray. A grease-covered, salty mug with what appears to be a severe head wound beams at me.
So I'd like to apologize to Canadian athletes everywhere. The scene I described will repeat itself until you run/swim/fling yourself around in a circle/hurl yourself through the air using a stick... or all those other crazy things you do... just so you can get a chance to wear some metal around your neck.
Go Canada Go!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
45, 45, 45...
...and I can't get enough of them.
For those of you who are into those super-fast spinning wonders called "Compact Discs", I would like to introduce you to their slower, bigger cousin: The 45.
Called this because they rotate at 45 revolutions per minute (or rotations, whatever), these black dinosaurs are making a comeback at hip record boutiques where so-called bohemians sport salon haircuts and wear impossibly expensive clothes (but that's another subject). My father just so happened to collect dozens of them back in the late 50's and throughout the 60's, and I've taken it upon myself to rip them into MP3s and/or transfer them to those silver thingies I mentioned earlier.
The whole experience is breathtaking (and not just because of the black mold growing on them due to the flooded basement they lived in); It's like a journey through time. It's a slice of Edmonton's history. I get to listen to Wes Dakus (orignally from Mannville, Alberta) and his "Club 93 Rebels"-- By the way, Club 93, a radio station, was what all the kids listened to back in the day-- and CJSR regulars Willie and the Walkers (coincidentally, produced by Wes Dakus).
Blah Blah Blah.
I also get to hear all the scratches and pops that prove how loved and listened to these records were, and I get to smell the vinyl and rubber drive belt that spins these audible time capsules. I know, I'm one fuck of a loser, but I love it.
I also get to remember playing these very records as a kid on my own portable system, the very same system my dad used to carry around and show off his latest finds.
Sniff.
Anyway. It's good stuff. And I'm going to save them all. A-sides and B-sides. Shit and Classics. Common and Rare.
I have a headache from all the fungi (impending case of stachybotryotoxicosis, here I come), but excuse me, I think I have a heartache for the tunes.
For those of you who are into those super-fast spinning wonders called "Compact Discs", I would like to introduce you to their slower, bigger cousin: The 45.
Called this because they rotate at 45 revolutions per minute (or rotations, whatever), these black dinosaurs are making a comeback at hip record boutiques where so-called bohemians sport salon haircuts and wear impossibly expensive clothes (but that's another subject). My father just so happened to collect dozens of them back in the late 50's and throughout the 60's, and I've taken it upon myself to rip them into MP3s and/or transfer them to those silver thingies I mentioned earlier.
The whole experience is breathtaking (and not just because of the black mold growing on them due to the flooded basement they lived in); It's like a journey through time. It's a slice of Edmonton's history. I get to listen to Wes Dakus (orignally from Mannville, Alberta) and his "Club 93 Rebels"-- By the way, Club 93, a radio station, was what all the kids listened to back in the day-- and CJSR regulars Willie and the Walkers (coincidentally, produced by Wes Dakus).
Blah Blah Blah.
I also get to hear all the scratches and pops that prove how loved and listened to these records were, and I get to smell the vinyl and rubber drive belt that spins these audible time capsules. I know, I'm one fuck of a loser, but I love it.
I also get to remember playing these very records as a kid on my own portable system, the very same system my dad used to carry around and show off his latest finds.
Sniff.
Anyway. It's good stuff. And I'm going to save them all. A-sides and B-sides. Shit and Classics. Common and Rare.
I have a headache from all the fungi (impending case of stachybotryotoxicosis, here I come), but excuse me, I think I have a heartache for the tunes.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Catch Phrase? Catchy!
When I drive to work, I sometimes find myself listening to Edmonton's Modern Rock Station, Sonic 1029... They have a new Morning news guy, and you'll never guess what he's got.
A Catch Phrase.
Before he starts the news, he says "And here's what you need to know!". Or something like that. I kind of feel like I'm being transported back in time 40 or 50 years, when I'm sure every DJ / Announcer / Personality had their own tag line.
Which got me to thinking; I need one.
Yes. A catch phrase for Shawn. But not for theatre; for answering the phones at work. Some of you might not know this, but I'm on the phone all day for a major Pipe supplier now. I am answering the phone constantly every day. Wouldn't it be a treat for my loyal customers to get greeted with something like this:
"Shawn here; If you're looking for pipe, we've got your type."
"Dr. Shawn here; I have the cure for your pipe disease."
"Whazzup, Alleyall? Shawn'z in da hizzy wit' tha pizipe..."
Hmm. Or maybe just:
"Shawn here; You buy it! YOU BUY IT!!!"
My sales will go through the roof.
A Catch Phrase.
Before he starts the news, he says "And here's what you need to know!". Or something like that. I kind of feel like I'm being transported back in time 40 or 50 years, when I'm sure every DJ / Announcer / Personality had their own tag line.
Which got me to thinking; I need one.
Yes. A catch phrase for Shawn. But not for theatre; for answering the phones at work. Some of you might not know this, but I'm on the phone all day for a major Pipe supplier now. I am answering the phone constantly every day. Wouldn't it be a treat for my loyal customers to get greeted with something like this:
"Shawn here; If you're looking for pipe, we've got your type."
"Dr. Shawn here; I have the cure for your pipe disease."
"Whazzup, Alleyall? Shawn'z in da hizzy wit' tha pizipe..."
Hmm. Or maybe just:
"Shawn here; You buy it! YOU BUY IT!!!"
My sales will go through the roof.
Friday, April 25, 2008
10 Clownmandments. Yeah, I said it.
So, to all the students from the workshop today:
1. Live In the Present moment With No Fear of Consequence.
2. Accept Yourself Unconditionally. Physically, Emotionally, and Intellectually.
3. Generate Creative Alternatives without judgment.
4. Combine the Innocence of the Child You Were With the Experience of the Older Person you have become.
5. See Everything For the First Time.
6. Express Eveything to the Fullest.
7. Let Your Feelings Go After you Express them.
8. Forget the Meaning of the Word "Mistake".
9. Break Every Rule But Your Own.
10. Live Life always acting from the Heart.
Any questions?
1. Live In the Present moment With No Fear of Consequence.
2. Accept Yourself Unconditionally. Physically, Emotionally, and Intellectually.
3. Generate Creative Alternatives without judgment.
4. Combine the Innocence of the Child You Were With the Experience of the Older Person you have become.
5. See Everything For the First Time.
6. Express Eveything to the Fullest.
7. Let Your Feelings Go After you Express them.
8. Forget the Meaning of the Word "Mistake".
9. Break Every Rule But Your Own.
10. Live Life always acting from the Heart.
Any questions?
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Direct Energy versus... Direct Energy?
The following is a letter I sent to Global TV's "Troubleshooter":
Good Afternoon,
My name is Shawn Pallier, and I am writing you because I would like to help inform the public about a troubling way Direct Energy is conducting business.
In February, I was contacted by a Direct Energy telemarketer. They said that they were giving me the opportunity to put both my gas and electricity on the same bill, seeing that the market had become de-regulated. There was a casual and no-risk, cancel-at-any time offer made, so I took the bait.
I decided I would try their budget program. In mid-April, I was greeted with what I thought was my first bill; A whopping $541.74.
I immediately contacted Direct Energy to let them know I didn't feel this was a very good budget plan. I was hoping they would tell me that this was simply an opening bill, and that future payments would be much smaller. I was still upset, but would have swallowed that. Instead, I was informed my account was closed, and that I would have to settle my "Debits" due to the fact that I was moving on to a different company (I imagine she meant "Debts").
I said that I understood that if I was moving to a different company, that would be fine, but I was staying with Direct Energy and I was simply adding my Electricity. I was then informed that I had, in fact, moved on to a different company: Direct Energy(?).
Turns out that there is a difference between Direct Energy Regulated Services and Direct Energy. Maybe the more savvy bill-payer knows this, but they have the same logo and parent-company. They even have the same letterhead (with a much smaller "Regulated Services" under the bold Direct Energy).
I then had to call Direct Energy (you know, the other Direct Energy... not confusing at all, is it) to ask them to perhaps merge this closing-account payment with the opening of my new account to take away the sting. A supervisor at Direct Energy told me that this would be illegal, seeing that this would be 2 different companies sharing information. The government would never allow that, she said.
Even if it was unintentional (or is it?) I feel Direct Energy (the parent company) should be more responsible than to offer such a deal in February, knowing that anybody on a budget plan would be in debt to Direct Energy at that time. All those winter-months, I was underpaying, but during the spring and summer, I'd be over-paying to compensate. I will not be allowed to do that.
In a frustrated moment, the supervisor admitted to me that this type of marketing is being done to "phase out" Direct Energy Regulated Services. I thank her for confessing on behalf of her company, but I'd appreciate a formal apology and for them to forgive my "closing balance", which they are totally unwilling to cooperate on.
I feel they should forgive the closing balance of anyone who was a victim of this marketing.
I am getting married in a very short time, in early June in fact, and they might feel that this is a small price to pay and that maybe next time I should "know what I'm getting into". But their marketing techniques could mean a lack of funds on what should be the happiest day of my life.
I appreciate the time it took to read this, and look forward to your response.
Regards,
Shawn Pallier
Good Afternoon,
My name is Shawn Pallier, and I am writing you because I would like to help inform the public about a troubling way Direct Energy is conducting business.
In February, I was contacted by a Direct Energy telemarketer. They said that they were giving me the opportunity to put both my gas and electricity on the same bill, seeing that the market had become de-regulated. There was a casual and no-risk, cancel-at-any time offer made, so I took the bait.
I decided I would try their budget program. In mid-April, I was greeted with what I thought was my first bill; A whopping $541.74.
I immediately contacted Direct Energy to let them know I didn't feel this was a very good budget plan. I was hoping they would tell me that this was simply an opening bill, and that future payments would be much smaller. I was still upset, but would have swallowed that. Instead, I was informed my account was closed, and that I would have to settle my "Debits" due to the fact that I was moving on to a different company (I imagine she meant "Debts").
I said that I understood that if I was moving to a different company, that would be fine, but I was staying with Direct Energy and I was simply adding my Electricity. I was then informed that I had, in fact, moved on to a different company: Direct Energy(?).
Turns out that there is a difference between Direct Energy Regulated Services and Direct Energy. Maybe the more savvy bill-payer knows this, but they have the same logo and parent-company. They even have the same letterhead (with a much smaller "Regulated Services" under the bold Direct Energy).
I then had to call Direct Energy (you know, the other Direct Energy... not confusing at all, is it) to ask them to perhaps merge this closing-account payment with the opening of my new account to take away the sting. A supervisor at Direct Energy told me that this would be illegal, seeing that this would be 2 different companies sharing information. The government would never allow that, she said.
Even if it was unintentional (or is it?) I feel Direct Energy (the parent company) should be more responsible than to offer such a deal in February, knowing that anybody on a budget plan would be in debt to Direct Energy at that time. All those winter-months, I was underpaying, but during the spring and summer, I'd be over-paying to compensate. I will not be allowed to do that.
In a frustrated moment, the supervisor admitted to me that this type of marketing is being done to "phase out" Direct Energy Regulated Services. I thank her for confessing on behalf of her company, but I'd appreciate a formal apology and for them to forgive my "closing balance", which they are totally unwilling to cooperate on.
I feel they should forgive the closing balance of anyone who was a victim of this marketing.
I am getting married in a very short time, in early June in fact, and they might feel that this is a small price to pay and that maybe next time I should "know what I'm getting into". But their marketing techniques could mean a lack of funds on what should be the happiest day of my life.
I appreciate the time it took to read this, and look forward to your response.
Regards,
Shawn Pallier
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Hiatus. That's The Way I Like It.
I'm sure 4 or 5 of you might have noticed my little theatre notice board.
Yeah.
I'll get it back up some day. It was like an experiment for me... Part of a big master plan to get back in the game. I hope to start a real theatre website in the fall of this year. You know, with actual useful shit on it.
For serious.
Until then, ramblings again... like this one:
I'm in Safeway. I'm just minding my own business.
I ain't tryin' to cause no trouble.
All of a sudden, I see them: Cripps Apples.
Yep, real Cripps. Right there in the grocery store. I'm thinking to myself, "If I just act cool, nothing will happen."
Think again.
I turn my back to the organic stylings of the Cripps apples... Only to discover Blood Oranges.
That's right. I found myself right between the Bloods and the Cripps.
Don't Panic. Whatever you do, I said to myself, Don't panic.
I just stared straight ahead, wondering what they were thinking about each other, and what might go down. But this, my friends, was a stand-off. Neither parties were moving, and neither parties were backing down.
I count myself lucky, making my way out of the Millwoods Safeway. Somebody else caught in my position might have lost their head, but because of all the crazy stressy shit I've been through lately...
...I was as cool as an English Cucumber.
Yeah.
I'll get it back up some day. It was like an experiment for me... Part of a big master plan to get back in the game. I hope to start a real theatre website in the fall of this year. You know, with actual useful shit on it.
For serious.
Until then, ramblings again... like this one:
I'm in Safeway. I'm just minding my own business.
I ain't tryin' to cause no trouble.
All of a sudden, I see them: Cripps Apples.
Yep, real Cripps. Right there in the grocery store. I'm thinking to myself, "If I just act cool, nothing will happen."
Think again.
I turn my back to the organic stylings of the Cripps apples... Only to discover Blood Oranges.
That's right. I found myself right between the Bloods and the Cripps.
Don't Panic. Whatever you do, I said to myself, Don't panic.
I just stared straight ahead, wondering what they were thinking about each other, and what might go down. But this, my friends, was a stand-off. Neither parties were moving, and neither parties were backing down.
I count myself lucky, making my way out of the Millwoods Safeway. Somebody else caught in my position might have lost their head, but because of all the crazy stressy shit I've been through lately...
...I was as cool as an English Cucumber.
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