It is one hell of a thing, writing about something that really happened.
Writing about someone that close to you.
I haven't written anything new recently. But I did receive a chain e-mail that warned me "Send this on within 300 seconds or your MOM will DIE!!"
Ha. Joke's on them.
I don't really know if it's okay to have a sense of humor about tragedy. I'm not sure who I offend when I say things like that... It's a very similar sensation to when somebody close to you passes and you feel like you committed the greatest sin by being relieved.
Relieved that they don't have to be in pain any more. Relieved that there might even be an afterlife where they can be at peace. Or even so far as relieved that they might get a second chance in a new life, if that's your thing... But where it starts to feel awful is the relief that you yourself don't have to worry, agonize, and stress yourself out any more about that person... You no longer have to wonder when they will get better, or when they'll get worse. It's the most selfish and crumpling feeling I've ever had.
It was April 6, 2000 when she took her own life. My mother. And it's easy to remember because I love music, and all news I hear is about Kurt Cobain on the 8th. I want to make the most appropriate tribute possible, but it's hard to know just what that is. A play? I want it to be, but then I was watching an old rerun of The Simpsons, And when Lisa was failing at Tap Dancing, Marge and Homer told her that she could still make it big on Broadway by writing a "depressing play" about "coming to terms with things"... No why the hell do I take personal offense to something said on a comedy show over 10 years ago?
I really want it to be somehow uplifting. But it will be what it will be. And it won't be anything if I don't step it up.
Oh yeah, and once I'm finished writing my play, all I've got left is a 2000+ Band Directory I want to have online, a comedy duo that does simultaneous tributes to two different musicians (I'll explain that better some day), and a complete personal and career makeover that I'm going to have to explore before my 10 year High School reunion in June.
But I'm okay. I just needed to burn off some typing steam.
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My best suggestion right now is...blow off your high school reunion! I spent weeks stressing and I's just quit a job I hated and was spending the summer unemployed. The day of I freaked and didn't go. Mike and my folks and I went to the fair instead. It was much more satisfying...
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