Buck Rogers is rolling in his Space Capsule...

So I'm watching the Bugs Bunny and Tweety show this morning... they show one of the late 60's/early 70's Warner Brothers shorts, and for those of us who are Looney Tunes connoiseurs, you know that those particular shorts were terrible. But I got to thinking, just what made them so terrible?

The "Looney Tune" we will examine is the "Duck Dodgers of the 24 & 1/2 Century Episode 2". You know, the one where they crash into a giant egg and discover Marvin the Martian inside (we'll discuss in a moment why that sucks). First off, the mission of "Duck Dodgers" (Daffy Duck) and his Space Cadet (Porky Pig) is to "save trillions of universes from the rack-and-pinion shortage; you know, that stuff you use to polish Yo-Yos with, the voiceover cleverly explains.

Har-dee-har-har.

First off, the average person (and child) know that rack-and-pinion has nothing to do with polishing anything. So right off the bat, the premise is stupid. Just saying dumbass things doesn't make you funny.

So our heroes are off to solve the rack-and-pinion shortage. It appears as if the planet that has the only remaining supply is a giant, egg-shaped one. Duck Dodgers denies that it even looks like an egg, until they crash into it and it cracks, and they discover Marvin the Martian and one of his wacky machines inside.

Har-dee-Har-Har.

At this point, we totally drop the story in favour of the "hilarious" interactions between Marvin and Duck Dodgers. Marvin mentions a "current event" (fuel shortage) and his solution. To solve Earth's fuel shortage problem, he'll blow up Earth. The short gets way way f'n worse at this point.

Duck Dodgers doesn't care that the world is going to get blown up. Oh yeah, and the all-important Yo Yo polish? Never mentioned again.

Out of nowhere, Marvin says "I would like you to meet my friend, Gossamer." Based on this incredibly "sexy" name, Duck Dodgers is immediately smitten with the character, who he assumes is a "space babe from one of those Sci Fi magazines".

Har-dee-fuckin-har-har.

For those of us who already know, Gossamer is a hairy monster in tennish shoes that stands about 15 feet tall. Duck Dodgers inevitably is chased by Gossamer, and Space Cadet saves the day by shaving Gossamer, who was nothing but fur and shoes anyway, he proudly states.

What the fuh? End of Cartoon?

Yep. Ya heard me. Off to solve the universe's Yo-Yo polish problem, A space Hero and his assistant run into Marvin the Martian who is about to blow up the earth. Nobody cares, so we have a side-splitting chase scene with Gossamer that ends with Gossamer being shaved into oblivion, and our heroes...uh...

I hope to god that it was some sort of time edit, and nobody would think that a story like that was worth dragging aging cartoonists out of their storage lockers.

Luckily, that short was quickly followed by a classic, 1950's "Pepe le Peu" short. Now this was a perfect example of a short story.

We open on a man painting a country road in France. He strolls casually, humming "Dinah Blow Votre Horn" (hee hee). Suddenly, a cat being chased by a dog streak around the corner. The Cat squeezes under the road-painting device, giving it a white stripe down it's back. The Dog careens into the man, spilling paint everywhere, and the cat gets away in the chaos.

We switch to Pepe le Peu, who has arrived at a nearby port as a stowaway on a boat. Pepe spots the cat running down the country road, looking very much like a skunk indeed, what with the white stripe and all. A truly hilarious sequence of chases ensues, and the cartoon reaches the conclusion of Pepe persuing love to the very last moment.

And scene.

You see, the problem with the "Duck Dodgers" story is that the writers, animators, sound people... ah hell, everyone involved was trying to re-live the 50's heyday when the Looney Tune shorts were brilliant. They were grasping at past successful characters, groping at too many plot lines, and forgetting how simplicity can, and almost always is, the secret.

Duck Dodgers: At least 3 plot lines. Pepe le Peu: Just the one.

Now, if we have all the time in the world, like at P-jam (1 and 1/2 hours to figure out several plotlines), I don't see any problem in spinning our yarns and getting them all tangled so we have something to unravel and conclude in the end.

But when you've got 5 minutes, that's not a lot of time to begin, middle and end. Hippies weren't the only thing that stunk in the 60's/70's; the cartoons were enough to break a funk-o-meter.

Song of the Day: "Maibelline" by The Head Set. It takes guts to name your song the same name as one of the most legendary Chuck Berry tunes of all time, and then make it look like you misspelled it, and then have it turn out to be an original, enjoyable song. Neat. Listen to it here: www.myspace.com/ladylovinlynx

Link of the Day: http://myspace.com/mybrucebruce The comedian of the day, acccording to Myspace.

Playwright of the Day: Henrik Ibsen (1828-1906)
- This guy is given a lot of credit as being the "father of modern drama"
- Realistic Theatre was his game (a likeness to life, it is the perfect type of theatre to explore relationships)
This is how Wikipedia describes a Realistic Theatre play:
-Always credulous, nothing to test believability in audience
-Audience is never acknowledged
-Dialogue only, no asides, soliloquys or monologues (except when addressed to another onstage character)
-An individual represents a societal problem
-Fourth wall removed convention is strictly followed
-A linear plot with no sub-plots