Nate Ruess Will Not Take Away the Last Shreds of Masculinity you Desperately Cling To.

"He didn't give you gay, did he?" - Homer Simpson, Episode #168 "Homer's Phobia" (1997).

It seems as if some Sonic 102.9 listeners hate fun (and the band called "fun."). Well, at least a small pocket of Tapout-wearing, white-sunglass-faced lovers of all things douche, probably. The thing is, it seems as soon as a band becomes famous, they are bound to experience backlash (I won't even get into why people like this would listen to a station like Sonic).

So, as per usual, we all profess to hate all things popular with no explanation given (or necessary, I suppose). However, I think the reason most people give them a tough time is this: They look/sound/seem "gay".

Yep, it turns out in our ass-backwards, chicken-shit society, we can hide behind fake names on Facebook and pretty much say any ignorant thing we want these days. Heaven forbid a band or a group of people (for the sake of the UFC crowd, I will refer to these people as "hipsters") doesn't fit into your ultra-masculine stereotypes.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out overcompensation to battle the "gay". It can be done in 10 easy steps:

1. Buy a truck, and remove the muffler, and jack the tires up.
2. Buy a pair of white Oakley sunglasses.
3. Wear only brands that refer to MMA, Racing, Chop Shops, or Tattoos.
4. Be as racist as modern society now allows (this is limitless somehow as of 2001).
5. Talk about American sports all day. Try and name-drop athletes only by their nicknames.
6. Be as aggressive to strangers as possible. Typically, do this behind the wheel of step 1.
7. Blame all your irrational rage on others and mutter "I need a fuckin' cigarette" at least 3 times a day.
8. Tell everyone via social media how much you hate things that don't involve steps 1-7.
9. Gather together in groups of clones of yourself every weekend and talk about or watch things involving steps 1, 3, 4, and 5, and at 2 AM walk down the street drunkenly re-enacting step 6 (a little more punchy now), and then mutter step 7.
10. The most important step: Hate everything "gay" and remind your "not gay" friends that you still hate "gay" things by obsessively talking about "gay" things and how much you hate them.

There. Now you'll fit in. You're welcome.