Y Kant I Listen to Tori? Or Kan I?

By the way, the opening title is an ubergeek reference to Tori Amos' original album, Y Kant Tori Read. Oh yeah, I'm a know-it-all like that.

I wonder if womyn such as Tori Amos and Ani DiFranco would be okay with the fact that I have some of their music. I don't have a full Ani DiFranco album, but I do have a full Tori one, and I hope that they want men to listen to their music.

Sometimes, I feel like it sure the hell wasn't written for my ears... But it's neat stuff. I mean, who else would cover Eminem like Tori does? WhEEEeeeee.... look at mama...

Evil shit, man. Chilling, sweet.

I'm sure neither of them like to be referred to as "feminists". I think the term is considered to be very yesterday. Like, totally 1998. Yep.

What I'm saying in an extreme round-about way is this: I like their shit. It's good.

That's okay with them, right?

Song of the Day: "Bells On" by Sloan. "If you had a funeral, I'd be there with bells on". Heheh. Now that's what I call lyrics.

Link of the Day: http://www.last.fm According to this site, Tori Amos and Ani DiFranco did a duet. A re-recorded version of perhaps Tori's most famous work, "Silent All These Years". Is that true?

Claire

I was put on hold. They told me I would be speaking to Claire shortly.

Claire is an automated voice response dealy.

The machine was so busy, they put me on hold to speak to it.

*Sigh*

Song of the Day: "Who Taught You To Live Like That" by Sloan. Methinks the next 30 days or so will be Sloan songs. A month of Sloan if you will.

Link of the Day: www.oliverbot.com Talk to a robot. I did.

My Battle with Coke... A-Cola.

Friends, it's time I admit something shameful.

Despite what it does to my body, I'm addicted to Coca-Cola.

It all started when I was a young lad, and my drink of choice used to be Orange Co-Op Pop, or Orange Happy Pop. My family and relatives liked the bargain brands, and my allowance of $5 every two weeks would not allow me to buy Orange Crush.

So happily I drank my orange-flavoured beverages, not knowing the dark, soda-soaked future I would spiral into. Sometimes, during special occasions like the Bobtail Picnic (a big gathering of neighbours and friends near the town of Ponoka) I would drink several Pops in one day. Like 6 or 7... It was a sign of things to come.

The years passed, and my taste for adventure kicked in. One time, when we were ordering pizza, I remember there was a big, two-litre bottle of Coca-Cola.

I decided, "fuck orange, I want some of that stuff. I'm a big kid now".

And it started.

The family rules became lax. I noticed that there was always Coca-Cola in the fridge. Sure, sometimes it was Craigmont Cola, or Safeway Select Cola, but it all started to taste the same to me. Delicious.

Soon, I was combining Cola with Doritos. I was out of control: Cool Ranch, Nacho, Zesty Cheese, and I'm sure my breath made me irresistable to the opposite sex...

By the time I reached college, my habit was up to 3 Colas a day: Lunch, after school, and Evening. Sometimes, even more.

I continued this habit well into last year. I had been warned several times by my dentist to "curb the pop" (that's the exact phrase he used every time). But finally, I hit the end of the road.

My dentist said that if I stopped drinking Cola now, I might be able to save my teeth. You see, Cola has Phosphoric Acid in it, and that stuff is a virtual scouring pad on teeth. And wouldn't you know it? So is citric acid... The stuff in Orange Pop/juice/everything...

So here I sit, with a 100% pure juice, no-sugar-added, carbonated with "Refreshe" drink consisting mainly of Cranberry juice and grape juice, the non-citric kind-of-tasty-if-you-shut-off-your-brain flavours that are safe for me to drink.

And I still find myself missing Cola.

Link of the Day: http://www.killercoke.org Whoa, I didn't know this stuff persay... True? False? You be the judge.

Song of the Day: "Shadows Fall" by The Coral. Remember a time when all you had to say to prove that your were cool was "I'm into the Coral"? It worked in and around 2004-05. Really, it did. Give it a little listen at www.myspace.com/ladylovinlynx

I've Got an Idea For Your Weekend

... And it starts with your friday night. You don't have plans yet, right? Good.

Here's what www.rapidfiretheatre.com says you should do:

"The new season at THEATRESPORTS opens FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 22 at 11 PM. Same time, same place (Varscona Theatre, 10329-83 Ave), THAT date.

RFT’s CHiMPROV season begins the day after, SEPTEMBER 23, with the troupes GIANT ROBOT and YOUNG GUNS!"

So for all my buddies who always somehow find an excuse not to come (my tummy hurts, I'm tired... I'M ONLY 4!! I live in another province!), now is your chance to redeem yourselves.

The King is Dead (or he resigned, I don't remember)

So it has come to pass that King Ralph can go out undefeated.

And that pisses me off.

Okay, so a lot of my friends, relatives, and even my own bosses love him, so who cares what I think, right? Good. Then it's agreed. Everything I say from here forward should not make anyone upset, because all you Klein-lovers can have a big party knowing that you won.

And Alberta lost.

I'm not going to examine the title "King" for too long, other than it describes him perfectly: A ruler with unlimited power.

Who else would offer 10 billion (yes, billion) dollars to any person from Japan during the mad cow crisis (if they got sick from Alberta beef)? Oh yeah, but Klein supporters know that our government has a very limited budget, and that any money cut from health care, social programs, and pretty much anything to do with a cleaner environment is totally reasonable because "There Is...No...More...Money".

Our poor, poor province couldn't possibly put more money into those programs. After all, he never truly intended on shelling out during that beef thingie. That was just to prove a point. He wouldn't have to fork the money over, because nobody would get sick from the beef.

Thanks Pee Wee Herman in "Pee Wee's Big Adventure", you gave Ralph Klein an idea; putting up money that never has to be rewarded. But guess what? We probably could have done it.

But then we wouldn't have a lot of money to throw at people when we went through homeless shelters, now would we?

To get through everything he's done would make this a 10-part series.... Shutting the door on same-sex marriage, blatant descrimination on every level, problem drinking... well, maybe I shouldn't be too judgemental on that last one, but come on. He's supposed to be our Premier.

But the dream for Conservatives is soon over in Alberta. Even a new Conservative could never fill those shoes.

Bye now.

A Light Touch With Reality

Since the dawn of time, man has dreamed of traveling at the speed of light... Or at least since, like, 100 years ago and stuff.

I think it can be done.

Somebody told me recently that it was impossible. But Jiminy Cricket said "nothing's impossible", and he's got issues with lying, so I don't think he'd lie about that.

Now, here's the scoop: Attempting to get the body to travel the speed of light through any traditional/cartoonish means (super-slingshot, rocket, sitting by your mama's bum) would not be the way to go. To use an overused phrase, we must think outside the box.

We must solidify light.

If we solidified light, we could use it as our propulsion system. Simply place ourselves in it's path, and ZOOM!! It's a go.

Now, I realize the human body probably cannot withstand the breakneck, breakspine, and liquefy-eyes-speed of light. Therefore, we must invent a Human Turtle Shell, Or Hurtleshell, as I'm calling the prototype. And we'll need some goggles.

Also, we'll need some sort of vehicle to sit in on our magical journey. I'm thinking a hollowed-out shell of a DeLorean would do. It's wedge-shaped enough, and makes a cheeky reference to a certain awesome trilogy...

We would have to strengthen the DeLorean slightly with some sort of something... I don't know yet. But that's the fun of flying by the seat of your pants... Uh, I mean, seat of your modified DMC-mobile.

Now, the real question to all this creativity is way back at the beginning: How do we solidify light? I'll take suggestions, but I'm thinking liquid acrylic would do. Surely, pouring a gigantic bucket of liquid acrylic in front of a 1,000,000 watt lightbulb might have some effect, perhaps solidifying and stretching the liquid and turning it into resin as it zips across the prairies.

Okay, so technically, that wouldn't be solidifying light. Sue me.

At least I've got a plan.

Song of the Day (week): "We Don't Care" by Dan Bryk. I am really a big fan of this dude. And he put a little comment on me ol' myspace last week. Shut up. It might actually be him. Or at least I can fantasize that it was... Give it a listen: www.myspace.com/ladylovinlynx

Link of the Day: http://www.delorean.com/ Sweet.

...And Scene. Picture me waving my hands downwards in an "end-of-scene" style... Picture the lights going down.

Yes, even though it's "scene" for the Prospect Jam, it's "go" for the new season on September 22.

It's been decided that P-Jam is gonna take a rest. Maybe it will rest for many moons. Maybe it will rest forever, and I think we should all be okay with that.

For those who are kind of pissed, don't be. I'll miss you all being in my life every Sunday, but now you can check out some of the wicked alternatives to P-Jam.

You just have to find them for yourselves... and of course, RFT still offers the best workshops in town.

I think we should have an Irish Wake for the P-Jam. For those who don't know what that is, it's a drunken party celebrating the departure of a friend. 'Twill be sweet.

Shall we name a time and place?

Thinking About Billy Van

I was flipping.

Not out, the channels.

And then I saw a familiar face.

It was Billy Van, performing on "The Hilarious House of Frightenstein". Some of you might remember this show, but mostly from it's 80's syndication on CBC. Or it's 90's run on YTV. Or it's current airings on Space TV.

Wherever you might have seen this show, one thing can be agreed on for sure: This dude is... something. Well, this dude was something. Word is he died in 2003. May he rest in peace.

I mean, he did a whole show pretty much by himself. He played practically every character. And he could barely decide what sort of show he was doing. At times, it seemed like a children's show (what with the "Pet Vet" character and "The Count" bits, with his wacky inventions). At other times, it was obviously a show for adults (with the hilarious Oracle and messed-up Grizelda).

Man if you haven't seen this show, give it a shot. Low budget fun. Music videos with Igor (played by Fishka Rais, the really freaky fat dude from cult classic "Cannibal Girls"... I believe he was calling himself Kingfish by then), Occasionally wickedly low-budget bits starring Mitch Markowitz as a wise-cracking Mosquito and a hard-to-describe bit where he played Superman revamped as "Superhippie", and here's the part that made it truly awesome:

Ready for it?

Vincent Price!

Seriously, Vincent Price was the Host/Narrator. For the most part, he just recited poetry in that delightful voice with his piercing stare...

Billy Van pressed on with his career, on every show you could possibly name that wasn't very good in the 70's and 80's. Here's an abbreviated list:

The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour
The Bobby Vinton Show
The Sonny and Cher Show (holy crap, they did it again??)
Circus
Bizarre

and of course, being a Canadian,

The Littlest Hobo.

This man had a dedication to sketch comedy unmatched in my estimation. May he continue to be re-shown on a different fledgling station for many generations to come.

Link of the Day: http://www.frightenstein.com/

Song of the Day: "Last Regrets" by Redfish. Saw them once at Urban Lounge. Very much enjoyed the show. Reminded me of Canadian Rock... Could be because they're Canadian. I added it to www.myspace.com/ladylovinlynx

Hasseling Hasselhoff

So, I'm listening to Sonic the other morning. A fellow states something similar to this:

"One of my heroes is David Hasselhoff. Anyone who can rock Germany that hard is okay in my books."

Or something like that.

I'm like, damn. There is no way there is one scrap of truth to those rumors. I've been hearing about them since High School. People always saying that Hasselhoff is bigger than Elvis in Germany. It never made a lick of sense to me. So finally, I looked it up.

And my mouth was shut.

I guess K.I.T.T.'s bitch really did have some hits in Europe. But the legend is slightly bloated. Yeah, he's got hits, but he's like Europe's Michael Bolton... Or, perhaps more accurately, Tom Jones. It's not as if 15-year-old German teens are screaming for him to have their babies.

Their 44-year-old mothers are.

And even though many websites contest he has "great success" throughout Europe, I can't find any proof of chart positions for his albums or singles. If anyone does, post the link in the comments.

Link of the Day: http://www.esquilax.com/baywatch/ I guess Mitch made someone a little jealous...

Song of the Day: "Unity" by 311. Rap Rock pioneers, they were. When the Red Hot Chili Peppers were the only ones doing this (okay, maybe Beastie Boys too).

An Ode to the Future.

Mr. David Bakker.

That's right, I'm talking to you, Mulder 007. The rest of you, please read on. Just understand that you're sitting at the table next to us at the Elephant and Castle, bystanders for our plans of self-destruction.

Okay, they're my plans for self-destruction, David just has to agree to them.

First, we're going to order a pitcher. Something dark. A beer-flavoured beer. Let's say, considering it's their motto, a Big Rock Traditional Ale. I prefer to call it "Trad".

Then, we're going to order another pitcher. We'll ask Darlene to change the music.

Then, we're going to find a club.

Not too surprisingly, it'll be Suite 69. Yep. A good place with music from all genres and ages. Not just for 70's and 80's anymore, you are just as likely to hear "Du Hast" as you are to hear "Do the Hustle".

Then, we're going to dance. Not with each other, near each other. To something by Daft Punk. Like two peacocks fanning their feathers, but imagine that in a less drag-queen like comparison. More like... uh...

Two bulls showing off their nose rings.
Two Eagles comparing bald heads.
Two Rig Pigs comparing scars.

Then, we're going to order another pitcher. I will request "No Diggity" by Blackstreet. Because I'll be a little hammered.

I'll then order two shooters. I'll accidentally drink them both. I'll buy two more, and give them to you.

We're going to find you the sweetest, finest, most intelligent, music-savvy, soft-skinned and pouty-lipped woman there, and she's going to fall in love with you... Or she'll slap you. One or the other. We really won't care.

Because we'll be wasted.

Happy Birthday, D. Let's tear this town a new A.

Song of the Day: "No Diggity" by Blackstreet. Listen up here: www.myspace.com/ladylovinlynx

Link of the Day: www.myspace.com/gallbrendan
Dedicated readers will figure out why this link is the link of the day. Go on, read about him.

Trip of the Tongue

I just realized something today.

I've been saying something totally wrong without even thinking about it for as long as I can remember.

I caught myself saying, "Hindsight is 50/50..."

Yeah. That's not so right. Actually, that's totally wrong. But it brought me to my senses about thinking before saying things. Not overthinking, but just thinking a little.

Obey impulse. Just don't be stupid. Meditate on that sonofabitch for a bit.

And take another drag.



Scene.

And I thought Fifi was just a name for a Poodle...

I went and saw "Stealing Venus".

I liked it.

It proved to me a few things I wasn't too sure of any more. My faith has been restored in my theory that an energetic performance can make for an engaging story. Sometimes, I worry that my own ideas for shows will fall flat because they involve too much chutzpah, pizzazz, and all-around rinky-tinkyness. I thought that energy might be a little old-fashioned.

This man did energy with charisma and loads of charm.

Most importantly, he told stories. True, the way he started his stories were a little base (You wanna know my story? My story?) but sometimes, that's okay.

I give it 3.5 Jazz Hands out of 5.

Then, I saw Montag, which proved to me the power of music. They kept using bizarre, distant soundclip music, trance-like in the way it repeated. It made simple stories seem abstract, and the story of lovers meeting seem ominous and dangerous. Cool.

I give it 4 Picassos out of 5. Renee drank a whole bottle of wine onstage in two swigs. I might have given it 5 had he spewed.

O Hi Yo Fringe, I spent a lot of money on you. With your Green Onion Cakes, Port Satay (which was un-satay-sfactory), Funky Pickle Pizza, Double lemon Chill, Chicken Bhoona, Scorpion Girl (how do I know her?), Balloon-swallowing man with a penis fixation, Deep fried Chocolate bars, and budding performers who either fall on their ass or rise to the top.

Amen.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRico!!

A gentlemen has performed outside of the front of Artifacts Trading Company every Fringe for the past 5 years.

For most of us, it's felt like a few years more.

This year, he offers up an interesting mix of pan flute music, including his versions of:

- House of the Rising Sun
- Living La Vida Loca
- Amazing Grace
- Unchained Melody
- Let it Be
- Chiquitita
- Fernando (two ABBA songs! GOODY!!!)
- The Lion Sleeps Tonight

... and here comes the kickers!

- Lady in Red
- Hotel California
- Candle in the Wind

And many, many, many, many, many more.

Don't cry for me, I'm already dead.

Wait, did I say dead? I meant deaf. I stabbed my own ear drums out this morning.

Expectations that Grate

For the last 4 years, my view of "acceptable" theatre has become a lot more... keen. Discerning, perceptive, whatever you call it.

All I'm saying is that I want certain things from a theatre experience now. I want a clear story. I want an intelligent or interesting narrative. I want good acting. GOOD ACTING!! I want a satisfactory ending. I want an original.

I will spare the identity of the actors and the plays that they are in at the Fringe that I didn't really enjoy. I have nothing against the people and their productions, because most folk will enjoy them and all the reviews for their work has been four stars and such.

However, when I see actors who just really aren't into their show (it's a comedy, waka waka! Nobody cares if we care, as long as we're funny! Hiyo!), a story that's ripped off from days of yore and made "banana phone" silly, endless references to "politics" (yes, we know George Dubya is destroying the planet, and that's hilarious and not overdone at all) and a mumbly, wandering, half-baked storytelling technique, it just makes me sad.

But love is in the air for the show I don't like, so this shall be the only, slightly cryptic, maybe not cryptic enough criticism of it that will be made.

But sometimes, even a bad story or an iffy overall production can be saved by sincerely zealous cast that takes their work seriously. Or at least it would allow me to walk out after a show thinking "that just didn't speak to me" instead of "that was uninspiring".

But why are you reading this? Shouldn't you be out Fringing?...

Uh, PS- Thanks for reading.

So Two Shawns walk into a Bar...

And they have a little blogscussion about impro(v).

A little background: In June, I said the following...

"On an improv-related note, I read recently on an expert's improv blog that "most companies would never start their show with a 10-minute rookie round".

Well, I guess we're not like most companies... I don't really like the fact that he referred to the round as being the home of the "weakest" players, because I think we prove consistently that it can be the home of the most no-holds-barred, high-energy, something-else-that-can-be-separated-by-hyphens improv this side of the nuthouse."

I hope Shawn doesn't mind if I reprint his response from my June 8th post called "Dare to be the Same". I'm only doing it because I don't think anybody would see it otherwise, due to how long ago the post was made. Despite the age of the post, the comment is actually only from yesterday...

I'll just cut and paste so I don't change any of his words:

"Hey Shawn,Thanks for reading my notes about impro. I was just working with a couple of the guys from Rapid Fire while we were in Washington. Just wanted to leave a little response to your comments if I may,

Where I said "most companies would never start their show with a 10-minute rookie round". and you said that you aren't like most companies, GOOD FOR YOU! That's great to hear. MOST companies around the world that I've been to (maybe 20 or 30 by now) have this preoccupation with what they see as "SUCCESS". They think they must always make the audience laugh, that they must always weight the show with their 'quickest' and 'strongest' players BUT I think they are missing the point.

When Keith Johnstone was here at the Loose Moose and we were focused on theatresports, he always said how important it was for the feel of the show and the growth of the company to have the opening "10 minute game" of our weaker/rooky players. So Good on ya for embracing a healthier attitude than most companies.

NOW - I just have to comment as well on the terminology of "weaker" players. The term is probably not the best (Rooky is probably a better term)and it was humorous that you called it the "most no-holds-barred, high-energy, something-else-that-can-be-separated-by-hyphens improv."

There are great strengths to "NEWER" improvisers... ("Newbies, Green, beginning level, uh... young in the process improvisers) There is often a great fearlessness that senior performers admire and great passion. But... they are often 'weaker' generally or they probably would be holding down a bigger part of the show. I've seen BRILLIANT scenes done by rooky improvisers BUT the consistency isn't there yet and more often it is a weaker quality (Why aren't rooky players doing the entire show?.

I have my Weak days, you have your weak days BUT having good, consistent technique, presence and content makes us over-all stronger improvisers.

Musn't let the ego get in the way of our work. If we are weaker, so be it. It gives us somewhere to go.

In the early days, Keith and then artistic associate Dennis Cahill would create different levels of performers A - B - C and sometimes lower level performers.
Often the people who were publicly grouped as C or D players would cave in and leave the theatre with crushed egos BUT more often they would rise up and WORK WORK WORK until they could kick the ass of any 'A' player. It was a bad system and didn't last long but showed how we are affected by our 'ego' and how we HATE being categorized as "weaker" even if we were.

Strong, Weak... doesn't really matter. Just do the work to the best of your ability and trust that the artistic directors of theatre companies are doing their job and putting you into a spot in the show that supports your growth and most of all, the show itself.

All the best,
Shawn(probably will change the blog to reflect a better terminology)"
12:28 AM, August 20, 2006

I hope I didn't offend... and I'm flattered to hear from him. For the record, Shawn Kinley is a respected member of the theatre with loads of experience in mime, mask, and physical theatre. I wish him decades more of success.

Link of the Day: www.shawnkinley.com

It's time to Play the Music, It's Time to Light the Lights

Alright, the FRINGE is HERE!!!. Go see this stuff.

SCRATCH (That's Arlen and Kevin, folks).
Stage 7 (Chianti Stage... confusing because it's at Royal Canadian Legion, Strathcona: 10416 - 81 Avenue... ah, sponsorship)
Tickets Everyone: $10.00 Advance Tickets:$14.00
Upcoming Shows:
Thursday, August 17, 8:00 pm
Saturday, August 19, 1:45 pm
Wednesday, August 23, 2:30 pm
Thursday, August 24, 12:00 pm
Friday, August 25, 11:30 pm
Saturday, August 26, 6:15 pm
Sunday, August 27, 8:15 pm

THEATRESPORTS
BYOV J (Which is the Iron Horse...8101 Gateway Blvd, that train-stationy building)
Tickets General: $10.00 RFT members (must show card): $8.00
Advance Tickets: $14.00
Upcoming Shows:
Friday, August 18, 7:15 pm
Sunday, August 20, 8:45 pm
Monday, August 21, 10:00 pm
Tuesday, August 22, 10:00 pm
Wednesday, August 23, 8:45 pm
Thursday, August 24, 7:00 pm
Friday, August 25, 7:00 pm
Saturday, August 26, 5:30 pm
Sunday, August 27, 7:00 pm

DIE-NASTY: The Legendary Live Improvised Soap Opera
Stage 8, the Coca-Cola Stage... You all know it better as The Varscona Theatre: 10329 -83 Avenue.
Tickets General: $10.00 Fringe Artists with Badges: $0
Advance Tickets:$14.00
Night of Friday, August 18, 12:15 am
Night of Saturday, August 19, 12:15 am
Night of Sunday, August 20, 12:15 am
Night of Monday, August 21, 12:15 am
Night of Tuesday, August 22, 12:15 am
Night of Wednesday, August 23, 12:15 am
Night of Thursday, August 24, 12:15 am
Night of Friday, August 25, 12:15 am
Night of Saturday, August 26, 12:15 am

MONTAG (do not miss, all the way from Austria! Jacob!)
Stage 13 (Not to be confused with the rock concert) (Brian Paisley Stage) Planet ZE Design Centre, 10055 - 80 Avenue
Tickets: $10.00 Students/Austrians: $8.00
Advance Tickets: $14.00
Upcoming Shows:
Thursday, August 17, 8:00 pm
Friday, August 18, 3:30 pm
Monday, August 21, 5:00 pm
Tuesday, August 22, 2:00 pm
Wednesday, August 23, 11:30 pm
Friday, August 25, 11:30 pm
Saturday, August 26, 7:30 pm

Saturday Morning Pajama Jam
BYOV J (Iron Horse: 8101 Gateway Blvd)
Tickets Everyone: $10.00
Advance Tickets: $14.00
Upcoming Shows:
Saturday, August 19, 5:30 pm
Monday, August 21, 8:45 pm
Tuesday, August 22, 7:00 pm
Wednesday, August 23, 10:15 pm
Thursday, August 24, 8:30 pm
Friday, August 25, 5:30 pm
Sunday, August 27, 5:45 pm

Sex, CRUMBS & Rock'n'Roll
BYOV J (Iron Horse: 8101 Gateway Blvd)
Tickets Regular: $10.00 Students: $8.00
Advance Tickets:$14.00
Upcoming Shows:
Friday, August 18, 5:30 pm
Saturday, August 19, 7:00 pm
Sunday, August 20, 7:00 pm
Monday, August 21, 7:00 pm
Tuesday, August 22, 8:15 pm
Wednesday, August 23, 7:00 pm
Thursday, August 24, 10:00 pm
Saturday, August 26, 7:00 pm
Sunday, August 27, 4:00 pm

Enjoy yerselves.

Song of the Day: "2nd Gun" by Volcano, I'm Still Excited!! Really, an interesting trio. Kind of like an American Hot Hot Heat, if you will. Listen: www.myspace.com/ladylovinlynx

Link of the Day: http://www.fringetheatreadventures.ca/
You don't think I seriously handwrote all those schedules out? Heck no! Directly copied from the official site.

Playwright of the Day: Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
- plays attempted to force society to examine its own hypocrisy
- known for his witty, insightful, and sharp commentaries on upper-class British society
- work is similar to most Victorian farces and comedies (only better), melodramatic
- plays include "The Importance of Being Earnest", "Salomé", and "A Woman of No Importance".

Most of my wording is taken from the Bedford Introduction to Drama this time.

Spontaneity: In Doses

In beginner improv, we seem to preach spontaneity.

But spontaneity can be dangerous. Let me explain.

So I'm standing in the bathroom. I'm looking at my chest in the mirror. I say to myself:

Damn. That's one long nipple hair.

Now I know nipple hair can't possibly be sexy. Especially wild, untamed nipple hair. I think to myself, I gotta cut this. That just doesn't look right. I look in the drawer for my electric razor. Oh yeah, I haven't unpacked that since the wedding I went to on Saturday... I'm getting a nasty pervo moustache from not shaving...

So anyway, I look for anything. Scissors, something that cuts. Anything!

And then I see the lighter.

Someone who's never done improv would not consider burning their nipple hair off instead of cutting it. I mean, that's quite possibly the stupidest idea I've ever had. But I had it. It was my idea.

Luckily, that little voice in the back of my head, you know, the one that says stuff like "Now now. Stop staring at that guy's hook hand" or "Whoa back, sonny. Don't you start a fight with that drag queen", that little voice kicked in. It said "Hey there, sport. Fire Bad."

Indeed.

PS-- Sorry to Arlen and Kevin. I totally didn't know you guys were going on "Hey Ma! I'm on Sonic!". I submitted the first Generalizer Sampler last week as a playlist, and Adam said "I'm on the pile", which I guess means the good pile, not the bad pile... I hope you don't think me the copy cat.

Why Shawn Hates Peaches

Yesterday, I received an e-mail from a good friend of mine; Jeremy.

We met when a young, spritely me made his way up to Fort McMurray to explore Keyano College. They had come to my High School to brag about their awesome theatre, so I signed up for their "student for the day" program.

Up I went, with a "gee willikers" expression on my face and a Transformer backpack on my back... No wait, that was the first day of kindergarten...

Up I went, with a "holy shit" expression on my face and a Transformer backpack on my back. I arrived at the Purple Palace... You heard me. Purple Palace. That's what they call their student residence up there, and with good reason. There I met Jeremy. He was my "roommate for the day". Little did I know that situation would continue for a year.

To make a long story short, Jeremy introduced me to the wonderful world of dorm life, drinking, and hurting each other for sport (by they way, the Coulter Ankle Lock is when he attempts to separate my foot from my leg... ah, good times). Oh yeah, and with drinking came Peach Schnapps...

One night, 2 years after he and I had moved on to tackle our Acting careers (Jeremy has been paid to do theatre about 10 times more than me... I'll catch up), we decided to drink and play violent video games for 8 hours straight. Jeremy has a knack for making me think that I'm invincible when I'm with him, and he knows I have a competitive spirit, so I thought if I can't beat him at theatre, I can beat him at alcoholism!

So there I was, with a full bottle of fruit brandy and manliness to prove.

I drank that sucker. I kicked it's ass within 2 hours.

And then, it kicked my ass for 18 hours.

Peach only tastes good going down, and ruins your desire for it for life if you ever get sick from it. I remember mixing it with some Butterscotch Schnapps to soften the blow. That's where drunk logic gets you.

Oh Jeremy, I know it wasn't just you that made me hate Peaches. It was also those coolers I drank at dorm parties, you know, those 2-litre plastic bottles that look ever-so-classy. And it was partially the performing artist/"musician" Peaches, who (sorry Peaches fans) has a knack for being untalented and filthy. Or it could be my hamster from Elementary school named Peaches, who died horribly of some sort of bowel disease.

It's not your fault, Jeremy. My hatred of Peaches is a rich tapestry.

Getting Over Being Right... And not Wanting to Be

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The Crumbling of Social Walls

Sometimes, I feel like the David Suzuki of the Urban Jungle.

I've been fascinated by people since I was very young. The way they move, look, and interact. I divided them into social classes; some might call these "cliques". I always make sure I know where I fit among these misunderstood creatures.

But now, the world has changed.

It all started to occur to me when I went into the local Scottish Cuisine Foodatorium, or McDonald's, as the natives call it. I noticed an intriguing member of the species that I immmediately began to classify.

Lanky.

Dressed in Bohemian plain shirt and skirt combo; Shirt beige, skirt black.

Wearing slipper-type shoes with flower accent; purely for fashion's sake. I wouldn't want to be wearing such footwear if I was walking around on Whyte Avenue... 1/8 of a millimeter of foam between me and that sidewalk?

Lisa Loebesque Glasses.

I placed this subject into the following category: "Geekus Chicus". The nerd with flair. The girl who reads books and can engage in serious conversations about both Dungeons and Dragons and Tom Waits. A girl who listens to the University radio station. A girl who has an apartment nearby with her platonic male friend.

Geekus Chicus.

But what's this? I hear a conversation she's having with her friends. And it goes a little something like this; Hit it:

"So they're going to meet us at the f*ckin' Thirsty Turtle. F*ck. Remember those f*ckin clowns on swings I used to have? F*ckin' Miranda has the same f*ckin' ones, and she has f*ckin' marionettes hanging from her f*ckin' ceiling. F*ck! I can't sleep in that f*ckin' room! Clowns creep the f*ckin' sh*t out of me!! Holy f*ck!"

Oh snap. My classification and categorization was completely off.

The times, they have changed. Battle lines are blurred in the new social circles and behaviour typical of one social circle have bled into many others. Is Geekus Chicus becoming just another Snobbus Popularis? Or has Snobbus Popularis changed it's appearance so drastically, it makes it impossible to tell one from the other?

Fascinating.