In Regards to the Ego Yet Again.

Ah, the wondrous return of the blog to what it's supposed to be - a diary that other people can read, but most likely will not.

At one time, I had a well-read blog. It attracted a lot of attention and views. In fact, it was this one. And then came Facebook and Twitter. Also known as the death of the personal blog.

Blogs still have a place in the world - If someone has a business or hobby that they want to share pointers on, or try to get a few more clients, it's perfect for them... As far as a sad little corner for people to whine about their personal lives go, alas, this is more of a Facebook thing now, and can be limited to much shorter entries.

But sometimes, personal life-whining needs more space to stretch it's legs.

I've been doing Improv on stage since 1994. I've pretty much been doing it every year since then, and I still do it almost once a week. Hell, a few years ago, I did it 3 times a week. Seriously.

So it it really my ego that gets in the way of criticism? Can you still tell me that now? I suppose you can, but you'd be wrong.

I've taken criticism from everyone - From teachers, mentors, theatre gurus, theatre rookies, random adults, college and university kids, teens, and children. I've got everything from where I need to improve to more or less "I hate what you do". And I take it with a smile on my face and I listen.

But would it kill some people to give me a little respect now and then?

I'm really happy that the group I'm with now, Tales From the Improv Zone, is totally supportive. They continue to give me pointers, but also let me put in my two cents. Some even are very flattering in their comments (cough... Chad), and that gives them permission, in my opinion, to be blunt with me when there's something I need to work on.

Most other people out there have one or two nice things to say, but rather infrequently about my abilities. It's more about my great attitude and sticktoitiveness. Hell, I'd argue the whole thing about me having a good attitude or not with anyone, so I take that with a grain of salt.

Still, despite all the efforts I've put in over the years, there are folks out there that just don't have it in them to give me an ounce of credit. And that stings.

I really enjoy helping to develop new talent, young and old. That's my passion. And it's my fate to frequently see them pass me by and become more successful than me. In all my time, I have never had anyone who really went on to good success in the improv world say thank you to me. In fact, they seem to largely ignore me only a mere few months after moving on to greener pastures. And that's a fact. Not that I'm keeping score or anything. Okay. I'm keeping score.

I've watched them do very well for themselves in art, theatre, and music. Some of them (who should be thankful I'm not naming them) asked me personally for my advice. They came to me for pointers specifically and now have a hard time returning a "Hi" when I pass them on the street.

That stinks.

Sour grapes, I'm just jealous, bitter, blah blah. Nope. I'm just feeling sad.

I hope some day the talented people who know how dedicated I was to them (and still would be if they were still pushing to climb the ladder) realize that I very much so care about Edmonton's theatre community. I love seeing them succeed. I'd enjoy still being a friend to those who have done well, and I'd like it if they saw value in me still.

To be honest, I will remain in this community as long as it will have me, and I will continue to support and mentor new talents. If they don't want to hear what I have to say, that's okay, I will leave them alone. But as many people have said to me "Don't ask me for my opinion if you don't want it."

I feel better now.