Changing My Life. Day after Day. Hoo-ray.

So.

I got a job as a DJ.

I quit before it started.

I haven't wrote any more play monologues... Oh wait, I have:

"Vacation time.

The mountains. It was summer, and I hoped having her out of the house would help her feel better. I just wanted her to feel better.

But really, there wasn’t much difference. She seemed the same.
That was, until we got to the lake.

It was late in the evening, and the sun was glistening gold on the surface. And then they started. The fish were leaping out of the water, flipping in midair, and falling back, almost gracefully. And she smiled.

And she watched.

And I could have sat there forever.

The next morning, she was back to the way she was before. Back to normal, I guess.

So I gave her a hug. And then I realized there was a desperation in my hold on her. I was squeezing too tight, and I probably shook her…

I said, “Come on, Mom. Cheer up. We’re on vacation.”

“I just can’t, Shawn. I can’t.”

And I didn’t understand. And that’s the problem. I was trying to decode her, demystify her behaviour in my head. But that was the problem.

It was too simple. No amount of fixing and solving and thought and time and energy and faith could change it.

She just couldn’t. She just couldn’t."

And then, I did 4200 square feet of insulation. Not after the vacation, today at the store. I know, the monologue is kind of written funny, but it is a rough draft. I probably shouldn't have shared it before it was done. Meh. I'm a sharing kind of guy.

The end.